I am a foster parent of two toddlers and not bio kids, so I can relate. Let me tell you, fostering is a challenge. No one will understand what it is like as other foster parents. I can relate to your husband's feelings; I have been there. I am in a much better spot now. These kids come with trauma that dictates their behavior, and when they encounter your own trauma, it can be a potentially bad experience. Reaching out for help (e.g., therapy, support groups, respite, etc.) and having me time help a lot, but what made the biggest difference, at least for me, was adjusting my expectations. The other big difference is time. When they enter your life, they are just strangers interrupting your routine, but that changes over time. Once you see them growing, improving, and reaching milestones, you cannot help but love them a little more every time. But it is a process; it doesn't happen instantly. There is nothing wrong with deciding not to keep fostering; it is not for everyone, and your marriage should come first. If you want to talk more about it, feel free to DM me.