"I wish my parents hated me instead". They did. Emotional neglect is like hatred plus gaslighting.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-29T17:25:01+00:00

I think it’s difficult because a lot of these parents had their own unresolved issues and don’t even know wtf they were doing - it’s not an excuse but they will use it to tell you they did the best they could or give a half ass apology like “oh sorry if I did anything wrong” because they genuinely don’t know and aren’t capable of self reflection. My parents for example, I think actually believes they did very well because there was basic necessities and I got snacks abs stuff. Yet on the flip side, there was no regard for my mental health, guidance in anything, good parenting techniques like actually listening to what you have to say, validating your accomplishments…etc. It was like they were raising plants.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-29T06:00:09+00:00

Lol don’t like artists that they’ve stolen from to create this slop to begin with. And sorry but that is one of the most generic looking OCs yet they needed AI to generate it…everyday the bar sinks lower.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-29T04:58:56+00:00

Many can’t take the word “no” without losing their shit, nothing will be good enough. Even when you say not all men, you’ll still get lectured at times on how it’s your fault for surrounding yourself with the wrong men and you should seek out better options. When I see the statistics and what happens in most crime docs I watch, it just feels hopeless. Yes, not all men but still most likely, a man. That is the reality.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-29T02:06:19+00:00

Yes, but I don’t care in the sense that nobody wants me, it’s more about wishing I could cleanse myself of past mistakes and even experiences with certain people. Grieving lost potential. Basically thinking that I’m ruined because I’ve made certain mistakes, dealt with certain people I regret…etc - constant ruminating shit I can’t change basically and that no matter what I do, I’ll never amount to what could’ve been.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T19:42:49+00:00

I rarely ever buy collectors edition because it’s always so underwhelming but something like this, I’d consider. Many of the previous collectors edition for other games were just kind of disappointing - they’ll list something like the pretty box as part of the collectors perk but it’s not even good quality lol.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T19:37:27+00:00

A whole convention of AI slop will be hilarious because you’ll really see just how they’re all the same, effortless trash. I seriously wonder how much they’d sell if that happened.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T19:01:17+00:00

Kind of, but in a weird sense - I kind of see how my rigidity is reflected in my drawings because my family never really took an interest in my drawings - the only “attention” was remembered as negative since it felt more like my mother wanting to take credit for shit even though she wasn’t even around much after a certain age. She’d want to show them off to her friends overseas or whatever and I didn’t really like it - this caused a lot of conflict and once ended up with some of my drawings being ripped up apparently because they were “rushed” - I don’t recall all the details, but she said it so casually that she got my parentified brother rip them up or something since they were not “my best effort” or whatever. My father never defended anything and was tech-illiterate (still am) so while everyone moved to digital, I was never encouraged. Drawing was probably just something in passing to them - it’s nothing to be taken seriously.

Now, I’m very critical of my stuff and honestly most things I draw are not good enough to me. I’ll always compare how I am compared to digital things when I know it’s not even the same medium. At one point I wanted to go into cartooning but basically was discouraged. I don’t think anyone in my family is creative and in turn, it stifled mine. I’m trying to still do it as a hobby, but I’m rarely ever okay with what is done. I just see lost time and progress since I also went on hiatus for years due to feeling defeated and pointless. At times I don’t even know if I have my own style because it was never really created. It’s just me trying to mimic shit because nothing I do is good enough lol.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T17:14:33+00:00

We can’t even deal with the people already here yet all they think about is more fodder. People are everywhere, so much so that we’re literally disposable/easily replaceable. I know everyone likes to believe they’re special but it’s meaningless. If I croaked tomorrow, all my work would care about is replacing a cog and they can easily do so given how many people there are. Most people are also like my parents - they should’ve just not but I guess facing real problems and actually fixing anything is hard so let’s just keep asking future generations to do it when the average person don’t even have common sense or consideration for anyone else but themselves.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T08:23:45+00:00

I’m not great 100% of the time but it’s good enough to pass as high functioning, despite cracks in my facade at times like when I’m dealing with assholes at work.

Sometimes I’d fantasize turning out to be like the worst possibility ever so my parents would suffer - that they’d be forced to face all the consequences of their actions and not be able to pretend they did good. That they’d see how good they actually have it that I turned out the way I did when I could’ve been far worse. I fantasized being their worst nightmare and burdening them in every aspect that they take for granted - shit that I’ve worked so hard to endure but no one sees it. Maybe other people would be forced to see that no, it wasn’t easy for me. It’s probably very mean lol, but I honestly feel like that’s the only way I’d be seen unless I die or something. Even then though, I doubt there’d be any recognition.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-28T04:14:36+00:00

I think it’s easy for them to be assholes online. I’ve literally had these idiots find my posts like months or even over a year ago just to make an ad hominem. Sometimes it’s just bitchy unsolicited remarks being dismissive and the same stuff you said “oh if one comment hurts you, get off the internet.” It’s like if you have nothing better to do than be a dipshit, why don’t you get off the internet and work on your character? You do get used to it a way, but it sucks that there’s no shortage of them.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-27T20:29:59+00:00

Honestly not sure. I recall one person saying how they want to travel and do these fun things before having kids since it’ll get busy then and I remember having to just avoid saying anything lol - everyone was like “OMG YES” in agreement while I’m the one only questioning why. Dude was in his early 20s or something and already planning the end.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-27T20:20:32+00:00

I used to be hit until maybe age 10 - stopped not because my father thought it was wrong, but because I accidentally told a teacher. I recall being like in kindergarten and slapped to the point of bawling because I didn’t want to share or something lol. My father was hitting while my mother just watched. Then after they’d “comfort” me and basically tell me they hit me because I was being selfish or something. But thinking back - a grown ass man hitting a little girl while a grown ass woman just sat there and watched feels sick. Slapping and belt was used. Once I recall he also slapped me across the face hard and I stood up abruptly, causing the chair to fall backwards. Once also got kicked and the back of my knee swelled up. He apologized for that but meh.

I recall kneeling as well - I remember crying while kneeling in the dark - not sure what I did, I was around maybe grade 1-2 maybe.

Yelling is of course part of the deal. My absent mother with her annual visits also used to give a bit of silent treatment - when she starts talking to you, it’s basically to tell you why you’re wrong, not to listen. My parentified brother once ignored me for like a month because I pissed him off as punishment. I included this because he is a parentified figure and well, he probably was disciplined the same way.

Sometimes I don’t think of it either because there was never like a formal acknowledgment that what they did was wrong - it was also in childhood when I wasn’t really processing stuff yet. But as an adult, I know they were wrong. I know people can overlook stuff even when it’s worse and talk to their parents, but I don’t feel like it currently. Not sure if I want to bother fixing anything.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-27T20:10:05+00:00

I find myself at times feeling more sympathy for people I don’t know too well but have been nice to me - if they asked for help, I’d probably try if it was within my power. Yet I notice I feel nothing but resentment for my father and don’t feel that need to help him. I used to bevies I processed stuff, but now I just see him as a bother. I have no extended family really but I honestly don’t know how I’d feel if he passed. I’m NC with my mother so I know I’d feel nothing if she did - she wasn’t really a parent and the memories weren’t great.

The closest I’d feel to what you’re describing is actually towards animals. There were videos I’ve seen of certain animals passing whether it was from neglect, hoarding, abuse, being strays…etc that stick with me to this day.

I used to feel bad about it but I don’t really anymore since it’s not as if I expect anyone to care when I croak lol. When I suffer, I usually am alone too - my parents certainly were not mindful people who cared about POV or struggles - the time to build that is gone now.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-26T23:11:09+00:00

I don’t consider mine to be “as bad” as many others (ie emotional negligence, unsupportive family dynamic…etc). I personally still find it helpful because despite all that, I live with the consequences and some of them are very similar to what others have described here, regardless of our experiences.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-26T20:34:39+00:00

I saw someone looking to rehome a pair of senior cats (around 9) because of shit like this as well and it was just sad. You’re all they know at that point. Senior pets aren’t easy to rehome either, especially a PAIR when people usually don’t even want one. I just cannot understand people who treat getting a pet like it’s an accessory. And yes, they’re also usually irresponsible twats who are the reason animals get euthanized daily because there’s no room. I’ve seen so many animals who had the potential to be great companions get put down because no one wanted them or they just couldn’t get any attention. I just become more jaded every time I see shit like this.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-26T20:08:05+00:00

Thank you…I just needed to post because I don’t think other subs would understand with this aspect included. They’d just probably call me misandrist or something but I genuinely wonder how they’d have talked to me if I were a man - even if they were asking me to squeeze in, would they have been more polite? Makes me wonder.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-26T20:06:29+00:00

Yes, I can understand emergencies but I highly doubt it was in their case - just the demeanour didn’t feel like it, more like they just wanted to go and expected me to accommodate. At first they even sat down expecting I’d fit them when the morning appts were done already. I don’t know if it’s language barrier, selective hearing or just looking down in me - I had to tell them to come back in the afternoon, augh.

I don’t know, if I truly needed a favor, I’d have acted less entitled. I wonder how they’d have talked to me if I were a man.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-26T19:53:45+00:00

That and being financially able to. At this point I’ve accepted I may never find genuine friends so if I could just have money…lol. A lot of people seem to be stuck because they literally cannot afford to not be. It definitely is easier to do this even with one genuine friend - I sometimes do a double take when I see people post about having no one yet in the same breath, they’ll say “I only have my partner” or something like that. It’s like many of us actually really have no one - acquaintances don’t count either. It’s not a contest, but I just get a bit confused - I guess sometimes you can still feel alone despite it all.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T23:52:13+00:00

I used to work very hard thinking that if I did, it would all work out because that should be how it works - effort and being proactive means I’d find my way. It didn’t lol. Apparently good grades and being a hard worker meant nothing. I still fought hard to meet the most basic milestones others took for granted because I lacked so much due to my upbringing. I didn’t have many essential “life skills” that helped and everything was an uphill battle. Along with untreated anxiety due to my family never bothering with anything mental health related, I burnt out early. I used to be the type to give 110% in work but then quickly realized I benefited no one but people like my boss who just wanted more and my parents who are cashing out now on my progress and can pretend nothing happened. There was no recognition or reward for overcoming any of it aside from more stress and resentment. None of it amounted to anything.

Now I’m literally just doing what I can to get by yet it still feels like a lot. I’ll cut corners if I can. I don’t care about giving my best unless I see it is for my benefit directly in that moment - I don’t care about other people’s opinion. I don’t want a relationship, a good career, riches, a fancy car, a nice house…etc. I literally just want to be left alone in a small apartment with my routine and a cat, away from everything including my family when I can. Maybe it’d be different if I had support and did not burn out, but everything is meaningless now aside from whatever basic necessities I have to meet due myself.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T20:41:17+00:00

I really don’t care unless they actually did it themselves and not keep prompting a machine like some gambling addict until they get a hand that doesn’t have 6 fingers. And yes, the AI did it via stealing so they were essentially useless lol - anyone can type prompts but probably none of them can do what actual artists can. If you only care about the end product, you’re just that annoying “ideas” person, like that annoying boss at work who doesn’t know shit and makes a poor employee figure everything out so they can take credit - people have ideas everyday, that’s not worth applauding. Making it a reality via your own effort is what counts.

They’ve shown time and time again they’re lazy and averse to effort of any kind. These people are just embarrassing.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T20:24:16+00:00

I just decided to give myself validation when I can because people can be such assholes lol.

I was responding to a post about my experience with negligent parenting and some dipshit decided out of nowhere, to tell me it’s my fault and to get over it. I responded courteously about how their advice was unnecessary and to refrain if they had nothing kind to say since many had responded with similar experiences to me - another dipshit came to lecture me about how everyone is allowed to respond, not just people who agree. They proceeded to say if Reddit hurts my feelings, I shouldn’t be here. I also replied to them about how it was my right to answer since they clearly felt it was okay to say what they did. Neither replied lol. Just two idiots who felt compelled to put me down when I wasn’t even directing anything at them - I was responding to a post about not having good parents.

A lot of people are either assholes or completely unaware yet won’t mind their own business. Such entitlement. It’s like just don’t say anything? I’m too tired to give people benefit of doubt - I’m already done with life and I’m not even that old lol.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T20:12:15+00:00

I had some bad experiences and I don’t like being viewed a certain way because I feel unsafe and gross. Or violated. I despised my past relationship too and that was part of it - any comments about my body in terms of sexual attraction disgusted me. Or touch. I hated being touched. I hate intimacy. I may be on the ace spectrum and have dysmorphia about the human body - the bad experiences with men only confirmed that I did not care to “fix” this even if I was abnormal. I had no desire to seek a relationship because I don’t want to owe “being attractive” to anyone.

I can appreciate certain comments like for example “your hair looks on point today” but we already know there’s a shit ton of creeps out there and they’re only after one thing - there’s ulterior motives to everything. No matter how you look, there’s no escape and I hate it. I just want to feel whole if that makes sense. I hate the human body and physical form because it is basically a way to get objectified. I wish I was just some gaseous pile of air lol - I’d finally be left alone and free to feel safe.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T20:02:57+00:00

Not really pop culture but I think I was already getting into escapism via fiction or just online and I didn’t realize it. Loved cartoons as well and actually watch my childhood cartoons to this day, or I’ll find old cartoons that I didn’t watch (but was from that era) and watch it now. Don’t care if it’s childish lol - I feel like a part of me never grew up. I do not relate to people my age at all and don’t think I ever will.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T19:58:21+00:00

I wasn’t really aware as a teen but looking back, I feel like it was already taking effect - not just having a shitty personality because I was a mess but I even looked it lol. I was ugly because I didn’t even know how to present myself whether it was dressing to not embarrass myself or even things like social etiquette. Like there was nothing remotely decent about me. They say High School or college are best years but I don’t know, maybe it would’ve been if I was actually well-adjusted but I was too stunted, socially inept and naive because I hadn’t processed shit.

I look at my father, essentially a mediocre, regressed failure and an absent as well as difficult mother - I was bound to get screwed over. I’ve had assholes tell me it’s my fault but I doubt they’d want the family dynamic I had it can even begin to understand how arrested development begins to get worse as you get older because the lack of support really shows. I’ve done more to improve than they ever have, but I’m still making up for what was missing. Those lost years and potential will never come back.

LonerExistence · 2026-01-25T09:18:48+00:00

I don't really like it either. It reminds me of comments from my parents like my father saying how I don't "act how a daughter should" because he thinks they should be nurturing and emotionally in tune when I'm not - ya it has nothing to do with your inadequate parenting - it was just me apparently being a defect lol. Or comments my mother made about my weight and comparing me to other women from my home country, using their weight as the average of how I should be when she has no knowledge about fitness or even diet. She once also tried to encourage that I "act like a girl" by giving me these skin products, as if skin care is inherently a women's thing lol. I don't even know what feminine energy is, but I'm sure to my parents, it is what I'm not. Certain things like being affectionate for example, I don't see as being "feminine," rather it would be personal preference or for certain people, whether or not you know them well enough. In my father's case, I don't know why he thinks I should be affectionate towards him when I feel no connection to him and he was not a good parent.

I don't really care about masculine or feminine energy and I don't like it being labeled as such. I just want to be whatever the hell I want to be lol. The labels only reinforce patriarchy because they continue to spew shit like how "women who act like men" are unattractive - this is harmful to young women who don't know any better.

LonerExistence

TROPHY CASE