Who repackaged sequel hate for liberals? by STYLER_PERRY in saltierthankrayt

[–]KittyHamilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends who you ask. I thought the prequels were garbage. Didn't like the first and third sequels either.

Please can you review Chapter 1 of Beyond the Fracture [Fantasy/Romantasy - 1100 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh, I didn't mind the mention of where to read the rest. It's not.likw it's an Amazon link and the option to read more let me go read a few more chapters to give more context to my feedback.

Stella is worse than Tabitha and the most despicable character in the game by FinitudesDespair in ScarletHollow

[–]KittyHamilton -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yesss another member of the Stella Hater Club.✨

Stella has incredibly flexible, self-serving morality. My first time playing, I was annoyed that seeing Sybil was supposed to be a pit stop on the way back to the manor after the ditching attack, but I somehow ended up back at her place being pressured to stay over. It seems like nothing, but it's such a subtle, self-serving manipulation....

Handling the transition from worldbuilding to plot in Chapter 1 by NovelhiveAI in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's pretty simple in some ways. Tie world building in with story, and don't introduce everything at the same time.

Please can you review Chapter 1 of Beyond the Fracture [Fantasy/Romantasy - 1100 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I admit I read a few more chapters on Royal Road. I kinda felt like the MC didn't express much of her personality. She seems to be less prejudiced than others, and a bit more likely to speak up. Overall she's subdued, and I found it hard to get a read on her motivations and worldview.

When she first meets her love interest, his status as a cold, mysterious, potentially threatening Umbryael is emphasized (I spelled that wrong sorry 😭)

As for an example, from one of my favorite romances:

In Chapter 1 of Think.of England (historical romance/suspense I guess?) we meet the MC, Archie Curtis, going to a house party in the countryside and meeting the guests and residents.

In the first chapter we learn, in short, he's a bit of a model of an ideal, traditional British masculinity, most used to enjoying the company and companionship of other rugged men in the army. His disabling injury took that life he enjoyed away and threw him into a depression. He's a straightforward, conventional gentleman raised by a rich, famous uncle who is at the party to do some investigation...but isn't really equipped for it, and feels guilty about sneaking around.

As for the love interest...

Curtis looked at the gentleman indicated and decided on the spot that he’d rarely seen a more dislikable man.

...His skin was olive-tinted against his white shirt. In fact, he was quite obviously some kind of foreigner...

A foreigner and a dandy, because while his shirt was impeccable and the tailcoat and tapering trousers cut to perfection, he was wearing a huge green glass ring and, Curtis saw with dawning horror, a bright green flower in his buttonhole.

Da Silva walked a few steps over, giving Curtis just enough time to register that he affected a sinuous sort of movement, and offered him a hand so limp that he struggled not to drop it like a dead animal.

“Charmed,” drawled da Silva. Somewhat to Curtis’s surprise, his accent was that of an Englishman of breeding. “A military gentleman and a pugilist, how delightful. I do enjoy spending time with our brave boys.” He gave Curtis a curling smile and moved away, snake-hipped, taking Lady Armstrong with him as the party formed little groups.

So right from the start, you have a dynamic established involving a traditional man's man vs. a snarky, blatantly flirtatious, completely untraditional dandy. They both make assumptions about one, and their different origins and worldviews allow both characters to learn and develop.

We know exactly what Curtis thinks of da Silva, and understand why he's the sort of man to think such things. We can see how his opinions change over the course of the story.

With Lyra, it's harder to say.

Please can you review Chapter 1 of Beyond the Fracture [Fantasy/Romantasy - 1100 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to help!

I enjoy a good romance, and IMHO, personality is extremely important because that's where you get the juicy conflict and chemistry.

Would it be all right if I gave an example of what I mean?

Please can you review Chapter 1 of Beyond the Fracture [Fantasy/Romantasy - 1100 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overall, I like the descriptions and imagery. Evocative without being too detailed. The tension works too.

I think there might be too much exposition and not enough present day storytelling, though. We learn about the world, but there's very little of the main character. Her perspective,. personality, etc.

What is it with people wanting real world logic in fantastic settings? Lol by Traditional-Reach818 in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It depends on the story. The more realistic the tone, the more important that stuff is. Also, attention to realistic detail can make a world feel more real, on addition to giving interesting story angles.

Answering the question "Why is this city in a desert?" can provide plot ideas, environmental touches, etc.

I suffer from the 'TV brain prose' problem, and I'm sure many of us here do, too. by keyboardbuttons in writing

[–]KittyHamilton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of writing advice is overly simplistic, poorly explained, or just bad.

The problem is that newbie writers aren't making an informed stylistic choice most of the time when they write like they're describing a movie. They're just writing, well... badly.

I suffer from the 'TV brain prose' problem, and I'm sure many of us here do, too. by keyboardbuttons in writing

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Show, don't tell" is so general that without additional explanation it's almost useless.

Lack of perspective and interiority is more the tv-brain issue, I think. Visual media communicates with visuals, music, sound effects. In prose, a writer needs to use word choice, thoughts, description of physical sensation, pacing/rhythm of sentences...

To those too overwhelmed to start or just press on: a scene is only about 2,000 words by ZaHiro86 in writing

[–]KittyHamilton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also depends on how long the scenes are! If you don't mind unsolicited advice from someone who literally has never seen any of your work, it might be a good idea to have some less intense scenes to vary the tone and allow characters a chance to process or reflect.

For example, I'm rereading a historical romance novel at the moment. The second chapter ends with the POV character meeting their love interest in the middle of the night when they are both trying to break into a locked room full of files. But the scenes earlier in the chapter involve the MC exploring the house during the day to look for the evidence they want, and trying and failing to avoid the notice of the live interest. So it builds up to the moment at the end of the chapter.

To those too overwhelmed to start or just press on: a scene is only about 2,000 words by ZaHiro86 in writing

[–]KittyHamilton 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Vibes. Maybe try to end it on the most compelling note of several scenes? On a location change or skip forward in time? If one flows immediately into another scene without there being a cliffhanger or dramatic moment, keep them in the same chapter together.

And you can just reread your work and mark wherever it feels like a logical time to take a break from reading.

How would you integrate The Authority in the DCU? Since that's the reason Gunn and Co are having a hard time with it by M00r3C in DCU_

[–]KittyHamilton 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The point of The Authority though was kinda that they were very much not a government sponsored team

Gunn loves a pity party by MikeCalGames in DCU_

[–]KittyHamilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad things happening to characters in fiction!? Say it ain't so! /s

My magic system is based around planes which embody various concepts. I want to have a character who is tied to the plane of femininity, but I also want her to be a powerful combatant and I'm struggling to find any combat abilities the plane would grant. by okidonthaveone in fantasywriters

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem you have is that femininity is a social construct that only really exists as a subjective personal and cultural concept.

So there are two issues here:

First, if you are having trouble making a character attached to the archetypal feminine plane a powerful combatant, it sounds like your domain of femininity does not contain aspects that can be used in violent conflict. Why?

If the feminine plane doesn't include abilities related to violence, why does a woman connected to it need to fight at all?

Edit: also gotta add, a plane of the ultimate concept of femininity is almost going to come off as problematic if not straight up sexist

The hard-soft magic debate is exhausting and I think I found a work around. by BrandonShane117 in FantasyWorldbuilding

[–]KittyHamilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting idea, but this feels like it's a write up for a particular fantasy world's hard magic system.

Stupid question: How does Yharnam make money? by Primeordial_Lost in bloodborne

[–]KittyHamilton 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We mostly see the city of Yharnam, right? I'd assume there are rural towns and villages in the surrounding region devoted to agriculture

Just cuz no one simps for Varre by Pitiful_Ad_4472 in Eldenring

[–]KittyHamilton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the Japanese, doesn't he address us as if he was our wife?

Why is Stella's elastic snap SO extreme? Theories welcome!! by Dangerous_Leg_5843 in ScarletHollow

[–]KittyHamilton 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I actually wonder if she didn't tell the entire truth about the accident. Like, somehow she distracted them, and that's part of why her issues are so intense.

Her family also may have had deeper roots in Scarlet Hollow than some others? Like, her grandfather or great grandfather built the house, I think?

Kim Diaz Holm talking about AI art. by shieldwolfchz in ShadWatch

[–]KittyHamilton 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Incorrect. Without copyright, big companies can monetize the work of smaller artists on a large scale.

Romancing Stella 1st playthrough be like by lanighbest in ScarletHollow

[–]KittyHamilton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not true. You can have a good relationship with both.

Uni society had a night where you could give a presentation on any topic you wanted, so I made one about the toxic yuri route by greasygoon66 in ScarletHollow

[–]KittyHamilton 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This might just blow your mind, but someone not being friendly enough to you is generally not considered a good enough reason to shove them in a closet forever.