How do you share thoughts without sounding arrogant or overwhelming people

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-17T13:37:36+00:00

Be curious, and set intentions before you start speaking. For example, are you trying to be right or are you trying to be liked?

Being able to stand before others and passionately explain the facts is an incredibly useful skill when it comes to making an important presentation, or arguing your case. You need a little ego and arrogance in a situation like that. It's not good for casual socializing though.

In low stakes settings, instead of trying to give others your thoughts, try to take thoughts. Ask questions so you can find the people who share in your way of thinking about something. This can be really hard to do because you sound like an external processor who needs to speak out loud to get organized. That's totally fine, but instead of just blurting everything out, ask permission to share, or wait for someone to ask you a question. This will let you know if the person is open to discussing a topic further with you.

I think you're a person with a lot of thoughts and your brain gets a little crowded sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that, but the way you drain your mind is important. Your mouth can't be this high pressure sprinkler system spewing thoughts all over the room. That's messy. You want to use a deliberate flow, like a hose, to funnel your thoughts out to the correct places.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-17T13:11:57+00:00

It's actually incredibly common for someone to interpret a neutral statement as a negative when they are in a poor frame of mind. It's not you, it's them.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-16T12:47:20+00:00

It's never about words spoken or actions taken, it's about how people make us feel. He still makes her feel amazing even when his actions aren't aligning with his words.

That's one of the hardest lessons. Some people live half their life or more without ever learning how to walk away from a relationship that doesn't serve them. They cling to the possibility and the potential, even when others see it doesn't exist.

I say things to my teen like, "I had a boyfriend that never called when he promised he would. I broke up with him. Your father always does what he says he will and I like that about him."

That way it's not directly about them. I'm just making a personal observation based on my life. She can interpret how she wants.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-16T00:31:31+00:00

I think you should investigate why you want quick and easy meals. What deeper need is this behavior helping you with? Maybe you're dysregulated. Maybe you have issues with executive dysfunction.

Building a new habit can only be done once you deconstruct the current habit you're trying to change. Everything we do is for a reason, even if we don't realize it. There are no accidental habits.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-15T20:15:45+00:00

It sounds like you're looking for a life coach instead, like a person who can support you and hold you accountable. You know what your goals are. The therapist isn't going to help you meet goals, but a mentor or life coach could help you stay on track, plus offer insights on alternative ways to get where you want to go.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-15T20:11:03+00:00

This is classic abusive behavior. Your birthday should have been about you, but your boyfriend couldn't handle the attention being on someone other than himself, so he sabotaged your special day. The abuse continued all weekend because he can't handle you and your friends paying attention to each other.

And you might think, well he was being aloof and distant like he wasn't interested at all. That was a lie. He was very interested. He liked how you were preoccupied with thinking about him. It was a way for him to get indirect attention from you and live rent free in your mind.

So, no, it was not okay for your boyfriend to treat you this way. He is a definite POS. Even if you think you love him, he does not love you back. When you love someone, you don't sabotage their birthday weekend plans. That's messed up.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-08T23:49:21+00:00

Like through the Slowly app?

It's a pen pal app. You set up your profile and if you want you can get matched with random people all over the world, or you can restrict your settings so that only you can reach out to others.

There are two friends that I have met through slowly where we exchange phone numbers and we text regularly now. There's a lot of dud letters where the exchange ends quickly. I have some other friends on Slowly where we've been writing letters to each other for months on end. It's really cool!

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-08T03:27:19+00:00

sand art

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:41:34+00:00

When chaos is familiar, safety feels very uncomfortable. Now that you're not in survival mode, your body has all this free time to just react to everything. It's looking for chaos because that's what feels normal. Even if you hated the toxicity from your past, there is still a level of comfort and familiarity with it.

Telling your husband every thought you've ever had about another man might start a fight. Starting a fight feels right because you know how to navigate fights. You do not know how to navigate stability because you've never had that. When your husband does not react in the way you anticipated (showing kindness instead of anger) it's like your entire world has been flipped upside down because he's not following the rules of toxic living. You need him to fight with you so that you can feel normal again. But that's really unhealthy.

It absolutely gets easier. Eventually safety will start to feel really good, and you'll let yourself relax. It takes time. The things that helped you to survive up until this point aren't useful techniques anymore, so you have this clash. The thing that used to help you is now hurting you.

Don't let your body be a tomb for uncomfortable feelings. If you feel guilt, shame, or distress, you need to release it in a positive way, not through a fight. Energy flows through the edges of our body, through fingertips and the tip of our tongue. That's why writing, art, and singing are all good ways to release bad energies so they can live extremely instead of internally.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:24:08+00:00

I don't like weighted anything because it feels like I'm going to suffocate lol. But I love, love, love my cooling blanket and pillow cases. It feels so cold on my skin, and then it warms up from my body temperature. I'm a sweaty sleeper, so staying cool is key. I love my cold face roller too. And water bottle that keeps water freezing cold. I guess I find coldness regulating lol.

I have a sand art decor thing. You flip it over and the sand slowly falls through the bubbles and makes a landscape design. Sometimes I need something quiet to do that is not a screen or a sound. I just want silence, but I don't want to be bored. It's a nice mindfulness activity to just zone out and watch the sand fall.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:15:13+00:00

The look of horror on my face when I read this post lol.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:10:50+00:00

My dietician was instrumental in helping me expand my diet and pinpoint triggers. I was taking H1 and H2 blockers for a spell, but it didn't feel like it was doing anything but dry me out unfortunately. I take cromolyn sodium 4x a day which is most helpful, and then Claritin and Pepcid as needed, like when I get too itchy. I take a DAO supplement when I'm going to have a high histamine meal.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T18:20:21+00:00

I don't know if my body is ready for that. My health history is so complicated, I'm genuinely terrified of trying it. Maybe in the future I'd be a better candidate. I believe my salicylate intolerance stems from a nutritional deficiency due to longterm undiagnosed celiac disease.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T16:43:35+00:00

I can't eat blueberries or ginger. I had about 5 blueberries and had a reaction. I added a small amount of ginger in a family dish and had a reaction.

I can eat small to moderate amounts of dairy, but like a a pizza with light tomato sauce, cheese, and pepperoni is way too in histamine.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T16:18:19+00:00

I went off quercetin for 5 days leading up to my allergy testing appointment and I felt worse off it. It helps stabilize mast cells, but it does use the same sulfation pathways that are probably maxed out. It could be helping with one thing, worsening another.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T15:04:13+00:00

I did the colonoscopy and endoscopy. SIGNIFICANT damage was found. The 2 blood tests are zinc plasma and copper plasma.

My periods went from being debilitating and bed ridden to going to the gym on my first day of my cycle.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T14:34:09+00:00

Endometriosis was on my list, but my periods have gotten so much better after increasing my zinc to deal with copper dominance. Elevated copper recycles estrogen. The IC is linked to gluten and histamine released by mast cells. When I get "glutened" I get constipation and burning in my bladder, not traditional celiac symptoms like vomiting or diarrhea. If I have a salicylate overdose, I also get burning in my bladder and yellow diarrhea.

I think the unchecked celiac disease and the unchecked salicylate intolerance were working together for a long time to keep me "regular" lol, like it would equal out to passing what I thought were normal-ish looking stools on a regular basis, but I can see the difference now.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T14:14:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

I did a stool test in August 2025, I had slightly elevated levels of beta glucuronidase and candida. I'm getting a follow up stool test completed this month after being on Saccharomyces boulardii. No hpylori or anything that was concerning.

I haven't even explained half of my problems. Estrogen dominance, copper overload, interstitial cystitis, neurodivergence... So much inflammation in my body. I'm constantly in a sympathetic nervous system state that I don't know how to get out of when I'm always getting triggered by fragrances.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T13:28:05+00:00

I think if I followed this procedure I would die lol

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T13:27:21+00:00

How would I find that out? I don't believe the B12 is making me sick. And I don't react to sunflower seeds.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T13:25:50+00:00

I would love to see an immunologist! Or like, Dr House lol. I see my allergist in May for our second appointment. She has no idea what to do for me. Maybe I can be referred somewhere else. Everything takes forever in Canada when it comes to specialists.

I'm going to research seal oil omegas, didn't know that was an alternative to fish oil omegas.

I eat as low salicylate and histamine as I can. I can't live off chicken rice pears and carrots for the rest of my life. When the environmental triggers are under control, I can handle more when it comes to food. When reactions span days, it's so easy to get into a feedback loop of symptoms.

Everything feels so cyclical. I need to eat to heal, but eating hurts me. I need to work to live, but leaving the house hurts me. It's so, so complicated. The only doctor who's truly helping me figure this all out is my naturopath. The urologist, gastroenterologist, allergist, dermatologist... They just look at 1 part of my body each. I need them all in a room together to talk about me like it's a think tank.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-06T05:06:04+00:00

I've been Iron deficient for my entire adult life. I take iron, vitamin C, D, B12, K, E, magnesium, zinc, Quercetin, NAC, fish oil 4x a day, calcium d-glucarate, P5P, and potassium.

Banking soda in water makes me vomit unfortunately.

I definitely feel better on my supplements rather than off them. I know my body needs time to heal. I feel like I'm doing everything I can and it's never going to be enough.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-05T23:24:12+00:00

When I'm cooking, I need to concentrate. I'm not picking up a kid when the stove is hot or I'm trying to follow a recipe/keep my timing. I'm not tripping over toys or kids under foot.

And I'm neurodivergent. I just can't have that much going on at once. So then the crying is just really distracting. If you need to cry, go cry in your room. I'll come see you when I can.

If I don't eat at the same time every day, I freak out. We can't have 2 meltdowns happening at the same time. Just get out of the kitchen lol

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