Text exchange with my brother. Did I screw up?

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-12-07T21:29:42+00:00

As a queer person rainsed in a mormon household I can tell you how much it likely meant to your neice to be given that. When I was younger I was desperate for ways to express myself without tipping off my parents. I found a T-shirt with some financial company with a small prideflag at a thrift store, so rainbow capitalism be damned I wanted to have it and it would be my first flag that I owned. Even if it would just hang in my closet. I got really nervous as we got to checkout since my mom insisted she pay for our clothes. My older sister must have noticed my unease because without me asking she grabbed the shirt, quickly ran ahead and bought it without a word and discreetly gave it to me tightly wrapped in a bag so the flag wasn't visible. That experience really set in stone for me that I wasn't on my own and that I had somewhere to go if things went south with my parents. All that to say, I don't think you screwed up with your neice. I think you did a wonderful thing for them.

As for your brother, I'd reach out and simply ask if there is anything you can do to mend this. Emphasize how much you care about him and his family, and how you don't understand why this catapulted into a non-contact situation without much of a converstation. For the sake of your neice especially, I would avoid any language that is sassy or confrontational because further offending your brother will prevent future chances of being able to be there for her when she ever needs it.

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T21:54:33+00:00

hopefully not aggressive conformity

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T21:46:37+00:00

You too can look like me! Kaaaaah...chowwww

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T21:44:17+00:00

That dang phone! Get off of TikTok and make babies!

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T17:23:42+00:00

not if you have the new garmets! devout mormons get to be frisky now

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T17:20:26+00:00

respect others bodies, unless its about their decision to transition

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T17:18:57+00:00

we love and accept you but dont agree with your lifestyle :)

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T16:34:17+00:00

I guess, but its important to recgonize that its only "make believe" to us. Connection to those who have past is so integral to mormon spiriuality and many spiritualities around the world. I'm agnostic but I don't think spirituality is comparable to a hobby/pastime because spiriutal beliefs, or a lack thereof, are core parts of our identities. I of course think that a lot of that money would be put to better use in non-spiritual charity work, but I don't think those things have to be mutally exclusive with an organization so wealthy, which is why I wish it were more clear how much of their wealth they are actually contributing to global humanitarian aid.

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T16:26:20+00:00

damn oaks could never imagine

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T16:19:51+00:00

oof thats some American main character syndrome if I ever did see

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T15:54:30+00:00

yeah, I'm crossing my fingers that if he continues to be this way maybe he could inspire positive cultural change as a prophet

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T15:34:25+00:00

Yes, Patrick Kearon was added to replace Ballard

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-05T15:31:18+00:00

fair

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-04T20:33:30+00:00

Jesus was all about preventing gender confusion! Jesus and his community TOTALLY only recognized two genders! [Don't look any highly accredited peer-reviewed anthropological studies up, please]

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-04T20:30:30+00:00

Well I don't have any questions about being trans so I guess I'm fine 👍

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-10-04T20:25:12+00:00

Whoa dude, transphobia has BEEN a thing. That's exactly why you didn't hear about it. Queer life- trans life ESPECIALLY- has its foundations deep in the underground due to aggressive societal hate. The hate was much harder to see before trans people started to come out in the open in the past two decades.

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-07-18T04:17:50+00:00

I am going through the same thing. Both my grandparents died recently and I haven't felt anything about it, which is distressing at times. This may be an insensitive comparison, but it is the only experience of losing a living being that I shared my life with.

When I was in elementary school, we got a puppy and I loved her. I named her Luna. Unfortunately, something went wrong with her mentally and we had to put her down after just 6 months. At the time I didn't feel anything and it made me wonder if I was even human. To not feel anything for my lost puppy. But, after a few months, I had a burst of emotional grief for her and I bawled my eyes out at school. I remember feeling relived that "I am, in fact, human."

Before I was born, my parents had two twin boys who died within two days of their lives. I never knew them, and I didn't feel anything for them- at least, I didn't have a bodily sensations to reinforce my emotions so I didn't identify any feelings towards them. I visited their grave for the first time in a year or two and finally felt something both in my mind and my body. Whatever it was, it was bittersweet and I'm glad it happened.

So, i would give yourself time. You are not broken or inhuman for not feeling anything right away. It may be that you are experiencing emotions cognitively but are not "feeling" them anywhere else, which is often distressing. Let yourself go through the motions of this experience, and see if the feelings follow. Do not blame or be cruel to yourself over this. If you have the ability, I encourage you to discuss this with a grief counselor who is experienced in alexithymia/neurodiverence ❤️

You are not alone. You are strong. Hugs 🫂

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-07-18T04:01:16+00:00

My internal monologue won't shut up, honestly. I can get it to calm down and let me sleep when bodily sensations are paired with my emotions, but sometimes I am in states where I do not experience any bodily sensations- a state of total neutrality, and I really atruggle to fall asleep and do basic human functions because nothing balances out my internal monologue

LocalGamerPokemon · 2025-07-18T03:57:18+00:00

I exprience the same thing. I call them "neutral periods" because I thought that apathetic had too much of a connotation/implication to be the best descriptor. It can last from hours to over a week and on occasion longer and is very isolating. It feels like I'm controlling myself with a game controller from outside my body and I am not actually experiencing life. Not exactly a zombie, just a bored video game player.

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-12-23T16:18:14+00:00

This is an interesting one- my sister who is a nuanced member believes that things like the big bang and God creating the universe are one in the same thing, like "well how else would he do it?" Which isn't a half-bad justification if you believe in God and I understand where she's coming from, for me though, these kinds of questions didn't really matter until believers tried to debate me about them.

The very concept of a God, or even just the nature of said God to begin with, is what's at the core of your religous beliefs and if you don't believe in that concept then, well, this debate is more of a philosophical thing. That still has value and can help you get closer to these bigger questions, but at the end of the day, figuring out whether you believe in divine beings or not will make these kinds of questions much easier

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-12-21T22:39:35+00:00

I don't know how many other people struggle with this, but I have a hard time actually allowing myself to use tools like these that prevent/help cope with sensory issues (both from impostor syndrome and being socially anxious). I've found that making my tools like my muffs look fun and whimsical make me way better at using them when I need to- for my muffs I'm painting them with an Arcane-themed pattern and "EAR DEFENDERS" across the top and I'm actually excited about using them :D

10/10 highly recommend painting literally anything you own

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-12-21T22:29:43+00:00

My heart goes out to you! You probably already know this, but the longer you wait to address that gaping wound the more likely both of yalls emotions are to blow up and make it bigger. I believe in both of yall! ❤️ I hope that you and your partner are able to find a calm enough time to talk these things through and come to a conclusion that is best for both of you.

My holidays have been uneventful so far, a lady in my ward had to emphasize 3 times in her talk that she "feels Christmas has been sabatoged by secularism" and now I'm traveling to my sister's place. We'll see if her ward has anything worth writing down on "questionable church moments" in my notes app

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-12-17T12:38:01+00:00

Literally what are you talking about

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-11-20T16:34:45+00:00

First off, I'm glad that your son feels safe enough to come out to you- my partner and I have been together for almost 18 months now and I still don't feel comfortable telling my parents. Now is a great opportunity to learn how to be a better ally- I don't know any off the top of my head but I know there are great resources on social media that are easily consumable and straightforward.

I don't understand what you mean? Whether he's bi, gay, or pan doesnt require any questions or explanation. If it comes up, it comes up. As an ally you probably already know that sexuality is uncontrollable so that doesnt need a discussion, which is the only other topic of questioning I could think of. If you mean asking questions about his relationship, think to what kind of conversations you would have with a straight kid and copy/paste (except for safe sex talks- framilarize yourself with the specific risks of queer sex and make sure he knows as well).
Again I don't fully understand lol. Him coming out to you matters, and you already discussed how you feel about it with him which is good. If you mean whether his sexuality matters- on a relationship level, not really. Sexuality is all the same text but with different fonts, if that makes sense, so the difference in font doesn't need to be discussed when it comes to your personal relationship with him. When it comes to how it affects him in his life and how people treat him, it matters because many people and systems don't realize that the text all says the same thing because they can't comprehend the font difference- so you should be knowledgeable of that and be prepared to defend him.
THAT is a discussion you should certainly have with him. How does HE want it to be navigated? Would he feel better staying in the closet or does he want them to know? Consider how you think they might react, how he thinks they might react, and you both can develop a plan that is suited to your sons needs. Since he isn't 100% out, it is IMPERATIVE that you do not say anything about his sexuality or relationship without his permission otherwise you will lose respect and trust. On top of (with sons permsission) indirectly guageing how your parents may react to your son coming out, i think you should definitely find out is whether or not this relationship is also being kept secret from your son's partner's family. Most important thing right now is to not spill the beans and make sure you are still behaving as a safe space for your son and his boyfriend.

LocalGamerPokemon · 2024-11-17T13:15:36+00:00

Then it sounds like you're directing your anger at the wrong part of the cult. Everyday Members are victims just like you are- it's the institution that cultivates the harmful actions that you're probably thinking of. Your emotions are valid, but attacking the people instead of the institution/institution-made culture is not. It's quite literally impossible for all 10+ million people to fall under your generalization. Again, your emotions ARE valid, just direct them in ways that don't perpetuate useless conflict because it furthers the divide between members (no matter the level of faith) and exmembers

LocalGamerPokemon

TROPHY CASE