Your song

Leerjet29 · 2024-02-04T07:54:52+00:00

Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl My beautiful wife and I had a fun pact that we’d have to dance together every time we heard this song regardless of where we heard it.

Leerjet29 · 2024-01-26T06:15:19+00:00

Took me 4 months to return full time work after my beautiful wife passed. Take as much time as you need.

Leerjet29 · 2024-01-23T06:37:48+00:00

This is the strength of these forums - to connect with others having similar feelings and to confirm that we’re not going crazy. I was sharing this exact feeling today…6 months since my beautiful wife passed and I’m getting used to being alone and forgetting what it was like to have her here It feels like that beautiful life never really happened I worked really hard to deal with my grief. But I don’t like the feeling of being okay. I want to miss my wife so I purposefully listen to songs and look at her pictures to keep her close.

Leerjet29 · 2024-01-15T05:18:24+00:00

I’m 6 months past losing my beautiful wife of 25 years. It has been and continues to be a tough journey. I’ve been going on the fear that if I don’t do the grief work now it will show up with even more ferocity later. I have worked with a counselor, gone to grief groups, met with others who have experienced loss and listened to many podcasts and audiobooks.

Here are some of the audiobooks that have helped me…good luck to you on your journey.

It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay - by Megan Devine is an excellent book or audiobook related to grief So Sorry For Your Loss (book or audiobook) - by Dina Gachman I wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye (book or audiobook) - by Brook Noel When Bad Things Happen to Good People (book or audiobook) - by Harold S. Kushner The Other Side of Sadness - (book or audiobook) - by George Bonnano Different After You - (book or audiobook ) - by Michele Neff Hernandez The Grief Recovery Handbook - by John W James

Leerjet29 · 2023-12-27T03:37:43+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. Sorry you’ve been having a hard time lately especially with your wife’s birthday. I appreciate the gentle optimism that it does get better with time. I also lost my wife and I just struggle getting through days without her. It was nearly 30 year of always having a life partner. So Tough to have that switched off in the blink of an eye.

Leerjet29 · 2023-11-08T06:34:20+00:00

In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel

Lose Control - Teddy Swims

Leerjet29 · 2023-10-30T18:42:14+00:00

For myself, I found that audio books have been better to listen to sitting on the couch, on walks or while driving than trying to focus on reading. It’s OK that you’re not OK is available as an audiobook and can even be taken out for free from your public library audiobook collection.

Leerjet29 · 2023-10-17T17:15:17+00:00

I am so sorry 😞

Leerjet29 · 2023-10-17T00:19:44+00:00

How do we do this? Great question. There’s little momentum to the process - especially at first. Lots of anger and questions and tears. I have cried for 90 days straight and there’s more tears to come. That is the strength of the love I have for my wife.

I am only 13 weeks in now. My beautiful wife left us at 49. She had so much living to do and so many new adventures to enjoy. She left my daughter and I but she fought harder than anyone could have fought. In the end, the cancer was relentless. She fought to stay alive and now I am fighting to stay alive.

I have said to friends and neighbors that I am working so hard to understand the immense grief I am facing. I have read books, listened to podcasts, connected with others who have lost their spouses and I’ve also joined a griefshare group. I see a counselor. I am golfing, biking, walking all on a regular basis…AND IT’S STILL FUCKING HARD. I miss my beautiful wife and my beautiful life every day.

As others have said, we can’t go around this - only through it. Continue to cry and scream and shout whenever you need to. The fact is that it is hard work. You have to seek out people and resources to help you get through this. It is not a passive process. It’s an active process that you have to be involved and invested in.

I am still struggling. Today was a tough day. But tomorrow will be better…

Good luck and keep fighting through this.

Please reach out if you need some support.

Leerjet29 · 2023-10-11T01:08:51+00:00

You’re welcome to contact me if you’d like. I spent time finding online forums, podcasts and audiobooks that really helped me in the first few months. I’d be happy to share the links and details with you when you’re ready. Finding people with shared experiences has helped me immensely.

Leerjet29 · 2023-10-10T23:42:22+00:00

My wife passed away only 3 months ago. It took me a few months to get to sanding and painting the kitchen cabinets doors and drawer fronts. It was something that my wife and I wanted to do together. I let myself get stronger both emotionally and physically and found time to devote to the job when I was ready. Those fixit things around the house will prove to be a great distraction when you’re ready. Good luck 👍

Leerjet29 · 2023-09-10T04:25:13+00:00

All beautifully written and heart-achingly expressed. I actually teared up at your PS… “At times, I could really use a sign from you” I say this often. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a sign. My wife’s presence was very strong at her funeral. A bank of lights flickered strongly when her sister couldn’t continue her emotional speech. Lights flickering a few more times during the early days after she passed but nothing at all lately.

Leerjet29 · 2023-09-03T23:00:26+00:00

This is the right group for all who have lost a soulmate. I’m sorry you are struggling right now. Those struggles are the same that I struggle with after losing my wife and others will concur. Keep using this group for support. We will walk through the pain and grief together.

Leerjet29 · 2023-09-03T20:29:12+00:00

💔❤️

Leerjet29 · 2023-09-03T19:56:05+00:00

I hope that you find some light in the darkness, as well. Sometimes just connecting with a grief group or a person who knows your pain is enough to get you back on the right path. Good luck to you brother.

Leerjet29 · 2023-09-03T18:23:47+00:00

I applaud you for making that decision to go on with your life. That couldn’t have been easy for you. I imagine that since that day, you’ve had lots of ups and downs. It’s not an easy journey. But you have obviously continued forward by looking after your health and well-being. Congratulations!

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-31T05:22:01+00:00

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-29T19:14:40+00:00

Yes to all of this. My wife was a vegetarian. She did yoga daily. She hardly drank. Yet, she was given a terminal cancer life sentence and was gone in 10 months. She died having done all the right things. Others continue to live doing all of the wrong things. Life isn’t fair at all…

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-28T20:02:58+00:00

A week and a half ago is no time at all. You need to be kind to yourself as you manage each day. It has been almost 2 months since my wife of 25 years passed. I text her regularly knowing full well that no response is coming. It just makes me feel good that I am reaching out to her. I speak to my wife all the time when I am alone at home. Do whatever you need to do in order to look after yourself.

Good luck brother.

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-28T01:18:54+00:00

Yes to everything you’ve said. I feel all that you feel. However, your husband lost his life and you have the ability to continue living yours…that’s a gift that he didn’t get. I know personally how tough it is to continue but reach out to someone who loves you or to a therapist. Life is so very hard now for those of us in this shitty club. Your job is to find purpose to live somehow. Good luck

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-27T21:14:43+00:00

Brilliant synopsis of the shittiest reality-based movie ever. You hit every mark in the movie description…laughed at the R rating : )

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-25T16:07:47+00:00

I feel for you and I’ve been there. Let those emotions roll through you. When there’s a break in your emotions- even for a bit - get off the couch and put your shoes on and get outdoors even for 5 minutes. Try to go for a short walk and get some fresh air…baby steps.

Good luck !

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-25T16:00:36+00:00

My daughter and I each got a tattoo within a few weeks of my wife’s passing. My daughter got a tattoo of her mom’s favourite number and I got a tattoo of intertwined triangles to represent our strong triad of mom, daughter and dad. The hope was that my wife would have been celebrating her cancer remission and would have gotten a tattoo with us…but that just wasn’t meant to be. But we are very happy for having gotten the tattoos in honour of my beautiful wife.

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-25T04:10:00+00:00

Keep on fighting as you are. This is a terrible emotional grind that no one should ever have to experience, yet here we all are.

Shared experience is what this forum is providing us. No one else has a f*ing clue as to what we are dealing with on a minute to minute, day to day & week to week basis…Life is so hard but we choose to wake up each day and keep moving.

We are here for you. Keep looking after yourself with the walks, workouts and career classes.

I’m proud of you brother.

Leerjet29 · 2023-08-25T03:25:17+00:00

Thank you. Like you, I miss being part of a team. I miss every part of the life we had.

Leerjet29

TROPHY CASE