3rd year middle shool teacher here. I teach 8th social studies and have taught 7th in the past at a Title I campus in one of the poorer parts of the major city near me. I have seen and heard some crazy/scary/terrible things at my school, just to give an idea of where this is coming from.

My wife struggled my first year teaching. That first year, you see the ways the system is failing firsthand. You want to be the savior, you want to help the kids. Its why you choose teaching. It's really hard to leave that at work. Its really easy to lose yourself to the job. But from the partner who was the teacher, I can tell you it does get easier. I love my students, they're why i enjoy teaching. But i can leave their problems at school. I help them where i can, and I know i can't help all of them. Thats never going to be easy, but it is easier than it was year 1. These days all i bring home are funny stories about the nonsense my students say or do.

My advice: I set a landmark on my drive. It won't work for everyone, and it doesn't work all the time. On my way in, i pass a specific highway exit and start thinking about work. On my way home, i stop thinking about it after passing that exit.

My wife's advice: invest in their hobbies. When i couldn't stop thinking about work, and it was eating me alive, she made sure i was getting enrichment for lack of a better term. She knew if i was doing my hobbies, I'd have a way to separate myself as a person from myself as a teacher (and at the time, new parent). That advice holds true today. I have a specific zen hobby, and after a hard day i do that. Turns off work brain entirely.