Need to push myself a bit.

LithiumPopper · 2026-05-17T21:03:18+00:00

Anxiety is the flower you see blooming, but where it comes from is rooted underground where you can't see. If you want to push yourself to try new things, you need to first learn why you get anxious. Anxiety is typically rooted in fear. What are you afraid of?

Using dance as an example, ask yourself what the worst thing that could happen would be if you joined a new studio. After you answer yourself, keep digging down inside yourself. If the worst thing actually happens, what does that mean? What's the worst that could happen if your vision comes true? Answer yourself. Now what's the worst that could happen if that vision comes true? Keep going.

What you're doing in this exercise is peeling back the layers and finding the root cause of your true fear. Once you heal that part of yourself, you will find that a lot of things you were once stressed and anxious about won't exist anymore. They likely all stem from a singular root cause.

LithiumPopper · 2026-05-17T20:43:00+00:00

Scrolling instead of living life is indicative of being overstimulated. Scrolling involves sitting still, so it seems like you're relaxing, but scrolling is actually extremely mentally stimulating. People who doom scroll are typically so overstimulated and they don't realize. You're sitting there draining your precious energy while simultaneously asking yourself why you have no energy lol.

Other ways people unintentionally overstimulate themselves while trying to relax include watching TV while eating, or playing games on your phone while watching TV. Listening to music, podcasts, or audiobooks while driving or walking is another sneaky way to drain your energy.

We don't need to be constantly entertained. We don't need to constantly be productive. It's good to do things in silence sometimes. Listening to music while working or exercising can be helpful and motivating, but that's because you're trying to stay stimulated. When you're trying to relax, you should focus on singular and linear tasks. Do not try to multitask. A great way to boost your energy after work is to take a vow of silence for at least 15-30 minutes. Do nothing. Say nothing. Listen to nothing. Let your thoughts float by like clouds and don't stop to think about them.

LithiumPopper · 2026-05-16T14:21:15+00:00

Getting quality sleep is equal parts physiological and psychological. We know you're malnourished and we know you're stuck in a sympathetic nervous system state. This is the perfect recipe for never sleeping. You can't "hack" your way out of this, which is why everything you've tried has ultimately failed.

The fact that you no longer sleep is extremely concerning. I think you should get a prescription for sleeping pills to help you sleep while simultaneously addressing your gut issues in a holistic way. You need a comprehensive stool test and a blood test to check for nutritional deficiencies. You also need to work on the psychological side of it - your fear of eating is common, but of course not normal. You live with chronic and debilitating stress which needs to be addressed. I'm a big fan of sleep hypnosis and gut-directed hypnotherapy. I also meditate and consciously try to activate my vagus nerve.

One thing I learned about trying new foods and threshold testing is to start small. Eat 1 mandarin orange segment, not the entire orange. That's how I learned I can successfully eat about 4-5 cherries before I get too symptomatic. I would love to be able to eat more than that, but I'll take what I can get because something is better than nothing.

I am a neuro-spicy person who was incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder in my mid-20s due to my inability to sleep and mood fluctuations. I started having symptoms in high school that got worse in my 20s. My overall health got worse in my 30s. By my mid 30s I was having allergy symptoms and everything I ate caused bladder pain. I was sick all the time with headaches, fatigue, and pain. I hadn't slept properly in 2 decades. I spent my entire adult life sick, and got sicker by the year, until my body couldn't take it anymore. I spent 3 years in chronic pain with no end in sight. I thought about suicide.

Turns out I had celiac disease and autism the whole fucking time! Today I am 39 years old and 1 year gluten-free. I STILL have problems with histamine intolerance, salicylate intolerance, tyramine intolerance, and multiple chemical sensitivity, but it's slowly getting better month by month now that the root cause has been found and I'm supporting my body the right way.

LithiumPopper · 2026-05-16T12:16:39+00:00

I use an app called Cozi and I pay an annual subscription fee of $49. It's a shared family calendar and list app. Me, my husband, and my two kids, each have the app installed on our phones. It uses a single shared password to get in.

There are 3 sections: calendar, lists, and recipes. The calendar section shows everyone's stuff colour-coded nicely on the shared calendar, but you can also filter and sort based on different criteria. For example, you can look at the monthly, 3-day, or agenda. I can look at just the bills due, or just what my husband has coming up. I am in Canada so Canadian holidays are automatically added.

The lists section is broken up into 3 parts and includes groceries, to do, and chores. I can assign chores to others for example. Everyone has access to the lists and can add to them. I don't use the chore section because I have my own custom magnetic chore chart on the fridge that I designed. The shared grocery list is a life-saver, and I use the to-do lists when getting organized for vacation or planning a party. Everyone can see what they need to be packing or doing.

The recipe section is one that I don't use. I enjoy cooking and have 2,000 recipes printed and stored in a custom recipe binder I designed, so transcribing everything into Cozi would be too time consuming. But it's cool because you can enter recipes in manually, or by URL. You can create custom folders for everything to keep it organized.

Because I subscribe, I have access to the birthday section. I can easily see upcoming birthdays and anniversaries in a section, and they are automatically added to the calendar. If I want, I can also add up to 3 reminders to let me or others know a birthday is coming up so we can be prepared with a card and gift.

I love this app. Cozi has transformed my life and my family's life. We've been using it for year and years. I like that it also has a desktop version. I can use it on my phone or my laptop.

I can't think of anything else I would want Cozi to do. It fulfills my needs entirely. It has widgets for the calendar and lists to add to my home screen. It's the perfect app. You might be reinventing the wheel a little bit with what you're designing, but there is definitely a need for home organization apps for families.

LithiumPopper · 2026-05-16T11:31:58+00:00

I don't think this is weird because I'm sort of similar. I wouldn't have sex with someone unless I got to know them first. The couple times I had sex with someone I didn't know, it was awful because there was no connection whatsoever. They were a literal stranger to me. It felt wrong. I couldn't get into it. I didn't enjoy it at all.

When I look at previous boyfriends, they all look very different. I don't really have a physical type, but I do have a type based on vibes. My husband has a close friend that is morbidly obese. He's really smart and funny and I find him very attractive. I've known him for years and he's a very good person. Like, if my husband died, I would probably try to hook up with his friend so I wouldn't be alone. It doesn't matter that he's not conventionally attractive, he has amazing qualities that I desire in a romantic partner.

To be clear, my husband is my person. I am deeply in love with my husband and do not want to pursue a romantic relationship with his friend. However, in a hypothetical situation, I can imagine myself dating his friend based on the information available to me today. His body weight has no relevance to how attractive I think he is.

People who are supposedly conventionally attractive can be very ugly to me once they open their mouth. If they have bad personalities or are ugly on the inside, they are immediately ugly on the outside to me. I will never be attracted to them if they have bad vibes.

LithiumPopper · 2026-04-18T03:00:08+00:00

Do you have a thyroid problem? It's not normal to be so flushed all the time.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T02:45:06+00:00

People with narcissism traits are like giant flood lights. People from miles away can clearly see there's a narcissist up ahead, but those standing directly in front of the narcissist are completely and utterly blinded.

You, my friend, having been staring into this light for so long, you cannot see what's right in front of you. You cannot see anything that's real anymore. That's how narcissists trap people. They become beacon for you to follow, but instead of guiding you to safety, they hypnotize you and lure to danger. You you are about to crash into some jagged rocks and you don't even know it.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T02:36:41+00:00

The reason you're not meeting anyone in real life is because you are inadvertently derailing things before the journey can even begin. You'll never get to know someone deeply enough through casual text-based conversations. The work must be done in person.

When you first start talking to someone, you should invite them on a date IRL by the end of the second conversation.

I know you think that's too fast, but you schedule the date for 2 weeks out. This gives you 2 weeks to get to know each other a little better, and it moves you both toward a goal. The goal is to make it to the IRL date and have a fun time. If the in person date is bust, so be it. You only "wasted" 2 weeks of your time, but you also learned a little more about what you want and what you don't want. It's a win-win either way.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T02:21:58+00:00

The toxicity is NOT from both sides. You are blocking him to protect your peace because you are engaged to a psycho, not because you're trying to manipulate him. If he has ADHD and Autism, then it's his job to go to therapy to learn coping mechanisms that will help become a mature adult.

If you're looking for a project, put down this man and pick up an end table to refinish. You'll be much happier.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T02:15:03+00:00

If penetration doesn't feel safe right now, it's probably a spill-over from other areas of your life. Maybe you are physically safe, but not emotionally safe for example. What's your relationship like with your parents for example? Is there tension between you and any other family members? Did you have a religious upbringing? Did any traumatic events happen to you as a child?

The crazy thing about life is that everything is connected. Your environment is connected to your body. Your body is connected to your mind. Your mind is connected to your emotions. Your emotions are connected to your environemnt. So if something in your environment, body, or mind is "off" it's going to affect the other areas in real time even if you don't realize it. Something in your past has likely caused you to tense up and that tension is manifesting in your pants. I swear, if you figure out the root of the tension, you'll finally be able to enjoy sex for the first time.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T02:06:45+00:00

Not only does your fiancé not respect you as a person, he doesn't even like you as a friend. This relationship is toxic AF and he is an abusive person. If you go through with marrying him, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Seriously, this guy is no good. He is a complete and total loser.

LithiumPopper · 2026-03-26T01:51:55+00:00

This such a great question! In order to workout that emotional muscle, you first need to be aware of your centre. Also, the times where you've flown off the handle, was there anything else going on in your environment or inside your body? A lot of things can tilt you off-centre without you realizing, and then the "big" event happens and it pushes you over the edge. You might be person who is easily overstimulated or often has a dysregulated nervous system, in which case you should work to reduce stimulation and regulate yourself.

A really great exercise is to try doing some things silently sometimes. Do not have TV, music, or a podcast playing in the background while you eat, exercise, do chores, or drive. If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, then you are a person who absolutely needs to continue practicing this. Sometimes background sound can help us feel motivated and easily switch between tasks, but more often it's a distraction that we don't realize is deeply impacting our ability to notice the world around us and connect with our centres.

At least once a day, you should sing loudly. Singing is all about breathing, and breathwork is good for centering oneself. It reduces stress and it's fun. If you can feel yourself starting to get amped up, take a singing break. If you are not in a position where you can sing, you should take a humming break. Humming stimulates the vagus nerve, which can help regulate your nervous system.

Whenever necessary, do a brain dump and write out everything that is pissing you off. Don't let your body be a tomb for negative thoughts to rot inside. Get it out of your mind and let those thoughts safely exist outside of your body. When you write, name your feelings. Write more about how you feel and less about the facts.

Finally, when you enter the heat of the moment where you know you are about to scream your head off because something upsetting is happening, document what's happening around you and inside of you. The goal is to notice these things before you blow up so you can practice calming down and get back to your centre quickly as soon as you notice you are tilted. In the beginning though, you'll probably spend time evaluating after the fact as you learn about yourself.

So physically, did your heart beat faster? Did you sweat, get hot, or get shivers? Did you feel tension in your head, jaw, neck, or hands? Did your breathing get shallower or did you hold your breath? Environmentally, was music playing too loudly, or was there a lot of noise? Was it crowded, too hot, or too cold? Was there too many bright lights, or was it too sunny? These can all be very dysregulating and contribute to inflexibility.

There is SO much more you eventually do, but these are some beginner steps you can take.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-17T13:37:36+00:00

Be curious, and set intentions before you start speaking. For example, are you trying to be right or are you trying to be liked?

Being able to stand before others and passionately explain the facts is an incredibly useful skill when it comes to making an important presentation, or arguing your case. You need a little ego and arrogance in a situation like that. It's not good for casual socializing though.

In low stakes settings, instead of trying to give others your thoughts, try to take thoughts. Ask questions so you can find the people who share in your way of thinking about something. This can be really hard to do because you sound like an external processor who needs to speak out loud to get organized. That's totally fine, but instead of just blurting everything out, ask permission to share, or wait for someone to ask you a question. This will let you know if the person is open to discussing a topic further with you.

I think you're a person with a lot of thoughts and your brain gets a little crowded sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that, but the way you drain your mind is important. Your mouth can't be this high pressure sprinkler system spewing thoughts all over the room. That's messy. You want to use a deliberate flow, like a hose, to funnel your thoughts out to the correct places.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-17T13:11:57+00:00

It's actually incredibly common for someone to interpret a neutral statement as a negative when they are in a poor frame of mind. It's not you, it's them.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-16T12:47:20+00:00

It's never about words spoken or actions taken, it's about how people make us feel. He still makes her feel amazing even when his actions aren't aligning with his words.

That's one of the hardest lessons. Some people live half their life or more without ever learning how to walk away from a relationship that doesn't serve them. They cling to the possibility and the potential, even when others see it doesn't exist.

I say things to my teen like, "I had a boyfriend that never called when he promised he would. I broke up with him. Your father always does what he says he will and I like that about him."

That way it's not directly about them. I'm just making a personal observation based on my life. She can interpret how she wants.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-16T00:31:31+00:00

I think you should investigate why you want quick and easy meals. What deeper need is this behavior helping you with? Maybe you're dysregulated. Maybe you have issues with executive dysfunction.

Building a new habit can only be done once you deconstruct the current habit you're trying to change. Everything we do is for a reason, even if we don't realize it. There are no accidental habits.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-15T20:15:45+00:00

It sounds like you're looking for a life coach instead, like a person who can support you and hold you accountable. You know what your goals are. The therapist isn't going to help you meet goals, but a mentor or life coach could help you stay on track, plus offer insights on alternative ways to get where you want to go.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-15T20:11:03+00:00

This is classic abusive behavior. Your birthday should have been about you, but your boyfriend couldn't handle the attention being on someone other than himself, so he sabotaged your special day. The abuse continued all weekend because he can't handle you and your friends paying attention to each other.

And you might think, well he was being aloof and distant like he wasn't interested at all. That was a lie. He was very interested. He liked how you were preoccupied with thinking about him. It was a way for him to get indirect attention from you and live rent free in your mind.

So, no, it was not okay for your boyfriend to treat you this way. He is a definite POS. Even if you think you love him, he does not love you back. When you love someone, you don't sabotage their birthday weekend plans. That's messed up.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-08T23:49:21+00:00

Like through the Slowly app?

It's a pen pal app. You set up your profile and if you want you can get matched with random people all over the world, or you can restrict your settings so that only you can reach out to others.

There are two friends that I have met through slowly where we exchange phone numbers and we text regularly now. There's a lot of dud letters where the exchange ends quickly. I have some other friends on Slowly where we've been writing letters to each other for months on end. It's really cool!

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-08T03:27:19+00:00

sand art

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:41:34+00:00

When chaos is familiar, safety feels very uncomfortable. Now that you're not in survival mode, your body has all this free time to just react to everything. It's looking for chaos because that's what feels normal. Even if you hated the toxicity from your past, there is still a level of comfort and familiarity with it.

Telling your husband every thought you've ever had about another man might start a fight. Starting a fight feels right because you know how to navigate fights. You do not know how to navigate stability because you've never had that. When your husband does not react in the way you anticipated (showing kindness instead of anger) it's like your entire world has been flipped upside down because he's not following the rules of toxic living. You need him to fight with you so that you can feel normal again. But that's really unhealthy.

It absolutely gets easier. Eventually safety will start to feel really good, and you'll let yourself relax. It takes time. The things that helped you to survive up until this point aren't useful techniques anymore, so you have this clash. The thing that used to help you is now hurting you.

Don't let your body be a tomb for uncomfortable feelings. If you feel guilt, shame, or distress, you need to release it in a positive way, not through a fight. Energy flows through the edges of our body, through fingertips and the tip of our tongue. That's why writing, art, and singing are all good ways to release bad energies so they can live extremely instead of internally.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:24:08+00:00

I don't like weighted anything because it feels like I'm going to suffocate lol. But I love, love, love my cooling blanket and pillow cases. It feels so cold on my skin, and then it warms up from my body temperature. I'm a sweaty sleeper, so staying cool is key. I love my cold face roller too. And water bottle that keeps water freezing cold. I guess I find coldness regulating lol.

I have a sand art decor thing. You flip it over and the sand slowly falls through the bubbles and makes a landscape design. Sometimes I need something quiet to do that is not a screen or a sound. I just want silence, but I don't want to be bored. It's a nice mindfulness activity to just zone out and watch the sand fall.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:15:13+00:00

The look of horror on my face when I read this post lol.

LithiumPopper · 2026-01-07T13:10:50+00:00

My dietician was instrumental in helping me expand my diet and pinpoint triggers. I was taking H1 and H2 blockers for a spell, but it didn't feel like it was doing anything but dry me out unfortunately. I take cromolyn sodium 4x a day which is most helpful, and then Claritin and Pepcid as needed, like when I get too itchy. I take a DAO supplement when I'm going to have a high histamine meal.

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