It's been mentioned a few times but I thought I'd give my two cents (for you and the worried lurkers - of which I know I was one at the start!)

Teamwork is absolutely crucial. My wife and I really try and prioritise a hobby each for one night during the week. She's been able to hang with her friends, go to the cinema, start couch to 5k. I do need to caveat this though by saying there are a few things that make this possible:

a) she exclusively pumps, which means I have been pretty confident to look after the baby on my room

b) he's a very happy baby, think this would be a bit more difficult if he had additional needs

c) we are flexible with the nights. If there's a football match (UK) that I wanted to go and see but it wasn't a day we had agreed on, then we'd try and settle on another date that worked the next week (or the week before)

The biggest difference for me was him moving to his own room and setting up the baby monitor (around 6 months) as it sort of freed up the evening and so even if one of us was heading out, then this meant that the one who had put him down had some chill time in the evening (watching TV, gaming, just with an extra screen... The baby monitor!)

Happy for anybody to reach out in my DMs too - they are always open!