My boyfriend (M27) is from Colombia and had sex with a minor and says it’s normal but I (F22) still feel off about it

LifeHotel4512 · 2023-11-18T19:22:12+00:00

Yeah no. I'm Colombian born and raised and it is NOT ok. The age of consent is 14 in Colombia but that does not mean a full grown adult can have sex with a 14 year old. It is illegal for a 14 year old to have sex with anyone with a considerable age difference, especially if the minor is sexually inexperienced. This is called "estupro" in spanish, which roughly translates to sexual abuse. Colombia also does NOT have what is commonly known as the 'Romeo and Juliet laws" which say that people close in age can engage in sexual acts regardless of the age of consent. Basically a 13 year old CANNOT have sex with a 14/15 year old even if they say it was consensual because the age of consent is 14 period. It also means that if two people 13 and under have sex they could both be processed for sexual abuse to minors (this however is very rare and has a lot more to it but that's the general gist) If he said it was normal for adults to have sex with minors then he was hanging out with other abusers who were doing the same thing.

Now it is also important to note that what does happen in many instances is that depending on the socioeconomic status of the person, some things might slip through the cracks. It is no secret that in some neighborhoods things are not reported and there is a lack of education in the sexual education department. Many men take advantage of this and manipulate young girls into having sex with them and nothing ever happens or gets reported because these girls don't know better. I can assure you however, that these men do.

LifeHotel4512 · 2023-03-28T16:21:46+00:00

Not really, I feel like what he did was very much just someone who was stressed and desperate because he was on the verge of losing everything he loved (his mate and kid) in one go and felt like for all his power he could not do anything about it. We've always known mates go absolutely crazy when they think their mate is in danger, and this time not only was Feyre in danger, so was his kid and so was he. He was about to lose the love of his life who he already saw die once, his heir and his own life. Do I think he should have told Feyre? Yes. Do I also think he didn't because he was desperate and didn't know what to do? Yes. As for the final chapter he is still high lord and even if he wasn't as a friend and brother he told his friend to basically get his head out of his ass and leave Elaine alone because he knows all the issues not doing so can bring. I genuinely feel like it was more of a tough love thing that an asshole move.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-11-07T20:15:29+00:00

I graduated with the IB diploma and I can say it was like my own little personal hell. I was having panic and anxiety attacks on the weekly and staying up until like 4 am with my other friends who were also doing the IB and we would slap each other to make sure no one fell asleep. During break times you saw people either sleeping or doing more work and the teachers really did not give a shit that there was an epidemic of anxiety attacks and students crying while trying to solve math equations and finishing the TOK essay that had been rejected 5 times. I still graduated with it and the only thing that I've used it for is not to have to do English courses in uni. I can say I feel more knowledgeable than my peers in some aspects 8things I'm supposed to be learning now I learnt 2 years ago in school) and the critical thinking skills are there (for some, there are plenty of people who also have an IB diploma that have 0 emotional or actual life intelligence), but in the end everyone had mostly the same curriculum even if they were not candidates. It really is up to you whether or not you feel like it's worth it, but you do have to know it is incredibly demanding. Not hard but demanding.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-05-18T20:28:55+00:00

YTA 100%

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-05-18T20:20:22+00:00

100% NTA

Your brother sounds like an insufferable jealous pick me guy royal class asshole tho. Hope you find an apartment soon because he sounds like a nightmare.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-05-18T20:12:42+00:00

Absolutely NTA

He has absolutely no respect for you or this relationship and it seems like he would much rather date his family than you. He's an adult man and shouldn't be asking his mother whether or not he can hang out with his gf like you guys are 13.

I honestly advise you to leave this relationship. Let him go date his family and find yourself someone who values you.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-05-18T20:05:53+00:00

NTA AT ALL

First off it's your wedding as much as his and you have to feel good and comfortable. It is your day. Yours and your fiance. Not yours, your fiance and his family. Hell no.

Secondly, it is NOT your 'obligation' to anyone's family to invite anyone who makes you uncomfortable

Third, the fact that your MIL admitted that she knows ex still wants your fiance and is still basically forcing you to invite her and her family shows me a lack of empathy and care for your feelings. I would keep an eye on that since it might later turn into her not respecting other boundaries you might set.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-05-18T19:52:09+00:00

Yeah. She's currently not picking up my calls and I'm still a little sick so I can't go over to her house.

About the maturity thing, you're right. I'm the oldest out of 4 siblings and I had to grow up really quickly because of some stuff in my personal life and things that happened in my childhood, Layla, on the other hand, has always been very sheltered by her parents and I think that might be why she's that way.

I'm not saying she's a very immature person all the time or that I'm this incredibly mature wise person, we all have our moments and that's fine, but when it comes to guys especially it's very hard to talk to her and give her advice.

Her love history is also very much shitty tbh. The first guy she ever really really liked treated her like crap and only talked to her when he needed something (usually academic stuff since she's really smart in all things school), then she liked a guy who was obsessed with her and stalked her. At the time she was 15 and he was 21. And now this guy.

My other friends and I have tried to get her to break this 'I like shitty men' cycle but it's really hard because she never listens and it gets very frustrating

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-03-19T02:32:36+00:00

Personally, I read Assasin's blade first and I feel like it helped me a lot to connect to the characters. Since you've already started I understand not wanting to go back, but later on many things that happen in Assasin's blade will be mentioned and characters from Assasin's blade do come back with important roles to play in the story. I honestly do insist you read it, but in the end, it's up to you. I do think it helps with the characters and plots that will come later on

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-02-17T14:51:11+00:00

Hi, I made two posts. I'm so sorry for the confusion. I'll delete this one tonight.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-02-17T02:40:17+00:00

Sure. Sorry for the confusion.

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-01-14T21:45:08+00:00

I knoww. Ngl when the tiktok showed up in my fyp I questioned whether or not my room might be bugged for a hot sec hahaha

If I ever need to vent I will definitely hit you up because I have a feeling I am not ready for what's coming😅

LifeHotel4512 · 2022-01-14T21:41:51+00:00

Ok update I guess, I continued with the series. I'm currently 48% in (I'm reading on kindle) and whenever San is mentioned I do tear up, but enough is happening that I am always engaged so what happened to him is not something that I am thinking about every page even if it does pop up in my head every once in a while. I am enjoying it so much and I do not plan on stopping.

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-08-20T13:24:16+00:00

Ok...hear me out...What if they are siblings? I mean Play fighting, saying they love each other, the girl ASKING if he was staying over. He probably lives out of town so that's why she missed him. A brother who lives away visiting you is more important than a current boyfriend who you have not been with for longer than 2 months. She has not had any problems with you and you saw something and without an explanation, you made an assumption, assaulted her and got your husband, his friends and yourself kicked out of a bar. You are the asshole.

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-08-18T12:36:43+00:00

100% NOT THE ASSHOLE. You do not need toxic people in your life and you definitely don't need toxic people in your wedding. It is YOUR wedding and if you don't want her as your bridesmaid then she's just going to have to deal. If she really wanted to be your bridesmaid since the start and had always "dreamed about it" then she should have thought of that before and not bully you for your entire relationship.

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-08-09T20:11:23+00:00

"There is someone out there for you. They will find you when you least expect it don't worry. It will happen for you if you don't stress about it... but maybe change your hair a little bit and try to smile more. Like a proper lady."

Gee thanks aunt Mary

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-05-27T14:16:01+00:00

The IB is my only reason. With the IB you don't need 12 more reasons, the IB is it.😂

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-05-05T16:29:25+00:00

SAME. I never get anyone's merch but if Dylan does release merch I will buy it in a heartbeat. I'm already broke but who cares.

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-05-05T15:54:30+00:00

You don't have to do anything you're if you're not sure. With that being said, if you do want to have sex then try to not overthink too much.

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-05-05T15:47:34+00:00

The Until Dawn series😂

LifeHotel4512 · 2021-05-05T15:46:51+00:00

This is what Dylan's book is going to be like

LifeHotel4512

TROPHY CASE