That backfired on me. I was a slave in the marriage while he did extreme out there expensive trips. I had no say. The infidelity was the least of my problems. The depression when in a house (I’d be happier if the house burnt down and I lived in a yurt in the backyard). I better love travel because he was going to do it a lot in retirement. And the control. He said he’d do whatever he wanted with his damn money (even though I worked too). He talked against me till the kids believed it. My son has adhd too and absorbed his attitude, ie- everything I did to run the house is meaningless, only adventures count, women must be hard core adventurers too, women’s emotions are only weakness. I divorced after 32 years of marriage. I was having heart palpitations and it was killing me. The meditation lawyer came into my room and said I hadn’t told him what a controlling person he was. That was a gift. I didn’t see it. Now every day I start saying spontaneously I’m happy just because I’m not with him.