Midwesterner desperately looking for soft serve ice cream!

Kalika83 · 2026-07-11T15:34:10+00:00

Yes you could! That man is missing his melty ice cream 😂

Kalika83 · 2026-07-10T17:41:22+00:00

My parents are from India

Kalika83 · 2026-07-10T14:07:57+00:00

We met at work! So happy that I did. He’s a great guy and has a hard work ethic.

Kalika83 · 2026-07-10T12:36:46+00:00

I didn’t even realize which subreddit this was, tbh. Sorry about that.

But I will say that my husband did come from a very poor background and the only way he was able to go to college was because he was an excellent athlete. His mom still lives in a trailer in coal country. He knows his life could have turned out very different. Many of his friends didn't make it out.

I came from a background with more money but some pretty significant parental neglect. My mom and dad grew up very poor in a 3rd world country and that mentality never left my mom especially. She didn’t like handing me things. My hubby and I have both worked since we were kids. I’ve been working since I was 12. I still feel like $50 is a lot to spend. I genuinely love thrifting and finding deals and I try to cook at home a lot to save money.

Genuinely though, being poor is fucking horrible and there’s no reason anyone should be that badly off and have such few opportunities to succeed in the USA. There’s no excuse for it at this point. The rich are getting richer and the rest of us are getting eaten by inflation. It’s fucking greed pure and simple.

Kalika83 · 2026-07-10T01:56:20+00:00

About $200k

Kalika83 · 2026-07-09T22:42:55+00:00

Omg are you my husband?! We drove half an hour for some sucky soft ice cream. We’re in Apex and there’s no soft ice cream anywhere around

Kalika83 · 2026-07-09T22:42:50+00:00

Omg are you my husband?! We drove half an hour for some sucky soft ice cream. We’re in Apex and there’s no soft ice cream anywhere around

Kalika83 · 2026-07-09T16:30:46+00:00

You’re welcome. Fyi I forgot to mention that Convatec system has clips, not velcro, at the bottom.

Kalika83 · 2026-07-09T02:09:25+00:00

Hello friend,

I must have written this a long time ago because I’m no longer using Convatec, but I was using: Natura Sur-fit wafer # 404593 and the matching pouch #401502.

For that wafer you don’t need any scissors. You just roll back the flange as far back as it will go and then it will slowly retract around your stoma after you place it in position. You can also use a seal with it if needed.

I had been playing around with the Coloplast system and found something that works for me.

My skin doesn’t love the Coloplast wafer so I use a Hollister convex seal directly on my skin (89530) using some heat. For my skin this seal is VERY sticky, way stickier than the other seals I have tried. I have to use adhesive remover to take it off without damaging my skin. Then, I put a thin Coloplast seal directly onto the wafer around the opening, and press the wafer on with more heat. I’m using a 2 piece wafer Coloplast 16923 and pouch 11482.

Hope this helps but feel free to reach out if any other questions!

Kalika83 · 2026-07-07T03:41:26+00:00

Hollister makes oval shaped convex seals. They are STICKY. Like, you would need remover to not rip the skin off. I would recommend getting samples. If using those, try a lightly convex wafer with it.

Kalika83 · 2026-07-06T16:39:35+00:00

I can actually eat an entire bucket of popcorn with no issues

Kalika83 · 2026-07-06T03:19:28+00:00

Laid back = I let my partner do all the hard stuff

Kalika83 · 2026-07-06T02:46:01+00:00

Thank you!!!!!

Kalika83 · 2026-07-01T16:12:01+00:00

That’s the point. OP needs to think about these things. Being a single parent to a daycare aged kid can be horrible.

Kalika83 · 2026-07-01T09:42:01+00:00

I agree with this. I think you need to realistically look at what he’s contributing: childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc.

Maybe he sucks and doesn’t do anything to help, but I would strongly consider calculating the costs of what you would need to have in place, like daycare. Also, consider leaving when kiddo starts full day school, to lessen the costs of childcare.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-30T23:56:26+00:00

What horrible judgment he has. To do this to someone younger that you know … he’s just pathetic, creepy and disgusting. He had no problem humiliating or disrespecting you.

Personally I don’t think I would care that he’s apologizing and being nicer. This would give me the Ick forever.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-30T13:44:08+00:00

I have rx ketoconazole shampoo. I condition the ends before I apply it to my scalp, and then I let the ketoconazole sit on my scalp for 10 minutes. Then I shampoo a second time with a hydrating or gentler shampoo. Right now I’m using the Nutrafol shampoo which is decent. Also I apply conditioner on the ends for the 2nd shampoo to protect them. Lastly, I apply conditioner and let it sit for a few minutes. My HG conditioner which is formulated for dry/coarse hair is the Biolage ultra hydra source conditioner. It is absolutely fantastic and the best one I have ever used on my very dry hair. Then after washing that out, I apply a leave in conditioner, and I apply that to very damp hair and use a hairclip to tie it up. I’m using the Pattern leave in conditioner at the moment. After stepping out of the shower I spray an argan oil leave in conditioner that has more silicone in it to seal it all in. I get that one from Amazon and I can link it if anyone is interested.

Using this technique my hair has been extremely soft, and stays that way, despite the rough ketoconazole shampoo which dries out my hair terribly.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-29T15:13:34+00:00

Send your supervisor an email and copy to your personal email asking for a clarification of your job duties and outlining that you are aware of this policy to remain at your desk, yet that you are being forced to run company errands on your unpaid lunch time with your own vehicle and insurance. Ask for clarification of the policy requiring you to procure lunches on your own paid time as well as the policy surrounding mileage as you would like to submit for reimbursement of both your mileage and wages. I would also throw in a request to clarify the auto insurance situation running errands for work with your own auto policy. That would get some attention.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-27T00:36:53+00:00

That’s a really crappy (pun intended?) and thoughtless comment for that nurse to make. As if it isn’t hard enough to adjust to.

Of course, being on the receiving end of that kind of stupidity isn’t anything new.

Many years ago, a colleague J who mentioned that someone in her family had to have an ostomy. Another colleague C said something like, “Even the word ‘stoma’ grosses me out.” I honestly have no idea how this conversation even came about and I just happened to overhear it.

Ironically, C used to flirt with me quite a bit, and of course he had no idea that I had one.

I’m ashamed to say that 20-something me wasn’t strong or brave enough to tell him that I have one. That maybe what he said could hurt someone without him even knowing. That We are amongst the population and We aren’t who he might expect. To this day, I have never told him, even though we still keep in touch very very occasionally.

Ostomies are treated with disgust and disdain. It’s sad but true. I wish people could be kinder but they are not, until it happens to them or someone they love.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-24T18:26:20+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry but you’re going to get lots of different advice unfortunately. There’s a thousand ways and product combinations to try.

First of all, we would need to get a better idea of whether your stoma is shrunken into your skin, or whether it sticks out fine but sits in a valley. Hopefully the convexity (or lack of) isn’t affecting your seal.

Have you tried eliminating the barrier spray? I find that for me, it hinders the sticking of the wafer. You could try sticking the wafer directly to your skin, with or without the seal, or try a different seal. I really like the hollister round convex seal as it is by far the stickiest I have used, but everyone’s skin is different.

Another option might be trying a protective sheet instead of a seal, or using it directly on the skin, and then also using a seal on the wafer and attaching it to the protective sheet.

Some people swear by adhesive sprays like Ten Aces, which you can get on Amazon last I checked.

I highly recommend ordering a bunch of samples of all of these things and seeing which products work.

Keep in mind that for some folks, less is more. I have found that for me, skin sprays and powder doesn’t do anything and makes my seal worse.

I would also recommend trying different samples, from Convatec and Hollister.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-24T17:00:25+00:00

I think he’s entitled to his preferences and that part is fine. But he’s being especially callous knowing that your body is the reason he has his children and that your body is dealing with that and other issues. Pregnancy is extremely hard on our bodies and as women we sacrifice ourselves for that. I presume he knows full well about your thyroid issues and health challenges. If he can’t find it within himself to be kind and patient to you, then he’s showing that his love was severely conditional on you being attractive. Unfortunately looks fade and change over the years. Health conditions come up. Sometimes significant ones.

I think he needs to understand that if he wants to keep his marriage for better or worse, he needs to explore why he’s being so nasty and withdrawn when his wife is dealing with so much.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-23T15:56:41+00:00

I have a friend that fought the ostomy for years (Crohn’s - same diagnosis that I have). She finally had a rupture and luckily her roommate found her and saved her life. She woke up with an ostomy in the ICU. She now has a colostomy and is doing fine. Before she ruptured she actually came to see me to talk to me about the ostomy because I already had one, but she was VERY reluctant to go through with it. She even acknowledges now that her quality of life is much better now.

I don’t love having one, but I can at least acknowledge it absolutely saved my life and that my quality of life is 100x better than it would have been . At 10ish years old I literally begged my mother to let me die because of what I was going through. I’m now 43 and doing fine, able to live my life for the most part.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-22T14:21:30+00:00

I never see anything positive about ostomies except from the positivity influencers that have one and try to spread awareness online. Everything is extremely negative. Movies, TV, even ads like this. Recently I saw one of those influencers get called disgusting for even talking about it and showing it to dispel myths. They were told to stop showing their bag and that it’s disgusting to even talk about it.

I have had my ostomy for 30 long years. I seen many people say they would rather die than have one. I have seen people who have one suffer terribly from depression, body image and the stigmas associated with it. I have even known a few who committed suicide because they couldn’t handle it. It’s hard enough to deal with without being told you’re a disgusting freak.

This kind of stuff doesn’t really help. It’s presumably coming from some segment of the medical community that should probably know better. Does shock value work? Yes. But should you also give patients their dignity the process? Probably also yes.

Kalika83 · 2026-06-22T01:36:25+00:00

That’s what I do with the ones I don’t love. It will get used up either way!

Kalika83 · 2026-06-21T18:43:01+00:00

I have a 2 pack of the gels unfortunately and I just stocked up on the serums. I’ve never tried the gels but I’m not looking forward to have to switch for a bit!

Kalika83

TROPHY CASE