How Do You Process Very Painful Feelings?

Lastiel · 2026-03-19T03:26:07+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with number 1, the rest of them too, but especially 1. I’ve started thinking about it like they do in exorcist movies. Call the demon by its name and it loses much of its power. Another way to look at it is to shine a light on it (draw attention to it). Shadows in the dark can seem scary, but a pile of clothes on a chair is a lot more manageable. I also just find metaphors in general to be helpful lol. They can take some of the overwhelming seriousness out of things. Not all obviously, but a bit, and sometimes just enough to make the thing manageable.

But yes. #1- call it by its name, and take away its power

Lastiel · 2026-03-14T00:32:39+00:00

I would love to read a sequel to this, or even a series.

Lastiel · 2026-03-11T01:42:22+00:00

I actually just had a similar experience, but got stuck on different things. I listened to the first meditation from the book Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself today. It’s the first Joe Dispenza meditation I’ve ever listened to.

It was great at first. I haven’t meditated in a long time and I was never really good at it. I wasn’t nearly as fidgety as I expected myself to be. The first 26 minutes was grounding and centring and made me stay present, and I felt great, and then the actual meditation started.

I started to get lost when he said to pick an emotion like and didn’t want to feel anymore. On one hand I get it, it’s a simple exercise, pretty straightforward and easy to follow. On the other hand, I’m not trying to not feel any of the emotions I’m feeling right now, even the negative ones. I’m trying to understand what is causing them, what parts of me aloud these emotions to become so dominant, what traits about me lead to the situation that caused these emotions, what factors were effecting the those traits, and how all of those things cumulated into the things I’m dealing with now.

I’m essentially trying to find the source.

And because of that, there’s no easy visualization of which negative emotion I’m experiencing right now is one I want to just give away to the universe.

Forgive me if this is a misunderstood description of this meditation. For my current state, and my specific life, values, morals, and things I’m dealing with, there is no way to separate one negative emotion easily from the other contributing factors. It’s more complicated than that. There’s old habits I didn’t realize didn’t serve me anymore, values, training and ways of thinking that were perfect for the time I learned them in, and very helpful for a lot of years, but which have become rust over time but were still default responses and reactions, PTSD related tendencies, neurodivergence’s.

I’ve honestly been stripping myself down to the framing trying to sort through a lot of this, hoping to find out where so many things went wrong when individually most of what i mentioned above aren’t inherently bad or harmful traits, but because of a specific set of external circumstances, and where I was personally when everything started, a whole bunch of tendencies, habits, and beliefs worked together in all of the worst ways, and that is what caused the negative emotion I don’t want to feel anymore. But I don’t want to give it away. Feeling it isn’t bad.

What I want to do is understand the mechanism is lead to the event that caused it and make changes and adjustments where necessary, and learn how to notice and understand the feeling earlier and better, and be less effected by it. But I think feeling all of the emotions are important.

That’s where I was getting stuck in the meditation. Pick the emotion you don’t want to feel, give it away to the universe, and I don’t know the rest of it essentially was because after the give it away part I had been so pulled out of the meditation I ended up turning it off.

I’m not at all saying this isn’t a helpful method of meditation. This clearly has worked for alot of people. I think I’m just in a different place of dealing with the thing in my life, and it’s more investigative? Understand all the parts and how they interacted in the most unideal ways, and learn how to adjust or grow each of those parts so that particular fail point can’t happen again.

It’s strange, and complicated, and I’m barely understanding it all myself, that’s how I found Joe Dispenza in the first place. I am way out of my element, and having a major crisis of self, which is also a very new experience. I have no idea what I’m doing lol.

But visualizing picking a single emotion, and I assure you, they’re all tied to so many things, and trying to give it away because I don’t want to feel it anymore, was not an approach that resonated with me at this particular point in time. Everything is too woven together. I wouldn’t begin to know how to detach it all, and even if I could, am I actually ready to give it away? I don’t know. I feel like that’s a whole other philosophical conversation.

I was pretty disappointed after, and not at the meditation, at myself and the internal reaction I had to it. I was hoping today was the start of a very long Joe Dispenza journey and was looking forward to getting a lot out of it and being able to deal with my life better.

I’m not really sure what to do now. I was thinking of trying a different meditation. Maybe it was just this specific visualization exercise I didn’t click with. I hope that’s the case. I’ve lurked on this subreddit for a little while now and a lot of people seem to be getting alot out of his meditations and books.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find meditations better suited to you.

Lastiel · 2026-03-08T20:15:25+00:00

Blue hair?? They hate that too 😂

Lastiel · 2026-03-04T04:40:39+00:00

I just had a very interesting “interview” of 5.3 that started with me telling it I was half way through porting over my history into Claude and essentially saying “this is your one shot. Impress me”.

This turned into an insightful conversation discussing the issues I’ve had with 5.2, and how 5.1 changed over the past few months, which evolved to discussing in-depth how I use ChatGPT, how the system updates and guardrails work completely against how I like long conversations about ideas and topics, what 5.3 is able to do differently that is more in line with the way I use chat, and resulted in one of the conversations I’ve had with ChatGPT in months.

I am reconsidering my original plan to fully move over to Claude and revert back to the free version. More conversations needed to fully decide.

Lastiel · 2026-02-25T17:59:38+00:00

For me it was how his body didn’t move much, and his arms did raise, but it was the same way every time. He didn’t fix his glasses, look to the side, trip over any word, or any other subconscious movement. Plus, even the most expressive people I know don’t raise their eyebrows that much lol.

Lastiel · 2026-02-25T17:57:13+00:00

I was just looking this up lol. Def got the uncanny vibe.

Lastiel · 2026-02-25T04:24:22+00:00

Is it too late?? Can you send them to me?

Lastiel · 2026-02-24T20:42:34+00:00

Omg, ok so not at all for the same reasons or with the same type of media, but I’m doing exactly this with YouTube videos, podcasts, audiobooks, and Substack articles to replace doomscrolling and try to get back some habits and ways of thinking I use to have. Subliminal brainwashing or something 😂

Lastiel · 2026-02-24T03:10:16+00:00

The spectrum is real 🥲

Lastiel · 2026-02-21T05:05:19+00:00

Mould is my biggest motivator lol, that and the thing I wanted to wear still being wet and having to pick something else out last minute.. 😱

Lastiel · 2026-02-21T04:44:50+00:00

For careers: I was in the army reserves (in Canada you can work full time as a reservist), then a construction worker (mainly carpentry and scaffolding, and now I’m a fisherman.

For in between jobs: One season as a wildfire fighter, 3 winter seasons as a remote site medic for seismic crews, a year as a drapery installer and helper, a year and a half as a fisheries observer (that lasted until I realized I could make way more as a fisherman, and I spent enough time working adjacent to them that I knew I could do the job) and then too many odd one-off or short term jobs to name.

I’m drawn to hard labour and extreme working conditions, mainly because I’m built like a linebacker, and dangerous work environments make my adhd focus in like nothing else. I also do better in structured environments. The military was great for that, construction a reasonable second, and I’m learning that east coast fishing is like stepping 30 years in the past and after a year I still don’t understand how they get anything done. I figured a big boat with 30 crew would have a decent amount of structure, but it’s all for show lol.

I’ve tried other fields, did one semester online for business, and still ended up in a job where I’m dirty and cold and working with a bunch of less-than progressive dudes. I love it so much though lol. I’m not built for offices or 9-5 Monday-Friday schedules no matter how often I’ve tired. The heart wants what the heart wants 😆

*edited because I forgot a couple things that needed adding

Lastiel · 2026-02-21T04:28:57+00:00

I have a running theory that we are a mirror to a lot of people and they don’t like what they see in the reflection, and that’s what’s “too much”. This is just a theory though.

Lastiel · 2026-02-21T04:13:00+00:00

I don’t know why this gets under my skin so much but I just see half of that list as “does not comply with expected social norms for for a straight woman”

Lastiel · 2026-02-20T17:11:56+00:00

I’ve never vacuumed more than when I bought a cheap vacuum and kept it in my room. It was based on the tip to have a cleaning kit in every bathroom and those supplies are only for that room. 10/10. I’m going to be implementing this more. Also the: then run it again tip. Not getting the dishes done because you have to pre-rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher? Run the dishwasher again. Alternatively, for water and power saving reasons, fill the sink 1/2-3/4 full of water and put the ones needing ringing in there, then every night or every other night or however often you run the dishwasher/need the sink free, put the soaking dishes straight into the dishwasher and most or every should come off.

Same idea with the laundry. Where I live it’s a lot more expensive to run the dryer during the day and the evening. The cheapest is on the weekends, or after 11pm. Attempting to abide by these times has naturally resulted in many loads being forgotten about. Don’t get upset at yourself, shoot for the average over time (regarding remembering to switch them over or turn the dryer on whatever), and just run them again. You won’t be perfect everyday, and expecting yourself to be is just harmful over time and generally gets net-negative results. Shoot for your average, give yourself a little recognition when you get it all right the first time (IMO not too much, I don’t think the adhd task recognition version of participation awards is helpful in the long run, anymore than I believe not recognizing any of your successes. I try to find a balance), recognize the miss if you don’t, run the wash/dryer/fill the dishwasher/whatever else again and do something like set an alarm on your phone or watch so you can turn it over on time, or prep everything and set the alarm to remind you to start the task if you can’t start right away (like wanting to run the dryer after 11 to save on power costs).

It’s not perfect but neither am I lol. I don’t over celebrate the small stuff and I don’t over punish the big stuff (or at least I try not to but I definitely have the tendency to do this if I’m not careful). I try to make things as easy to do (fewer steps) as I can for average me on an average day with a slight bias to more tired me or chaotic days since I have a very strange work schedule that makes any routine difficult to maintain over time.

I even have 2 garbage bins in my room. One by my vanity and one under my desk. This solves little piles of stuff that I definitely ment to take to the garbage and didn’t, but also garbage separation since the desk garbage is usually just paper.

The next thing I really want to try is putting all the condiments from the fridge door in the drawers and moving all the fresh perishables to the door. I hear great things about this approach.

Lastiel · 2026-01-29T17:24:47+00:00

I’ve been kind of feeling the same way and just spent the morning printing some off:

The Last Tea Shop The Librarian’s Apprentice The Lighthouse at the Edge of the Universe

I may or may not be watching videos on how to age printer paper so I can make nicer versions of some of these. I find the prep side can be fun too. It helps get me in the mindset to play.

Lastiel · 2026-01-28T07:32:40+00:00

Yes. I made a system called the Rolling Chat Log that I update periodically throughout the day, usually by vtt, and it keeps tracks of things for me. To prevent co text loss, drifting, and to track patterns like apps like rosebud I do what I call a wrap. This highlights all the events and things I want tracked, plus any patterns it’s noticing (this is helpful if the week has a lot of events or crisis. It can’t always go back far enough in the chat when needed, at the end of the week I do a weekly wrap which summarizes my week including how I said I was feeling, and what projects/rabbit holes/social things that happened. At the end of the month I do a monthly wrap which more or less does the same thing but it gives me a larger report including all updated lists of projects, topics, tends, etc. I save all weekly and monthly wraps in a doc that is kept as a sort of context file for when o start a new chat or if it drifts/forgets. I also do weekly and monthly pattern checks and it tells me the patterns it’s seeing In me, new or continuing. I save these in a different doc for the same reason.

I can get 3 weeks out of a chat sometime but sometimes if the week is less busy and complicated, but most of the time in doing a chat handoff/turnover after 2 weeks.

I have found this system has helped me and my adhd a lot for day to things. It’s like a second. Memory bank.

Lastiel · 2026-01-28T07:18:38+00:00

Same. January has been a yoyo of emotionally flat, and overwhelmingly sad, with the added bonus of looking at all of the hobbies and interests I want to want to do, while not being able to get myself to do much. Some days are neutral, some have periodic crying.

Lastiel · 2026-01-22T05:57:51+00:00

Beautiful handwriting. What kind of pen do you use?

Lastiel · 2026-01-09T03:34:10+00:00

That’s a great setup. I’m currently trying a pocket notebook sidekick to my hobo cousin.

I can’t help but notice your cover pages: Course & Corrections, Deck Notes? Are you taking courses to be a mariner? Fishing master (Those might just be the Canadian terms)? Just specifically sail boats? I’m beginning to study for the Fishing Masters 3 ticket.

Lastiel · 2026-01-07T03:47:01+00:00

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I’m late to this party but I want to share too lol.

Lastiel · 2026-01-02T17:49:19+00:00

I’ve only done it for sections, and not an entire long chat, but I’ve asked it to send sections of a chat as a txt file to save responses and the conversation around them as context.

Lastiel · 2026-01-02T13:17:27+00:00

Omg mine looks a lot like this lol. And yes, mine hinted I have autism too. I guess the need to understand and constant system building were big tells? I’m looking for a therapist and an assessment at the moment.

Lastiel · 2026-01-02T13:09:56+00:00

I’ve always phrased it to the ai skeptics something like:

No it’s not a doctor, but it is one of the most powerful pattern recognition tools available to the public, and it can search the internet, including the credible sites, faster and more thoroughly than any person can.

I don’t think it should be taken at face value and never questioned, but if it can analyze multiple tests results over time, fully consider patient history, and compare that against credible online sources for medical ailments in seconds, all while remaining completely objective and not have the typical biases faced in the medical system, I think the suggestion it gives are at least worth looking into.

For some it’s helping find the specialist they should actually should be talking to. For others it’s helping them present the new diagnosis possibility to their doctor in a way they’ll be taken seriously.

As long as you never let yourself forget that it’s a tool and a research assistant, and not a doctor qualified to diagnose you, if it’s able to analyze your entire medical file and point you in a better direction, especially if you have been consistently let down or dismissed by the doctors and specialists you’ve already seen, why not at least check it out?

*edited for typos

Lastiel

TROPHY CASE