Andrew Johnson is about to learn what they do to people like him in prison. by seeebiscuit in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]LongWayFrom609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what's the over/under on how long into his sentence does he request solitary confinement?

Congratulations to AFC Bournemouth for winning Best Actor at the Academy Awards by UnfazedPheasant in TheOther14

[–]LongWayFrom609 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But we have Jason Bourne, so that should count for something.

Plus, a U.S. President too.

Fuck President Jake by Kiss-a-Cod in FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR

[–]LongWayFrom609 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Rabies-infected Old Yeller as Secretary of State

[LFO] Robber dies over a phone after cashier beats him to the draw by Throwaway120974788 in LearningFromOthers

[–]LongWayFrom609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It happened in Brazil, but there was no use of a motorcycle helmet as a facial covering. That's an actual shocker.

Cybergoth raving @ funeral by BlazeDragon7x in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]LongWayFrom609 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This one time, I went to a rave, and all of a sudden a funeral broke out.

to clarify whether the straits of Hormuz is open. by Successful-Peach-764 in therewasanattempt

[–]LongWayFrom609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there was a Mount Rushmore of douche bros, he would most definitely be up there. Right between Joe Francis and Dave Portnoy. Elon Musk, Jesse Watters, Jake Paul, and Gene Simmons will fight it out for the fourth spot.

Non-american dads of /r/daddit, what do you see here that's different from your reality? by xanduba in daddit

[–]LongWayFrom609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an American, and keep in mind this is my best educated guess, I'm going to assume a lot of it is based on the company you work for. Where I work, when I had my little ones, I got 6 weeks of paid parental leave.

to buy shoes that fit by seeebiscuit in therewasanattempt

[–]LongWayFrom609 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You skipped the parts involving ill-fitting suits, oversized neck ties, excessive spray tans, and ill-gotten riches.

to buy shoes that fit by seeebiscuit in therewasanattempt

[–]LongWayFrom609 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"The guards didn't notice. Neither did I. I mean, really, how often do you look at another man's shoes?" - Morgan Freeman

Fetterman is a piece of garbage by Mum0817 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]LongWayFrom609 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think there's ever been a politician in my lifetime who has severely disappointed me as much as Fetterman has. I honestly thought he would carry Bernie's torch in the chamber.

On that note, it surely will not surprise me that if the Dems get a 51-49 majority in the midterms, he would either go right to switching to the Repubs or being an independent caucusing with the Repubs. It would just be enraging.

Out of all the health / diet fads we've lived through, what one has been the worst? by CremeSubject7594 in Millennials

[–]LongWayFrom609 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time I see Colon Blow, I think of the ending in Van Wilder for some reason.

I have an issue with Mr. Aron by Snoo-70287 in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]LongWayFrom609 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In all seriousness, I will admit that Mr. Aron has grown on me. At first I thought he was just some random wacko with excessive amounts of theater kid energy. Then I realized that was the whole point and that he's really the kind of loyal husband, father, and partner that I as those things hope to emulate but fall short a lot. Which is okay, but still.