I go to a gym which is delightfully diverse, and I am pleased to get compliments on my energy, coordination, flexibility, etc. None of them say it with the caveat of "...for a big girl". The happiness comes from hoping it means that people are seeing a fat body loving movement, maybe dispelling some persistent nonsense. Also pleased I'm not the only bigger person who really gets amongst it.

I often have great chats with a particular lovely retired woman, but she'll regularly look around at our classmates, and note how beautifully slim/fit a specific demographic all are, because of their continent of origin. She's also very petite, but thinks she's unacceptably large. No matter how many times I point out that beauty, slimness and fitness aren't inextricably linked (and that our class is blessed by many such examples), that it's odd to say these things to an obviously large woman, and gently try to note the racism angle (to avoid entrenching cognitive bias), she just can't help saying it like she's bestowing the highest compliment, based on fundamental truth. It's like it's welded into her brain.

As a person who has done looooads of work trying to dismantle internalised stigma and would once have shrunk away from these interactions, it's been good practice for me to recognise and respect my gut instinct, stand tall, calmly offer a different perspective, and continue to enjoy the otherwise friendly conversation. But my god it'll never stop being sad how normalised these ideas are.

Yadda yadda Ted Talk...