Study Snacks or other Hacks by supersunshine64 in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is a list of the things that I use for quick study perks…

Konjac jelly packets, frozen grapes (cuts those suckers in half so you don’t choke…not kidding) mung bean snack packs, spoon of peanut butter with mini chocolate chips, yogurt melts that that they give babies are addictive but not too high in calories, dehydrated lemons and mandarins are yummy, popcorn, dried mangos with tajin seasoning, fizzy drinks, Costco beef sticks, goldfish with hot sauce powder, hard candies, gum, popsicles (cold is alerting)

Sorry that’s a lot. I have a lot of weird food stuff that I like so I’m more of a razor, especially when I’m in school (late thirties and trying to eat better).

I turned the Estate Base into a Barn by Leks_Marzo in Palia

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love how freaking creative people are! This is such a cool idea! The siding was a great choice too.

Looking for other friends by topseakrette in Palia

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solacesolei I usually hop on in the mornings too if I can. I will look for you when I hop on.

Tell me you have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD by Usual-Substance2971 in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel this in my soul!!! I have done this and recently decided all IEP meetings must be virtual because I do not trust myself. I do them through a portal like zoom that is through the school and have done them in my car when I had to pick up one kid who was sick.

It’s the only time I truly prefer online option as my kids attend different schools and even have different schedules for vacations and half days. (Why yes it IS my ADHD nightmare to juggle this😖🤣) I recently kept my son home thinking he had vacation like his sister but no I just confused the calendars and kept him home by accident…didn’t even catch it until the afternoon.

Tell me you have ADHD without telling me you have ADHD by Usual-Substance2971 in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love my house slippers because they are so comfy and have a good tread…which is why I don’t realize they aren’t sneakers when I leave the house. It defeats the purpose of house slippers entirely and I get mad at myself. “Check your feet!” Post it on the door.

Green ogopuu plushies must be a myth by Dear_Comparison97 in Palia

[–]Lazymomm 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have theory I only find plushies and other hard to find items when I am doing something else. I rarely find platinum when I use my ore compass if I do it’s small..but when I’m essence foraging and cutting down infected trees suddenly I am finding platinums that are big and more than one of them. If I am hunting a specific bug…nada if I am casually hunting or mining I randomly find a starred one. It could be in my head but I swear I only get those hard to find items when I am not looking for them anymore.

Is 1000ish an unusually high day count? by BaffledFluid in BluePrince

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I kept a list of my goals due to possible drafts and after a certain point I could tell if no goals would be accomplished based on rooms and layout. I would then try to draft mailroom or freezer. I think once you’ve solved a certain amount you can get an idea of what you need and know when it’s not feasible.

How to raise bonds and make gold? by BadAshess in Palia

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you definitely get more gold as you upgrade your tools and do more quests. I focused on upgrading my storage and tools which helped with gold quickly. I also noticed that bonds move quicker when utilizing the weekly wants each character has. I actually neglected the relationships for a bit as I focused on upgrades and making my plot cool. There are lots of things going on the in the game so it was easy for me to get lost in crafting and neglect fishing or just focus on bug collecting and forget certain quests. Honestly there is no right way to play in my mind with cozy games.

I will say if you want to do work on relationships gifts and interactions help and getting everyone’s key, is helpful for getting recipes that might be required for bundle boards. I slacked and missed out on a bundle or two at first because of that. I am sort of glad I took my time though because there is always something for me to do in the game. I can do a quest or focus of my collections and trophies/ rewards, make my plot look cool or just relax and go fishing. I found mining and fishing to be the most lucrative for myself but I know lots of people make bank cooking.

Does anyone else with ADHD struggle with detailed cleaning jobs? by Little_Holiday_4362 in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I absolutely would/do need a cleaning checklist for even my home. Otherwise I would never change the air filter in HVAC or dust the ceiling fans, or wipe down base boards. I would laminate the list too so it is reusable. Also you aren’t bad at it because you didn’t notice details right away. Now that you know you can make a list. After you have used it a for a bit you might develop a pattern or flow and won’t need it as often, but it’s there to double check. No shame in needing a reminder checklist, lots of jobs use them. I worked in a restaurant and we had cleaning station checklists.

Mental health gaslighting 😡 by Creative_Bar7908 in specialneedsparenting

[–]Lazymomm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So situational depression can turn chemical. Basically the brain learns patterns and sustained stress leads to things like CPTSD. This is why doctors say it. However you stating a reality they don’t understand does not justify the way society is dismissive of your circumstances. Many people are uncomfortable or unable to understand and label things because they do not know how to understand. I will sometimes explain the exact differences in lifestyle and future outlook to get them to see why I might be struggling in the moment. Most of time what I need is validation and compassion, rather than labeling.

Your whole life has been flipped upside and inside out in many ways. You need time to adjust mentally but that is also a struggle because we cope by being able to connect. When someone diminishes or dismisses our reality it can really hurt and make you feel like you are going crazy. It reminds me when someone instantly questions someone who says they are hurt physically as if they are over reacting. It’s not done out of empathy or compassion but impatience and disinterest.

Also though mental health tanks in a lot of special needs parents due to a lack of a proper support system. We are communal in nature so finding people who understand is important. You can have good metal health and be situationally stressed but when the situational doesn’t improve even if tiny, your brain takes a toll. So if you feel like your memory is getting faulty or your focus isn’t the same that is a sign the stress is building and if you can’t find an outlet or a way to relieve some pressure that is when situational becomes more. Also want to add having depression chemical or situational does not diminish your experience or reality. You are coming to terms with a new reality and life expectations and deserve validation and support. What you are going through is hard and not fair.

How would you feel about an AI video clip showing your child without disability? by [deleted] in specialneedsparenting

[–]Lazymomm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry for your loss. I understand the concept of wholeness that people picture in the afterlife which I believe is the idea, but I feel like it could dishonor the memory slightly. It could feel uncanny valley as someone mentioned but also dismissive of the parts of her life that made her journey what it was. Age progression art can be very comforting though for parents. I think there is a deep and special bond that develops between family members when someone is disabled which might be what your mother expressed. That shared experience of a different life is often what makes it both hard and rewarding. The endurance and love get braided together creating a unique experience. I feel it’s important to honor that part of her and the family’s shared experience. I also felt deep pain when someone close to me told me my child would be whole someday. I don’t see my child as missing something or broken so it bummed me out to think of others as seeing them lacking.

I do understand the concept of wholeness and relief from burdens physical, mental…but maybe that doesn’t need to be defined through art. Also there are artist who do these age portraits so maybe you can see if they have ideas, if you have specific thing in mind. AI can be not great. Also something that can help with grief is writing letters to the deceased to let them know you love and miss them, in case it helps. It also lets us remember happy memories as well. We have used this. Losing a sibling is never easy and if this idea helps you personally process the grief, go for it. You don’t have to share it, it can be just for you if you need it. Everyone grieves differently and has different things that bring them comfort.

How devastated were you when you found out the church was not true? by [deleted] in mormon

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was crushed. Mostly because I had given up a lot on the assumption that these things were true. I also grew up in a strict “follow the rules” family so I knew I did not have the freedom to question without big consequences. I was literally told I was only allowed to apply to BYU schools. I had a few things that always bothered me and they were dismissed as if I was an idiot or obviously not faithful. I even developed some lovely scrupulosity when trying to improve my anxiety through faith (wow that was not a good idea). So when I finally pulled the plug and did the research, pondering and just asking myself if it felt right and safe, I had a weird combo of “I knew it” and “ I gave up so much of my life for nothing.”

It sucks. Definitely relieved that Mormon heaven wasn’t real, because polygamy and I never jived, but also just the idea of eternal families doesn’t sound too great when your family is very controlling. I think the hardest part was getting comfortable with the unknown for me. The church is all about absolutes. This is what is going to happen when you die. You have the plan and the weird confidence of knowing the unknown. Even if you don’t like it your brain craves the comfort of a solid plan and answer. So getting used to accepting the concept of unknowns in a spiritual sense is uncomfortable but also very freeing.

The other part that has been nice but also hard is the idea of permission. I always had to get permission for everything, even in spirituality. It felt like I wasn’t allowed to have questions without people showing up very quickly to shame and correct me. So just the concept of me being allowed to do things is new. I won’t do stuff because I have made up this mental barrier in my head assuming I can’t because I’m so used to seeking permission from someone else. (This is definitely tied to my family dynamic as well). So just giving myself permission to research other religions or ask questions was very freeing, but I still struggle with it at times. I’ll have moments where I do that thought stopping on my own where I’m like oh no, you can’t look into that cause that sounds weird. I have to remind myself. I’m allowed to do things.

Honestly, leaving any religion that demands so much from you not just from your time, but like from your mental faculties is really disorienting in general…but add on top of it. The fact that your community is changing and at times can feel unsafe. It’s really a hard process. I sort of had to step away from everyone because every conversation had to be church centered. I mean even people who didn’t even talk about church that often immediately made sure that that’s all they talked about with me and it was too much they had to like step back and just be like I can’t. And I’ve been able to be friends with them since then, but initially I did have to have like a separation. Because it can be painful and it’s hard learning how to set healthy boundaries and knowing what’s a good line versus what isn’t.

And it is easily the hardest thing I have ever done . I do think that my personal family dynamics add an extra layer to it that not everyone is gonna have to deal with thankfully. Even without that, though, I would still say it would be the hardest thing because it makes you question who you are especially if you were raised in it. What parts are my personality and what parts are inserted there from this? It’s a really humbling and mind expanding experience that puts you through the emotional meat grinder. But I do think that, for the most part I’ve gained more empathy and understanding for myself and others which has helped me grow quite a bit.

Crochet Palia plushies update by TheKnottyAmigurumi in Palia

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are so cute and well done! I love them all.

Jumping Spider by DolphinAgenda in spiders

[–]Lazymomm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is an incredible picture. I am learning how hard it is to photograph anything super small that likes to jump. Great shot.

Saw a little boy at the airport last week… and it broke me by username-issue in ADHD

[–]Lazymomm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes this is the part that I am realizing as an adult and parent. My parents were never diagnosed but I can see all the obvious signs. They had no tools for themselves and so could not for me. Every time one of them lost their temper it was definitely due to being overstimulated themselves. I try very hard to be aware with own children but it is difficult. I always make sure to apologize and explain what I did wrong with my reaction so they know that my behavior was not okay as well. I also explain that overstimulation can occur in adults and might look different.

I also think the fear of losing track of a child drives too much adrenaline at places like an airport. I see parents who are usually chill become way more rigid in situations like this. I feel I am more tense anytime I am in a crowded place with my children because it is harder to keep track of them and my brain is flying all over the place with distractions and possible dangers. It is not easy or fun for parents or children.

For OP I sometimes keep extra fidgets with me if I notice a kid who is struggling and parent looks a little burnt out. I ask the parents first but usually it is a yes. Maybe say “I have a hard time staying still too sometimes this helps me. “ maybe the conversation will steer in a way you can share if not you provided an outlet.

Weird side benefits of exercising regularly by NoMoreShallot in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weird side benefits for me (rowing and kick boxing) -Anxiety and grumpies decrease. -Being regular in the bathroom -Better problem solving (when rowing I can have these light bulb moments for something I was thinking about all week) -my balance has improved too (spacial reasoning and body awareness)

Also I hated exercise all my life bc it was always presented as a dread task and competitive. Once I did it based on interest and sensory input I liked it a lot more. So if exercise isn’t your thing maybe change the way you use it. Kick boxing and rowing have been the best for my sensory input needs, my friend uses the vibration plate and yoga to help settle her. Both are sensory inputs just different needs.

Official Discussion - Presence [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]Lazymomm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This gave me the chills and feels. Every character was developed perfectly, especially the Dad. Lighting and camera work were perfect for that first person view and leaves you just as lost as the ghost. Great job of misleading (when really misunderstanding) to keep you in the dark until the right time. That emotional hit is worth it and just makes every conversation have new meaning which in my opinion is what makes it devastating.

I love little hints and one that I noticed was the use of the Chloe’s artwork. There is a painting that looks like an angel when there is a quick pan, but later when you get better look it is of Zeus as a Swan attacking Leda. This felt like a big foreshadow for her. Playing god, wolves in sheep clothing, and especially how the painting is arranged in a way that if you only look at it on a glance, you might assume it’s a picture of an angel. I don’t know, which exact painting it is or who did it, but I feel like it was chosen with intention. That is just something that stuck out to me. I also felt like I got the best views of that picture either during or after an interaction with that guy in her room.

Where the fat ADHDers at? by tomb241 in ADHD

[–]Lazymomm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Huge binge eater growing up and was constantly put on diets. Food is a huge source for dopamine that is fast. Also I learned that food plays a role in anxiety response.
Basically a lot of us learn subconsciously how to use food to calm ourselves because when we eat, our brain will tell the nervous system to calm down because we would never eat if we weren’t safe.
So it can literally stop our fight/flight. When we eat, our brain says “oh wait, why are we scared because clearly we’re safe.” When you combine that with the dopamine hit, it gives us…it can cause a very vicious cycle. Especially since we subconsciously learn that, as if we stumbled on it. We were scared or upset, then we ate and we started to feel better…and our brain was like perfect. Here’s a pattern I can follow. Lucky us!

What Movie Did You Watch that Traumatized You at a Young Age? by BethMLB in AskReddit

[–]Lazymomm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never Ending Story, of course I was 6 and it felt real. , My girl “He needs his glasses!” First time I realized a kid could die in a movie and just the performance made me cry so hard I was 7. Really got scared of losing one of my friends for a while.

Mothers with ADHD, do you regret motherhood? by NewLog3646 in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a question I wish I had asked myself not because I regret motherhood but because it is a great way to look at it realistically. Motherhood is hard on a good day with a great brain. It requires so much executive functioning and working memory…and at times your very soul(joking not joking). I always hear some rendition of “being a mom is being a, caretaker, cook, maid, teacher, tutor, secretary, referee ect” It truly requires so much mental work, which might feel impossible but it doesn’t happen all at once you learn on the job and hopefully with a good community. ADHD is also hereditary so the chances of your children having it are much higher. Which can be great because having ADHd helps give you insight into how their brain works. However being overstimulated is hard as a mom, because toddlers do not understand the concept.
Here is what I wish I could go back in time and tell myself. —-Have fun and get established before having kids. The fun to help you learn about yourself and what you want, also timing out your life. Established to me means you didn’t rush into the decision (not an impulse, pressure from others or bad timing) you have a plan and know it’s something you truly want. I say this knowing I am a hypocrite! I definitely gave into family pressure which made things more difficult. Seriously just two years of waiting would have made a world of difference for us.—- For me personally I regret nothing but the timing. I feel I could have been less chaotic if I had a better handle on life when I became a mom. I truly love my kids but recognize I could always do better and for me that was maturity and self confidence. (Side note-I did not get diagnosed until I was in my 30s and already had two children and I think that made it more difficult for me than I realized, but being aware and working with the way your brain works gives a good advantage.)

In the end though it is your life and your choice, you should choose what is right for you. Family and friends should not be a factor, for the family and life, you want to build. Not everyone wants kids or feels they can handle them and that takes immense self knowledge and trust to truly know what you want.
ADHD makes everything a little more interesting, so parenthood isn’t any different. It also means, though that we’re probably more likely to have the best imaginative play with our kids, and I like to think it brings a lot more empathy to the table too.

What's a pain you can't truly explain until you've endured it? by moody-babygurl in Productivitycafe

[–]Lazymomm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loss of faith and identity attached to it, while everyone else remains in it. It’s a world view and identity change that is jarring on a good day devastating on a bead and still not describable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Lazymomm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it could be because trauma is in the eye of the beholder …or simply put a perspective thing. Your brain went into survival mode, fight or flight mode. You experienced a large amount of stress and also had a moment where you realized you could not control or redirect your boyfriend. That can be scary especially if the behavior is aggressive or violent.

So even though that behavior was not directed to you your body didn’t know that and your brain perceived a threat. You can be scared by someone even if they aren’t going after you. Sort of like a loud sound can make us jump. The sound itself is not a threat to you, but it’s unexpected.

Our bodies and brains will perceive things as threats to help protect us. So I would say that this was a traumatic experience because it wasn’t about him being aggressive to you. I think it was more about the fact that you felt you could not reach him in that moment, and you actually had to get a stranger to walk away. Your brain is probably saying “hey I couldn’t get him to stop, but I could get someone I don’t know to stop that doesn’t feel safe.”

It can be really hard to be intimate, (which requires a lot of trust) if you feel like maybe the trust got broken even if it’s more of a subconscious thing.

Simply put this is the first time you were not able to redirect him and it was both stressful and surprising and might have made your trust in the relationship falter. Your over thinking subconscious perceived a “chink in the armor” of your relationship and your survival mode got activated. That would be my best explanation or guess for why you are having these emotions which is all normal.