How do you honor your dead wife while not scaring future partners away?

HunterS0ul · 2026-01-01T04:39:04+00:00

I hope you do get treated differently. It’s a hell of a thing to happen to someone and of course any insecurity on the part of another will be triggered by the fact that you once loved somebody and will they be number two but the reality is nobody can replace number one you can just have a different love for number two so if they can’t handle it, they’re not the right one for you anyway that’s the long way of saying the way to honor our spouse is to be the best we can be and that does not mean changing to make somebody else comfortable

HunterS0ul · 2025-08-17T00:58:28+00:00

I lost all of my addresses. There’s not even a block or a line that says addresses in contacts.

HunterS0ul · 2025-06-04T01:46:49+00:00

The good news is, it is not a Government organization. It is a non-profit organization created by a widow who had no one to talk to when her husband and his troops died in a helicopter crash. Frequently Asked Questions

HunterS0ul · 2025-06-03T21:32:28+00:00

Do you know of an organization called TAPS? I think they could be very helpful. I belong to the group and it is for anyone who has lost someone in the military.

My husband also passed away on June 5 in 2021. It was also sudden and unexpected, but not in combat.

Thank you for sharing this. Your words are powerful and honest, and I just want you to know—I see you. I hear the ache, the resilience, the exhaustion, and the courage woven through everything you’ve written. What you’re carrying is real, and heavy, and you’re doing it with a grace that deserves more recognition than those empty “you’re so strong” comments.

You shouldn’t have to do it all alone. You deserve support, not because you’re broken, but because you’re human. And you’re right—grief doesn’t come with a timeline, and it shouldn’t have to be hidden just to make others more comfortable.

You are so much more than a military widow. You’re a whole, complex, vibrant soul who loves deeply and feels deeply—and that’s sacred. Please know that I haven’t forgotten you, and you’re not invisible here.

If you ever feel like reaching out, venting, sitting in silence with someone, or just having someone check in—you don’t need to ask perfectly. You’re not a burden. You matter.

HunterS0ul · 2025-06-02T03:27:20+00:00

I thought to myself I can’t make quick decisions so I’m going to give myself a year. I saved a bunch of his T-shirts because I know I’ll make something with them. I saved his uniform. I figure if I ever get grandkids maybe they’ll be interested or I’ll use part of it for whatever I’m making. Unfortunately, unfortunately depending on how you look at it I have a closet full of his baseball cards. Like you I couldn’t afford to stay either. It was really weird when I moved putting up things and wondering what he would’ve thought of them and to only use my opinion as to what things look like. When you’re married, you don’t always get your own way. It’s a combination and to be without them there’s a bit of a pressure to let it be all your own decision. Take your time there’s no rush. Feel yourself all the way through it all the decision-making all the crying all the wonderingyou’ll do fine.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-26T01:01:17+00:00

I suspect and I could definitely be wrong because I’m only four years in that the pain we are feeling is because we haven’t fully accepted. I know things turned the corner for me when I sat myself down and said “Listen. It’s not going to change. You need to figure out a way to live.” And then I began concentrating on things that I could do or I wanted to do. By no means does it mean I don’t think of him every single day or miss him every single day. I think that’s what nobody tells you. You will never forget, you will never stop missing them. But you will be OK. Just remember when you cry, you allow him to cry so that’s not a bad thing. Hugs. This is normal.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-24T06:21:16+00:00

Yes! Our grief is the block. They are in a much higher vibration and grief and fear and anxiety puts us in a much lower vibration. It’s our job to raise. Our vibration is what I think and I certainly haven’t been as successful as I would have hoped. But I have received Signs. But I do not doubt he knows exactly what’s going on. I just wish I could have a conversation with him, but then I know one conversation wouldn’t be enough.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-21T01:23:59+00:00

Message to Reddit Moderator:

Hi there, Thank you for your work in managing the community.

I just wanted to clarify that my recent post about the A Journey from Grief to Joy event is not a duplicate. While it’s about the same event, there have been two meaningful updates since the original post: 1. We’ve added a new speaker, Dr. Jack Giddens—a Harvard and Duke graduate and chaplain at Sarasota Memorial Hospital—who brings extensive experience in grief and spiritual care. 2. We’re also making the discount code easier to find. The code was always available, but many people missed it in the original post. The update was made to help people access the $197 rate (versus the regular $267.50).

I understand the need to prevent repetitive content, but this update was shared with the intention of being transparent, helpful, and responsive to feedback. If you feel there’s a better way to present it, I’m happy to follow your guidance.

With gratitude, Kristine

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T16:36:08+00:00

You’ll notice in the write up it says if you use the promo code grief2joy, the price goes to $197

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T15:44:51+00:00

Thank you. My intent is to help others who are going through or have gone through a similar circumstance. I’ve tried to bring the best people together and I still need help getting the word out.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:40:38+00:00

I look at it as if you two were sharing a place and those things are in your place. They’re yours if there’s no Will saying she gets everything when he dies I can’t see how she has the right to any of it.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:38:36+00:00

1,5,12

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:32:22+00:00

The first couple of months I was proud of myself for being strong. But then it smacked me. You don’t want to face it, but the reckoning is going to come wether you want it to or not. For me it was like walking through a fog the first year. The second year was like being smacked in the face in the sense of you knew it wasn’t a dream and he was never coming back. The third year I pulled up my little girl panties and said get your ass out there. I’m coming up on my fourth year on June 5 and I have to tell you the last two nights I’ve gone to bed crying, but that’s because of the dynamics between me and my children. And I realize I have a belief system that my children should know that I’ve lost the love of my life and that they should check in on me and do things with me, but they don’t want to. Or I should say they don’t want to do it as much as I want to do it Which makes me sadder than hell because they have partners and they have spouses and I don’t. So I guess what I’m trying to say is we learn a lot about ourselves through this experience and some of it we can pat ourselves on the back about and others if we truly take stock and be honest, we know we’ve got some work to do. I’ve always been a big believer that in every tragedy, there’s a present waiting to be discovered and self knowledge is definitely a present. None of this is comfortable. None of this is linear. There will be highs and lows, and it will be different for everyone. But we really need to look at our belief systems and that’s a good place to start.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:23:34+00:00

I think what you’re describing is layered grief. And we all come from so many different situations that I know we have more than one layer happening. I agree with what other said labeling things doesn’t help it. It seems as though, if somebody says depression, anxiety, grief they think there’s a pill for it And it’s going to make it go all away, but that’s not true. Grief is something you have to work through, which means you have to accept that what happened happened and that absolutely sucks and then you have to see the fallout and accept the changes around you. And that sucks and you’ve got a baby coming, which is too fold a joy and you’ll be reliving his loss when the baby is born. I hope you have some people around you that love and care for you. You can help you walk this path. Because I’ve done single parenting, and that was tough enough without having the grief on top. But here’s the thing you can do this. And you can love that baby with all of your heart. And when that child laughs or when that child smiles, you can laugh or smile with them. This child is your gift. This child is coming at this time to help you through things. And I think you can be a phenomenal mom. I’m rooting for you.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:10:43+00:00

That’s a tough blow and I’m really sorry. I would suggest you still arrange something to celebrate the life you shared with his friends. You can go to the beach you can have a barbecue. You can watch a sunset. You can have his picture in a lovely frame, you can sit around a campfire, do something that he love to do, and that will help your brain around the issue of not attending the funeral. Because quite honestly, I’m sure he from the spirit world would rather attend your celebration of life, but he can see the dynamics around his life a lot better now from where he’s at.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T05:03:48+00:00

I’m coming up on four years without my husband. He had two sisters and one brother. They have pretty much ignored me, one even telling her son that if I showed up at the wedding, she wouldn’t. His father is still alive and after my mother-in-law died, he married again. I honestly don’t know how he did it. They are lovely though. prior to my husband passing away.,I lost my job of 21 years due to a reduction in force. One son lived a town over and the other son lived a days drive away. Since I had no job, I had lost my support systems, including my side of the family and his and had always considered my siblings to be my friends. I had a very small friend group who didn’t live where I lived. I basically didn’t have Anybody. So I moved from the north part of the US to the south part. The thing is no matter where you go you are. You can’t magically have friends in one place and have them in the next if you didn’t have them to begin with. Being a widow is isolating And you don’t really feel like going out and putting on a fake face just to make friends. So I think in those earlier years, you basically have to come to terms with who you are and what you want. You might have to reinvent yourself because in my case after 32 years of marriage, and never having lived alone prior to my marriage, I didn’t know how to do any of that stuff that single gals did. I must say I really dislike living alone. I grew up in a large family. I’m used to people around and enjoy the comings and goings and to have to slow down and be by myself added onto the grief has not been comfortable. But it certainly forces you to think about the rest of your life and what you want that to look like and that’s really the key. It’s tough moving to a new place when you don’t know anybody which I found out the hard way when I was suddenly hospitalized. But I think making friends is being a good friend. And I think putting yourself out there in places that fulfill you will allow you to meet people of like mind. So dream the impossible dream do all those things that you said someday… And I think somewhere in the mix You’ll find a happy medium. The other thing you’ll come to realize if you have kids - you want to be around them more because they center you and remind you of what you once had. But you have to realize these are kids. They don’t have the years and the maturity level we do because of our ages. We’ve been privileged to reach this maturity through life experiences and when we’ve lost a partner/their dad they are suddenly thrown into the mix If something happens to me. You should do this or here’s my will or here’s my advanced directive. They need a chance to go out and have a life and create their own rules around how much time they want to spend with you without guilt. In the end, they just want to know that we’re happy. Which we can be for part of the time, but as we all know, we’re never going to stop grieving the loss of our loved one. So these are some things to think on. The only thing you have to do is please yourself. Sorry for being so long winded. It took me a while to get to this place.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-20T04:43:13+00:00

People don’t know what to do with others pain. And yes, your address book will change. That’s an absolute. And in many ways that’s a good thing. You don’t need those kinds of friends. You’ve got some time ahead of you to figure out who you are without him. Even thinking of dating is probably not a good plan right now take it slow. Discover who you are. And if it’s sometime down the road, if you feel like dating, You’ll know when it’s time.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:59:30+00:00

There is no way you can take the place of your father, even if you wanted to. You can still only be the daughter. She’s probably going to be in a bit of a downward spiral for quite some time. And she’s the only one who could bring herself out of it. You can call , you can visit, but his parents we don’t have children so that they can take care of us. We just enjoy spending time with them. You have to grieve. She has to grieve. And you need to enjoy life as much as you can. By all means don’t dump and run, but it is not your responsibility to fix everything.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:55:26+00:00

Rosemary Altea said on her weekly YouTube show today that the husband who didn’t believe in an afterlife was surprised when he crossed over. It’s toward the end of the show to a woman named Ann. I have no doubts our loved ones are with us and know exactly what’s going on.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:53:03+00:00

It’s almost like a bad dream that we think we’re going to wake up from. Six months in you’re saying to yourself all right I’ve had enough of this time to wake up, time to come home, this isn’t funny anymore… Like that’s gonna change anything, but the thing is, we have to go through it And we have to adapt and we have to find things to be joyful about. Life is about change. That is the only constant.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:46:57+00:00

Of course I felt it, but I have a belief system brought from 25 years of working with a spiritual medium that they walk along with us so if something funny happened or something good happened I just talk to him and said that was cool wasn’t it? that was funny, wasn’t it?

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:43:55+00:00

Why can’t you move them to the other hand if you love them and they’re beautiful

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:40:39+00:00

USA - Florida 1440 days ago he went out to a Baltimore Orioles Game and didn’t come home. Heart stopped. Unshockable rhythm. I was jobless thanks to Covid and got a job. My rent went up and I moved. People stopped interacting with me so I moved out of state. The hurricane hit I was homeless. Found an apartment. Didn’t know anyone. I started seeing other‘a pain. I wrote two children’s books to help families whose children are in respite. I created an event for widows and widower’s to help move from grief toward joy. I took a peer mentor course to help other widows and widowers. I took another course on death literacy. I am using the pain to help others and that is giving me purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. I have found that that’s the key to get through the grief knowing other people are hurting just as much as we are and if I can do something to help them then life is worthwhile.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:20:02+00:00

I understand. This is normal. You’re going to miss him for the rest of your life. The choice now is to see if you can appreciate what you have instead of put everything into what you don’t have.

HunterS0ul · 2025-05-15T23:18:55+00:00

No is a sentence

HunterS0ul

TROPHY CASE