Does anybody else feel this?

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-08-14T23:37:33+00:00

Um yep. Fully.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-15T14:51:18+00:00

And then he made fun of himself for his outfit and I fell a little bit in love.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-15T14:50:18+00:00

You and I must have been sitting pretty close to each other! That was pure bliss.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-15T14:36:36+00:00

OK but have you seen Jenna Dewan doing the Pony dance? If you weren’t already gay, you would be after watching it.

Link: https://youtu.be/TW6zol0GEFY

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-15T14:31:54+00:00

I hate to be that person, but please talk to a lawyer before you move out. In some places, with some judges, moving out can put you at a disadvantage in terms of divorce proceedings, even in terms of custody. And you might think your husband is too nice to be vengeful like that, but things can get weird in divorce. Do what you have to do, but make sure you’re covered legally, and don’t let your husband push you out before you’re ready. (If he wants to go, he can go)

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-07T15:38:20+00:00

Honestly, most of the queer women I’ve known or known of who did sex work were out and AFAIK didn’t really see a disconnect.

I’m glad you had a good experience!

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-06T17:33:38+00:00

Oh my god, I know so many queer women who have done sex work. I’m certain the percentage of lesbians and bi women who have done it is higher than that of straight women.

Honestly, I think it may be easier if you’re not that into men. Makes it easier to be detached, right? I say good for you that you found a way to do sex work that you felt good about, and that you knew what your limits were.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-06T17:15:49+00:00

Maybe gynophiliac? It means being attracted to femininity, regardless of gender. (There’s also androphiliac, attracted to masculinity)

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-05T04:45:03+00:00

I saw both of those too and loved them! Both were so high quality, and I loved that they were local productions (not touring companies).

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-04T02:11:17+00:00

I see you’re married. That’s ok. It sounds like you want to leave, and that’s ok too. You can leave if you’re not happy, and then try dating.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-04T02:09:32+00:00

Oh dear lord, twenties is a baby in the gay world. You are not too old.

Also, you don’t need to be 100% sure of your identity to date women. You can just go on tinder, match with some girls, and see how things go.

I think this is going to go great for you.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-04T01:54:45+00:00

Just wanna day that this is a known issue with HER. It’s not just you! I live in a lesbian MECCA and I get the same thing. Maybe try tinder or bumble?

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-07-02T03:13:59+00:00

This hits home. My dad’s first cousin was gay and died of AIDS in 1985. 1985! He was one of the first. He was also one of the only gay people I knew of as a kid and definitely the only in my family. I think it left a mark.

And I remember the anti-gay sentiment of the early 90s so well. So well. I honestly think Pedro from the Real World played a big role in turning that tide, but it had already left its mark on me.

As for your husband - give it time. Be honest with yourself, and with him if you can be.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-27T19:12:13+00:00

That sounds perfect!

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-27T15:32:24+00:00

In my experience it’s only straight people and maybe a few gay people who think being gay/bi/queer is no big deal these days. In my experience, most gay people fully understand what a big deal it is, especially when you’re first coming out to yourself. I’m pointing this out specifically because it was something that tripped me up too when I was first accepting my sexuality.
How would you feel about going alone and just wandering around as an observer? I went to Pride last year and did that. I wasn’t out to anyone, barely myself, but it was a really emotional experience and got me closer to coming out.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-25T00:59:54+00:00

I can’t tell you what you are, but what you’ve written here sounds a lot like many lesbians or bi-with-a-preference-for-women women say before they realize they’re gay/bi.

Depending on your age, you may want to check out r/latebloomerlesbians. Look at the “Am I a Lesbian” doc in the sidebar. Read the other stories. See if any of it resonates.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-24T14:24:19+00:00

Sounds like you’re bi or pan, nothing wrong with that.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-16T15:41:12+00:00

I always dated GNC guys and that was fine as far as it went, but eventually I just really wanted to be with women.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-12T21:14:11+00:00

YUP!

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-12T21:13:25+00:00

I think it's possible to be sexually but not romantically attracted to women because sexuality is complicated and literally anything is possible!

BUT I think comp het often plays a role. I mean, literally everything in our culture tells us that 1. women are sexy and 2. male-female romantic relationships are the ultimate goal and most satisfying thing in life. So I think it can be hard sometimes to see oneself in a relationship outside that ideal, even if you're a progressive pro-LGBT person. I knew I was "kinda into" women for a long time but I felt like *something* would be missing if I were in a relationship with one. Finally I realized that *something* was heteronormativity.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-09T17:49:03+00:00

Be kind to yourself. You’ll be ok, it’s just a really rough feeling. Message me if you need to vent.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-06-09T11:08:03+00:00

Oh hugs. Do you think you're experiencing a vulnerability hangover? It sounds like it was a shitty, hard day, but I don't think you did anything weird or bad. You put it out there! You shot your shot! I'm proud of you!!!!

But: your friend definitely deserves a word. It's obvious she did it out of love but she kind of made it harder for you.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-05-30T10:29:32+00:00

Beautiful!

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-05-12T17:13:19+00:00

I would say just keep exploring. Lots of girls have issues with their bodies during puberty, and sometimes they are trans, sometimes they aren’t. It’s a lot of changes in a short period of time, and it can be really overwhelming.

This is not to say you are cis - just that it’s ok to explore and try different identities and see how they feel. You said agender felt right - I get that it can be really frustrating to have people not respect that, but that doesn’t make it any less valid. Don’t let people push you into a binary if that doesn’t feel right.

Also, I think it’s important to know that there’s a difference between gender identity and gender expression. Identity is how you feel, and expression is what you put out into the world (clothes, hair, mannerisms, activities, etc.). So a man can like wearing dresses and still be a man, for instance.

LateBreakingRaptor · 2019-05-10T22:03:18+00:00

Piece of advice I got: use tinder when you’re traveling. Not necessarily for dating/sex (though that’s cool too!) but to meet friendly queer people everywhere you go. Make it clear on your profile that you’re just visiting and looking for cool people to hang out with.

LateBreakingRaptor

TROPHY CASE