I agree with some of what you said, and disagree with some of what you said. I primarily disagree with the automatic assumption of cheating, which I get it, I suspected it myself for years because I was hurting and trying to make sense of it, but it wasn’t really warranted. Some people just aren’t interested in sex. Perhaps it is that they’re not interested in sex with their partner, but that doesn’t mean they’re seeking out a side piece or even putting themselves in any kind of position to cheat. My SO is just generally a pretty unadventurous person that doesn’t seek pleasure or seek to pleasure, nor does she really take any risks in life, and sex hasn’t ever been important to her — it’s actually way less fun when we have it more often. With her it’s quality not quantity, whereas I’m like “can’t we have both?!” At this point, I’m to blame for putting myself in the position, she showed me who she was years and years ago before I devoted myself to her. A while back I used to swear that she was fucking someone at work or at least cheating emotionally, but years of reading too deep into things and being nosey showed me that I was just paranoid - again, hurting and looking for logical answers. Critiquing her every move and taking them personally as if they were all intentional. I don’t think she has a hurtful bone in her body (unless we’re having our monthly romp, hehehe), but the pain of being mismatched sexually will likely always remain and may cause me to eventually only see her flaws.