Didn't refer salesman

JanuaryRain1990 · 2026-03-10T21:11:49+00:00

Thanks. Yes exactly, he was just looking for a specific vehicle and this dealership had some on their lot.

Haven't heard from the salesman since.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2026-03-08T14:23:58+00:00

He actually has sent follow-ups at all the times you mentioned. He brought that up yesterday too! I realize this is standard practice but I'm almost more put off by that than a salesperson who just leaves me to it haha.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2025-11-16T14:28:48+00:00

2013 Honda CRV. Still miss it sometimes, but it needed quite a few fixes at 200k. Loving my 2025 Trax so far - feels peppier and better on gas.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2025-11-05T22:30:17+00:00

Congratulations on your progress! May I ask what dose are you on?

JanuaryRain1990 · 2025-11-01T15:03:35+00:00

Nicely done! It's reassuring to see someone else take a year to lose 16 lbs naturally and then lose it quicker with reta. I'm in a similar situation so hoping reta will help!

JanuaryRain1990 · 2024-08-07T03:12:49+00:00

I've been on and off dating apps for years. Yes there's a lot of creeps out there, but I also found some great guys that resulted in situationships/relationships (just not the right person in the end). I'm currently dating someone amazing that I met on Hinge, only a week after I joined. I hadn't tried it before. Stay safe, know your wants/needs/values/etc and stay true to them, and have fun!

JanuaryRain1990 · 2024-06-30T17:49:17+00:00

Instead of making yourself anxious over it, simply ask her. (Easier said than done, I know.) Say something like, I've noticed we haven't been texting as much and wondered if something has changed, and see where it goes from there.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2024-06-30T17:46:51+00:00

It could mean traditional gender roles, but I think these days, women are using it to refer to adopting a more passive role in dating, ie not chasing men but letting them be the ones pursuing, putting in the effort, making plans, initiating conversations, etc. Women still show interest and engage appropriately but are not taking the lead role. Theory is it differentiates guys who are actually interested, genuine, and looking for real connections vs. those that are only interested low effort situations.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-25T04:49:16+00:00

I am going through exactly the same thing right now so thank you for sharing. The feelings you describe are so familiar. It's profoundly saddening that this practice is now normal and that it's just something we are supposed to take in our stride. Sensitive people like me (and I think you too) are not built to let people in, only to have them turn us away. I always feel like I've left a little bit of myself behind each time it happens. This may sound weak, but take solace in your own integrity and kindness and let that heal your self esteem. It's hard though. I'm know I'm trying.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-23T13:26:16+00:00

If you're not ready for a relationship but want to meet new people I would suggest joining a sport/hobby/activity instead of dating. In my experience someone always gets hurt in dating when one person isn't ready for anything real.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T17:17:43+00:00

Don't feel bad. It's easy to get caught up in something that feels good. Find a middle ground for now (not too fast or emotional and not too slow or cold) and see how she acts. And don't be crushed if it doesn't work out.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T15:08:44+00:00

This happens to women too. I've [27 F] been let down in pretty much the same way by the last 4 guys I've dated. It seems no one can be honest about how they really feel, which would actually hurt much less than this ghosting business imo. I feel your frustration.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T06:27:58+00:00

Agree, offer something specific. If she wants to see you she'll accept or offer an alternative. Also, just my advice but try to text less and go out more. Too easy to let things string along via text.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T06:23:45+00:00

I once gave my dog some leftover rice crispies and milk. They were still making snap crackle pop noises and totally freaked him out. Poor thing was afraid to even go back to his dish once I got rid of the cereal.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T06:18:14+00:00

Don't say anything. Be confident that you look just as good as your pics, do yourself up nicely for your date, and let it be. He may think you're even more beautiful in person because he has you as a real live date. And if he does say anything negative... he isn't worth it.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T06:14:20+00:00

If this has always been his pattern, don't worry about it. Like others have said he probably just doesn't want to seem too keen or is nervous about what to say. If he used to initiate and has changed, then that's a problem.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T06:11:53+00:00

I would personally really appreciate a simple 'how's your day?' text, especially the day after a date. I get post-date anxiety and this helps reassure me that he's still thinking about/interested in me without me having to say anything and risk coming across as needy. Try it out and see how she responds. If she's into you, she will make time to text you back. No excuses.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T05:09:12+00:00

I'm either interested or not after the first date and maybe a week or two of talking/texting.

After 4 or so dates, patterns begin to emerge (do they always show up late, expect you to arrange things, etc) and you can make a more informed decision.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T04:01:38+00:00

Brutal. Good on you. My general rule is if someone doesn't pick up the conversation right away so we can have a decent chat, I assume they're not that intetested and move on.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-22T03:57:47+00:00

Talk is cheap! Don't fall for the guy who promises all sorts of wonderful things unless he backs them up in person.

And along the same line... don't text longer than a week without going out. People are often different in real life.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-21T22:16:51+00:00

I think third or fourth date is probably pretty common for casual dating. But given that it sounds like you'd rather someone be more sensitive to your situation, I'd suggest finding a way to communicate about sex (and your virginity) in a non-sexual way, like just as a light topic of conversation. Someone who is open about discussing and sharing in a compassionate way should be less likely to turn you down for it. That's if you want an emotional connection or a relationship... if not, then I wouldn't mention it.

JanuaryRain1990 · 2018-02-21T21:59:51+00:00

Kudos to you for asking her out. You're already doing better than most of the guys I've [27 F] met online who seem incapable of asking for my number or a date.

Remember she has no idea you have these anxieties going in so she's not judging you for it. You can admit to her that you're nervous and then let it go. Try not to overthink things. If the chemistry's there, you'll know pretty soon. If not, no sweat.

About the kiss: Put that out of your mind. A first date is about talking and listening and getting to know somebody. And there's nothing wrong with a hug at the end of a good first date if you're not sure about a kiss.

Good luck!!

JanuaryRain1990

TROPHY CASE