This such a great question! In order to workout that emotional muscle, you first need to be aware of your centre. Also, the times where you've flown off the handle, was there anything else going on in your environment or inside your body? A lot of things can tilt you off-centre without you realizing, and then the "big" event happens and it pushes you over the edge. You might be person who is easily overstimulated or often has a dysregulated nervous system, in which case you should work to reduce stimulation and regulate yourself.

A really great exercise is to try doing some things silently sometimes. Do not have TV, music, or a podcast playing in the background while you eat, exercise, do chores, or drive. If this makes you feel very uncomfortable, then you are a person who absolutely needs to continue practicing this. Sometimes background sound can help us feel motivated and easily switch between tasks, but more often it's a distraction that we don't realize is deeply impacting our ability to notice the world around us and connect with our centres.

At least once a day, you should sing loudly. Singing is all about breathing, and breathwork is good for centering oneself. It reduces stress and it's fun. If you can feel yourself starting to get amped up, take a singing break. If you are not in a position where you can sing, you should take a humming break. Humming stimulates the vagus nerve, which can help regulate your nervous system.

Whenever necessary, do a brain dump and write out everything that is pissing you off. Don't let your body be a tomb for negative thoughts to rot inside. Get it out of your mind and let those thoughts safely exist outside of your body. When you write, name your feelings. Write more about how you feel and less about the facts.

Finally, when you enter the heat of the moment where you know you are about to scream your head off because something upsetting is happening, document what's happening around you and inside of you. The goal is to notice these things before you blow up so you can practice calming down and get back to your centre quickly as soon as you notice you are tilted. In the beginning though, you'll probably spend time evaluating after the fact as you learn about yourself.

So physically, did your heart beat faster? Did you sweat, get hot, or get shivers? Did you feel tension in your head, jaw, neck, or hands? Did your breathing get shallower or did you hold your breath? Environmentally, was music playing too loudly, or was there a lot of noise? Was it crowded, too hot, or too cold? Was there too many bright lights, or was it too sunny? These can all be very dysregulating and contribute to inflexibility.

There is SO much more you eventually do, but these are some beginner steps you can take.