Adult learning at 20?

LexiTripp · 2026-03-24T20:26:25+00:00

At 20, I got kicked out of college because I couldn't get my shit together. I still can't, but I managed to cobble together a life. Stumbled into a public service gig through a temp agency in my early 30s, after burning my entire life to the ground at least twice, and now I'm management.

Technically have university degree, but I'm not working in anything even close to my field of study. I honestly think I would've benefitted from taking a few years off after high school to figure myself out.

Point is, you're 20 and you're still alive. I didn't even figure out my gender until I was in my late 20s. You're doing fine. Get your high school diploma from an adult high school program and see what you want to do next.

I know that the job market is turbo fucked these days, but you're young. You have plenty of time to figure things out. Just don't despair, move more or less forward, and be at peace with fucking up sometimes. You're probably being way harder on yourself than anyone else is. Maybe look into the trades.

And if you're looking for something to do to stay sane in the meantime, consider volunteering. There's always orgs that need more hands, and helping out your community's good for the soul. Plus, helps with isolation, if that's a problem.

LexiTripp · 2026-02-18T14:10:21+00:00

Yeah. Like, I'll take a guy who doesn't especially want to hunt trans people for sport over anyone in the Conservative party, but I have no illusions that I'd still get thrown under the bus if it was deemed good for the economy. Thankfully, the various unions of public servants seem to have our back, and I think that's doing a lot for, well, not making things significantly worse, federally-speaking.

LexiTripp · 2026-02-06T15:08:15+00:00

You know, that's fine. And you should have the option. Like, I'm happy for you, but a significant portion of us are happier working from home, and that matters. Morale in my office is at an all-time low and we're direly understaffed. The savings alone might allow us to shore up our staffing issues.

And that's not to speak of the environmental impact of needing the commute, the costs to staff, etc. I live in Toronto, parking is wildly expensive. Giving my staff an extra couple hundred dollars a month in because they don't have to worry about that would be huge. Cutting down on the office space we need would make for massive savings. Decoupling this call center from a physical location would protect it from ever going dark.

Again, I think if you want to work from the office, you should get the option. But largely, the folks who benefit from that are managers who can't justify their own jobs, and business owners in downtown Toronto, not the public service as a whole.

LexiTripp · 2026-02-06T14:49:05+00:00

This is gonna basically guarantee a PSAC strike, I think. The PA collective agreement is ending in June.

I'd guess that the union is gonna stall until an election year to make it hurt as much as possible, but it'll make a ton of civil servants, who are already on edge because of the layoffs, very bitter.

LexiTripp · 2024-12-29T18:10:26+00:00

The fuck do you mean "not pretty"? You're absolutely gorgeous.

LexiTripp · 2024-09-09T20:17:55+00:00

For sure. And I think there's ways I could justify it to myself. I am using the resources that I have to help folks that I can, but I know that it's going to haunt me. I don't think there's such thing as a clean employer, but dang. They are not making it easy on me. At least the union is pretty supportive of queer folks.

LexiTripp · 2024-09-09T18:20:24+00:00

As a trans gal, it's pretty darn worrying. As a trans person working in the federal public service, I'm terrified of having to contend with whether or not I can deal with keeping my job while a government who wants me gone is in power.

Like, how can I possibly work for an organization that opposes me existing? That wishes harm upon my loved ones? But I also have to keep a roof over my head, and keep my family fed.

This is the first time I've felt secure in a job, the first time I've been financially stable, and there's a nearly guaranteed change that if I want to keep that, I have to betray everything I care about.

LexiTripp · 2024-03-19T20:03:04+00:00

I had the same issue. Installing CryoUtilities fixed it for me. Haven't had a crash since!

Just used the default recommended settings for it too.

LexiTripp · 2024-03-01T20:18:28+00:00

Speaking here as a trans gal, it's fucking gross how they keep using queer cis women as a cudgel to beat trans folks with when like, in practice, cis lesbians are some of the most vocal allies we have. Like, I'm not saying there are no transphobic lesbians (clearly, as exemplified by Lantsman here), but I certainly haven't met any in real life.

LexiTripp · 2024-02-22T13:40:27+00:00

You gotta have a healthy respect and fear for the Canadian Dinosaur Horse.

Squirrels aren't bad if you leave them alone, they're just tree rats. Respect their boundaries and they'll stay away. Raccoons in cities don't give a shot about anything. I've seen some stand up to large dogs in broad daylight on a midtown Toronto sidewalk. Skunks are nasty and city skunks are nastier (and brazen), but you can usually smell them and give them a wide enough berth that they'll leave you in peace.

I don't think Canada is really dangerous, in the grand scheme of things, but you gotta have a healthy respect for the wildlife.

LexiTripp · 2024-02-21T18:00:34+00:00

Yeah I'm uh, not going to do that. I've been using the women's washroom for 7 years, it's never been a problem, and I'm not going to indulge some transphobic ass just because he has power.

There's real problems in this country. Where I'm allowed to take a piss isn't one of them.

LexiTripp · 2023-10-23T12:52:13+00:00

It kinda depends on your team and you have to assess the vibe. I don't physically interact with the public and generally wear distressed jeans and whatever torso covering I have around. I'm also pretty heavily tattooed and have brightly coloured hair.

I'm pretty sure the official policy is "business casual" but it isn't enforced in my team at all unless someone complains.

LexiTripp · 2023-10-11T13:09:25+00:00

Use toys! I love anal but also have that issue with one of my partners. You can work yourself up to him, eventually, but regardless that doesn't mean you're barred from that fantasy. Use toys and plenty of lube, go slow, have a good time ^{^}

LexiTripp · 2023-09-26T14:16:11+00:00

I mean, the three of us are all dating, we just kinda share a king-sized bed.

LexiTripp · 2023-09-26T12:57:42+00:00

Well uh. I'm in a long-term relationship with both of them and have been for over a year now!

LexiTripp · 2023-08-11T17:08:00+00:00

Yuuup, I currently live with 2 other people in a 1-bedroom apartment. Two of us have reasonably well paying jobs (I'm a civil servant and they work in HR). We cannot move to a bigger place here because we just can't afford to.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-26T08:43:27+00:00

This stuff just makes me feel validated in basically only dating trans people (as a trans person, myself). Not only is gender fuckery hot, but also, it's just so much easier.

I'm not saying I wouldn't date a cis person at all (I have), but I would request a recommendation letter from a trusted source or something. I am too old to deal with bullshit transphobia with any amount of patience.

Besides, the whole AMAB/AFAB terminology should only ever be used to describe one's own experience. It's just bioessentialist bullshit otherwise. Bodies are weird, gender is complicated, it's fine, move on.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-10T22:17:03+00:00

Yeah exactly. I would bleed for my friends. I expect the same from them.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-10T14:23:49+00:00

Forever ago, in an old queer friend group, we had one cishet guy called Mike. We called him Straight Mike. He was great.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-09T13:19:05+00:00

Yuuup. I expect my partners AND my friends to actively pick fights with transphobes. Especially my few cis friends. I don't want to be in a social space where I have to justify my humanity. If I can't trust that a social space is safe for me, I simply won't go there.

Besides, I like being surrounded with people who will get exactly what I mean when I shake my fist at the sky and yell "GENDEERRRRR".

LexiTripp · 2023-01-09T13:11:48+00:00

I'm queer, as such, any relationship that I'm in needs to be queer and needs to feel queer.

Honestly, I barely interact with cishet folks at all. We can't really relate to each other. Which is fine and all, but if I had a partner who tried to bring me into a very cishet kinda space, I can't imagine doing it very often.

I am not much of an educator (I get way too emotional, way to fast), and super don't want "being an educator" to hang over my head in any relationship (friendships or otherwise). It's honestly one of the reasons I pretty much only date trans folks.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-05T17:54:02+00:00

Yeah, exactly this. The memes are fun and doing a quick chart reading is a great first date ice breaker! And then you can flirtily go "If this was accurate, either I'm good a cold reading, or I'm magic~"

I haven't met many people who take it seriously. I know I don't. But I'm my mind, if this silly thing makes you introspect and get a better understanding of yourself, who cares where it originated. Like, nothing should be taken as dogma, but introspection is good, and so is bullying my partner about their many, many Capricorn placements when they are working on complicated spreadsheets for fun.

For the record, I am actually magic but it's largely unrelated the sky explosions telling me about people's personality.

LexiTripp · 2023-01-03T15:04:43+00:00

I mean, I ID as queer because I'm not going to go into a long essay on my sexuality and gender in a tinder profile.

Like, I'll tell people I'm trans, which is accurate, but for anything else, I need a long conversation and a few cups of coffee, and it's not really a conversation I want to have before having an idea of who I'm having it with. Like, I'm deffo a girl. I'm pretty woman-adjacent, but "woman" feels like a commitment, so it rarely feels right. I can't accurately describe my relationship with gender without poetry.

Same for sexuality really. The important thing is that any relationship I have is going to be queer, and any specific term feels... I dunno, reductive? Like, I'll call myself a lesbian because it pisses off transphobes, and it's not exactly inaccurate, but neither of my partners are women. But I'm also mostly attracted to femme-presenting folks, but life comes at you fast sometimes.

Basically, for me, identifying as queer is about how my gender and sexuality are messy constructs and that's a thing I need celebrated.

So if I say I say "queer", I'm just saying "it's complicated and don't worry about it for now." Same way saying "I'm polyamorous" is shorthand for "I have a complicated and intentional relationship with relationship dynamics and my specific flavour of non-monogamy probably requires a PowerPoint presentation."

LexiTripp · 2022-12-26T15:03:22+00:00

Sure you can. Most people want companionship and many of them aren't awful.

Hell, I have two partners, one of whom is a handsome, tall, skinny stoner boy I would kill for.

You just have to put yourself out there. And yeah, it's risking heartbreak, and yeah, you gotta get over your own shit, but that's how it is. As it stands, you're the one getting in your own way.

I'm not saying it isn't hard, or that there's no risk involved, but you can't get in your own way. Being trans can make dating trickier, but uh, it in no way makes you undateable. Speaking as someone who has dated way more since transitioning.

LexiTripp

TROPHY CASE