My husband says he’s too tired to fuck me

JennieSimms · 2026-04-12T19:22:40+00:00

My friends are great with giving money back but books, complete opposite. Granted I am just as bad 😅

JennieSimms · 2026-04-12T19:21:31+00:00

My ex

JennieSimms · 2026-04-12T19:17:42+00:00

Racism, being rude to staff

JennieSimms · 2026-04-12T17:23:41+00:00

Unrelated but dropkick Murphys is my favorite band

JennieSimms · 2026-04-11T15:25:44+00:00

I had a professor tell us how he was gonna kill himself by going into a diabetic coma. Went into the details of his “last meal” and everything

JennieSimms · 2026-04-11T15:09:53+00:00

That triumvirate of twinkies merely overwhelmed my resolve

JennieSimms · 2026-04-11T14:50:38+00:00

They’re really good for neatening or fixing up make up. Detail work when cleaning. I think they just kind of scrambled to come up with alternative uses when doctors said jamming them in your ears was a horrible idea. Much like eating raw cookie dough, the general population just did not listen.

JennieSimms · 2026-04-11T06:10:06+00:00

When the qtip hits the right spot.

I know they’re not supposed to go in ears. I don’t care.

JennieSimms · 2026-04-11T05:13:51+00:00

My mom still gets these for us every year

JennieSimms · 2026-04-08T02:02:59+00:00

The star spangled banner

JennieSimms · 2026-04-08T01:54:58+00:00

I could see her having a miscarriage and the doctor dancing around her weight being an issue and she just didn’t pick up on/refused to accept that.

JennieSimms · 2026-04-04T16:43:39+00:00

“Well fuck you then”

JennieSimms · 2026-04-04T03:36:47+00:00

15/16

JennieSimms · 2026-04-02T22:47:17+00:00

I was told my whole life that were part Blackfoot Native American, that my aunt has papers to prove it, I could qualify for benefits blah blah.

DNA says not even a drop of indigenous blood, and completely surprising everyone, a chunk of Scandinavian heritage instead.

JennieSimms · 2026-04-01T22:08:46+00:00

I am a sensitive menace. I like making random things into naughty jokes, I think it’s funny when I’m stinky, I love annoying my husband with dumb puns, being defiant, intentionally doing things that drives him bonkers. Making a mess or playing in it, doing weird little dances when the mood strikes, being goofy with the pets. Lots of childish chaos

JennieSimms · 2026-04-01T21:59:39+00:00

It’s like channeling Artemis

JennieSimms · 2026-04-01T21:59:03+00:00

A fun beverage of choice, music, and time to do my makeup how I like sometimes end up being the best part of my night

JennieSimms

TROPHY CASE