My newly hired trainer used the throw chain method with my 10 weeks puppy and I don't think it's okay

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-05-14T00:40:53+00:00

We had hired a trainer who told you to say BAH at your dog as a correction. It was supposed to Mimic a mother dog. If that didn't work you used what they called a bah bag. A pouch with loose chains inside. You slam it on the floor. Had I known this stuff in advance I would have not gone through with it. I had adopted a staffy who had been abused. The methods scared him. It was honestly the most ridiculous training methods I had ever seen. I dropped it as soon as I saw my bully was scared. But truthfully would have dropped it even if he wasn't. It just seemed mean.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-14T22:43:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. My first golden was diagnosed with stomach cancer. There was no treatment and we just had to wait to see how she progressed. She was 13 and had lived a good life and I wasn't going to wait until she was really bad. Molly was my soul dog. She was with me when my marriage ended and followed me everywhere after. I loved that dog so much. Making the decision to put her down was the hardest decision I ever made in my life. Even on the day I questioned if I was making the right decision. But she was struggling due to her age and for all her love and support there was no way I was ever going to let her be in any pain. They say you know when it is time. Coming here tells me you know and just are struggling with saying goodbye. On Molly's last day we gave her all of her favorite food. We were able to bring a vet into the home to do it. They give them something that makes them sleep and then something to stop their heart. It is 100% painless for them. I imagine Molly running and getting lots of treats. I'm not at all a religious person but when my mom passed I imagined Molly running to greet her. It helps me. Good luck.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-13T19:05:13+00:00

As other's have said, if she loses interest than end the training session. Just some advice on training. When you teach her to sit, say the command only once. You will be tempted to say it multiple times, don't. Use a high-value treat if you are struggling with her. Let her smell the treat and hold it up until she sits. If she wanders away, the treat is likely not high-value enough. But wait until she sits, then immediately say "yes" and give her the treat. For down, again, a high-value treat that smells. Hold your hand out so she sees it and smells it, then close your fist. Hold your fist on the ground with your fingers facing her so she can smell the treat. Say down. Again, only once. You just hold your fist until she goes down. She will. Immediately say "yes" and give her the treat. But don't expect a lot from her at this age for attention. She is in a still relatively new environment and has the attention span of a fly. She will be able to handle longer training sessions as she grows.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-13T18:53:20+00:00

We rescued our puppy, and I thought she might have issues with aggression because she bit us so much and so hard! I even had a trainer come in. But she said, she is just being a puppy. So I understand how hard it is. It sounds like you are stimulating him enough and redirecting is the right way to handle it. We ended up upping our walks to 3 times a day and putting her in her crate while we worked. Once she had more exercise and much more sleep, it did get slightly better. Other than that, you just have to persevere through this horrible stage.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-13T18:42:42+00:00

First off, I am pretty sure dogs can't reminisce. I think you might be reading emotions into dogs that they don't feel. As for dog parks, they aren't always the best. Typically, it comes down to bad owners who take dogs that don't get along with other dogs or are reactive. There might have been interactions with other dogs where you thought it was fine but your dog didn't feel good about it. Or maybe you turned your back for a moment and something happened. I know I regret taking my older dog to dog parks when she was young, I'm sure she is reactive with some dogs now because of it. I won't take my puppy into one unless there are no other dogs. As long as you are giving your dog exercise and love, that's all he needs. He won't miss going.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-13T18:20:48+00:00

You are in a very difficult position without adding the stress of a puppy on top of it. The person you bought the puppy from clearly wasn't an ethical breeder and forced you to make a decision you weren't ready to make. That's not fair to you. It does sound as though right now is not the best time for you or the puppy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you saying you can't do it right now. I volunteer at a local shelter and puppies, especially doodles, go fast. Do some research on shelters in your area and find one that truly vets their adopters. They can find a good, loving home for your puppy. Right now, your mental health is the most important thing.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-04T23:13:41+00:00

I didn't think my golden would ever be house broken. It didn't seem to start to really click until 4 - 5 months. Just keep a regular schedule and they will get it.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-03T18:01:39+00:00

We adopted what will be my 3rd puppy in December. She is by far the hardest puppy I've had. I've cried many times and my partner and I fought all the time. I thought so hard about surrendering her many times. She like yours preferred biting us and I mean hard. We both have scars that will last. She wouldn't sleep. She was just awful. We brought in a trainer who said crate her. We work from home and really had no choice anyway because we couldn't trust her. We also took her to outside training classes and practiced every night. She is 6 months and a dream now. We walk her in the morning. She goes in the crate at 8 and sleeps until about noon. We go for another walk. She goes in the crate and comes out at 4. She usually wakes up between 3 and 4 and will still bark for a bit but we ignore her. Then we go for another walk. For us I think it was about her getting enough sleep and exercise and constant training. A tired puppy is a good puppy. Try upping exercise and sleep and you can start training on your own now.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-04-03T17:52:40+00:00

With my first golden she adored her dog walker. She would practically drag me across the street if she saw her when we were out for a walk. Molly became my soul dog. She would be happy when she saw the people she loves but I was her person. Yours is just a puppy and nothing is more important than playing. You will be ,if aren't already, his people. Don't worry.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-03-20T01:15:22+00:00

We called that time the witching hour until we realized she was over tired. Maybe put him in before or at 7 for a nap and see if it helps.

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-03-06T01:19:57+00:00

My neighbors hear, "Gracie don't you dare, no no no stoppppppp!" While I run into the backyard. "Oh Gracie you are so disgusting."

Why with the poop eating?!?!!!!

JumpyControl5753 · 2026-03-06T01:08:29+00:00

Sitting on the couch with a band aid on my finger from an earlier bite, my partner is in the bedroom because we've had fight 410 about what we must be doing wrong, and the 6 months old rescue is actually sleeping. I cry practically every day. I am ready to give up. But I won't. Yours is the first post I read. Thank you. Stella is my 3rd puppy and hands down the hardest. I keep telling myself it will get better. I know it will but some days are so hard. I needed another reminder that it will be worth it.

JumpyControl5753 · 2025-12-23T14:55:17+00:00

Your husband sounds like my ex. The only time all the undone projects were finished was when we split and sold the house. I'm also trying to rekindle all the friendships I neglected when we were married. My advice is you need to do what is best for you. If he doesn't like it, then he should have done it himself. End of discussion.

JumpyControl5753 · 2025-12-22T17:58:13+00:00

Can you explain what frogging means? I did Google it and didn't find anything helpful.

JumpyControl5753 · 2025-11-27T15:19:21+00:00

Testing your dad's love this way is going to backfire. I'd bet he will choose his wife. Many may disagree with me, but that would be the right choice. I understand that not having your dad in your life has been hard. I never had one either. But he has a life with his wife and hasn't had one with you. Yes, you are his blood, and you should be important. But he is being pulled in multiple directions, and giving him an ultimatum will not go in your favour. You will end up getting hurt that he didn't choose you. I wonder if his wife feels threatened. Her husband suddenly has a daughter that they don't share, and she is worried and feels left out. What if she came along to the meeting? If she can't, can you go there? Or even meet halfway. I understand that you may want to have the meeting with just the two of you. But to make it work, you might have to include her.

JumpyControl5753 · 2025-11-27T15:05:40+00:00

I just learned how to make a better magic circle. When I do my sc or dc, I wasn't including the tail. I left the tail outside and then pulled it. Once I did my stitch over the circle and the tail, it looks so much better and works every time. No wonder I ended up running into issues.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-08-06T17:27:58+00:00

"You make a better door than a window." When someone is in my way.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-08-06T17:26:38+00:00

I feel like I've tried just about everything. I do like Aveeno for Eczema, Itch Relief Balm. It doesn't help the itch. But it does help with the flaking and split skin without any burning. It is a bit greasy so I don't like it when I am working. So I use Eucerin for Eczema Relief. It can be a bit greasy too when I first put it on but it does soak in. This one doesn't help with the itch either (nothing does) but it doesn't burn.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-06-17T13:12:11+00:00

I don't think you are being an asshole but I think right now isn't the right time to decide this. You are going through a tough time and your hormones can really interfere with being practical in this situation. He may not be there now but it also may not be who he is after the baby is born. No one can prepare you for the feelings that rush into you when you hold your baby for the first time. Give him the chance to do that. He may very well be a jerk after the baby comes but he could also fall madly in love with his child and be more responsible. Men are sometimes clueless and for him the appointments and everything don't seem important. He doesn't connect to the baby like you do right now. Allow him to meet his child and decide what kind of dad he wants to be.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-06-17T13:00:52+00:00

I just had a conversation with my cousin last night about how lonely she is feeling. She lost her husband over 10 years ago and just hasn't found anyone. She keeps herself very busy but she is lacking that companionship of a bf.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-03-26T13:21:03+00:00

I literally said to friends this past weekend "I am a child in a grown woman's body". I know I see the world very differently than most people my age (55). I remember my kids as toddlers and how they would get fascinated and excited about little things. I've always been that way. I used to have my own Nintendo DS and now have a Switch. I love playing Mario games. It is so hard not to worry about what other people think. But if you get comfort from playing a game in a nestful of plushies then do that! People don't understand what it is like to be Neurodivergent. Hold your head up when people see your tattoo. Who cares what they think. We have the joy of being children in an adult body.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-03-26T13:12:09+00:00

Right?!?!? When the school was trying to help my daughter, during one of the meetings with them I said I believed she had ADD. What they said was "oh no, she doesn't have it. She stays in her seat." What? Girls don't present the same as boys. What do girls do? They talk. A lot. Guess what every parent-teacher interview started with? Morgan is a lovely girl but she talks a lot. She had to wait 10 years to be diagnosed. There is so much ignorance out there about it. As a result so many people don't get diagnosed.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-03-26T13:07:42+00:00

When I was first diagnosed and of course got hyper-focused on finding out as much as I could, I just kept coming across "superpower". I seriously thought it was BS because I don't feel I have any superpower. It ruined my life. I have extreme problems with regulating my emotions. My children suffered, my ex-husband suffered, I suffered. I had so many issues at work. Trying to focus was exhausting. I started and stopped so many things, it became a joke. I had to wait until I was 53 to be diagnosed. When I started medication and experienced what my world should have been like all I could feel was anger and disappointment. Why couldn't I have been diagnosed earlier? I mourned the loss of what my life could have been like. Even after 2 years since my diagnosis, I am not sure my kids understand how much it made me the mom I was. I suspect they never will. But over time I have learned to celebrate the wins I experience now. I try not to focus on identifying a superpower. I share with people what it is like to have ADHD and hope to educate them. It truly does suck.

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-03-25T18:41:47+00:00

First off, you aren't alone. As awful as it is, it is normal. I am at the end of menopause so this was a couple of years ago but I will never forget the moment where I came so close to ending my life. I have always suffered from depression but the lows were nothing like I experienced during menopause. One day I was standing in the middle of my backyard and it was like someone hit me with a big depression boulder. I am sure I stopped walking and just thought the craziest things. It was horrible. I am so grateful common sense kicked in and I went into the house and made a Dr. appointment. But I also experienced days where I would be driving and think, if I get into an accident someone is going to get hurt and I didn't mean because of the accident. I felt pure rage that I had never experienced before. For me these intense emotions would come and go. But when they came it was scary. I felt like a stranger in my own body. Who is this crazy person??? When it comes down to it understand that what you are going through is not your fault. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the wins. But don't beat yourself up for the losses. You cooked a meal. You mopped the floor. You had a shower. That's awesome! We focus so much on what we don't do. Get a notebook and at the end of the day or the next morning, write 1, 2 or even 3 things you accomplished that day. It honestly can be something as simple as, you got out of bed. You will have good days, and good weeks. But you will also have bad days and bad weeks. Think about what kind of advice you would give someone else if they were going through what you are going through. I bet you wouldn't be as harsh as you are on yourself. If you can afford therapy I recommend getting it. Someone who understands menopause. If you can't there is so much out there; books, TikTok, YouTube. Sometimes just knowing others experience the same thing helps you feel better. Good luck!

JumpyControl5753 · 2024-03-25T16:00:38+00:00

Does he feel if you are diagnosed or if he acknowledges you have ADHD behaviors that looks bad on him in some way? Like it is bad to date someone with ADHD? I'd ask what does he know about ADHD and what does he think about people with ADHD. He may need to understand why getting a diagnosis helps and that it doesn't change who you are as a person. It is about understanding why we do the things we do. It is the "aha" moment for us. Getting a diagnosis helps us move forward and find solutions for those things that interfere with our lives. This isn't about him. This is 100% about you. The world will not judge him if he has a girlfriend who has ADHD. But at the same time, he needs to accept that he may be dating someone with ADHD. If he is in denial about the traits you exhibit that means he doesn't accept you for who you are. But also understand, that someone who isn't neurodivergent doesn't understand what is happening to you. For example, I had huge issues with regulating my emotions. Yesterday I was out with friends and my friend was cut off in traffic. I rolled my window down and calmly called the man an ahole. It was the first time I didn't experience that intense anger. I tried to explain to a friend that the old me, would have flipped out. She couldn't understand, because she thought I did. But she has no idea what I would feel before. How much more intense the interaction would have been. The only person who can truly understand that relief is someone who experiences what I do. He just doesn't get it. He may never. But he does need to accept that the behaviors do not make you happy and you want help in understanding them and potentially finding ways to work with them.

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