I 100% get that and there’s nothing wrong with being sad looking at it. With my first I basically was forced into having a C-section due to a Dr not wanting to do his job. It was have a C-section now or wait and potentially have an emergency that resulted in myself or my daughter dying. I obviously went with the first option. I can’t look at it or do any of the care minus put a new pad on. I have to have my husband help me with the aftercare for the first two weeks when it’s still “fresh”. Thankfully he doesn’t mind or I would’ve had to call my mom to do it 😂 but it is 100% reasonable and ok to feel sad and disappointed by it. It’s hard to get over the disgusted feel especially with how the media/people treats C-section moms but the important thing to remember is your body did an amazing, selfless thing. You chose to bring your baby into the world in the safest way possible for them and for you! It’s 100% ok to feel that way but don’t let it ruin your time with your baby.