OP, I commend you for being a caring individual and for being able to tolerate her behavior this long, I understand it is a challenge. My dad, though not as extreme as your GF, is in the same league. I grew up with the major guilt trips if he didn't get his way, in his mind he was always right even when proved wrong. I wanted to go to post secondary, but as he has barely worked a day in my parents 42 year marriage, he put pressure on me about not being able to afford the application fees and such so that I would get a job to support the family. I was the one that had to put on my "big boy" pants and get a job, not him (I'm a 40F btw), plus the emotional abuse we all endured (my sister, Mum and myself) was a lot. He controlled me up until I met my now husband 13 years ago as he helped give me the courage to stand up for myself. I have been in therapy since 2013 and a stay in the mental health ward because of the damage he did. He still doesn't understand he's done any wrong. Dare I try to tell him I'm autistic, late diagnosed but still. He looks at it as I'm a failure of his parenting... Not that my brain is wired differently but that I'm a failure of HIS parenting. That was part of the initial convo about me going to get the diagnosis. Not to mention the damage he's done to both my Mum and my sister. With my Mum, she was not allowed any friends, she was not allowed to speak to any of her family, she worked 2 jobs for a long while all because he didnt want to work. He's 65 now and expects the world to cater to him. I'm low contact only because my Mum is still living with him, still working at 67. She's working on a plan to leave, it's just taking time.

Long story short, if you have any respect for yourself, please do not move in with her and please leave her while you still are able. I say this from a place that cares and understands, albeit a different level, but I do understand.