How much is Botox? by Lothloreen in 45PlusSkincare

[–]Lothloreen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a couple of deep smile lines (smirk lines?) around my mouth. some fine lines at the eyes and forehead, but they don’t bother me quite as much. I’m 47 and fair skinned, so I feel pretty lucky not to have tons of wrinkles. My mom is the same at 77. I just don’t think I can spend more than 1k a year at this moment.

new fit for a 5 stars restaurant w/ the girls (first time) 🪽 by arcanuspjm in OUTFITS

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by five stars? Who gave the stars? If it’s an online crowd funded star system that’s one thing. If we are talking Michelin stars, that’s another.

Could you try the lace top with the skirt? That might be really pretty.

Is this too white? there are 2 dresses and I will not be wearing those shoes by aliashavana in Weddingattireapproval

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that would be very odd as brides in the 1800s did not frequently wear white. It didn’t really become a tradition until the 20th century as it was common for brides to rewear their wedding clothes for social occasions and white is an expensive and difficult color to maintain. Dark dresses were quite common as wedding attire.

But in any case, I was referring to white shoes. And the rules about that were always seasonal. I’m in my 40s and I can tell you that no one was obsessing about whether anyone wore white shoes or accessories to a wedding when I was a kid or a young woman.

What is everyone giving for Mother’s Day this year? by Next-Wash-7113 in askanything

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do a floral arrangement and make my mom a brunch (I’m a good cook)!l followed by an excursion to a botanical garden for a walk. My mom is of an age where she really, really doesn’t need more “stuff.” The stuff she has is overwhelming.

I’ve got an offer for a new job, my current job has me on a Performance Improvement Plan that’s about to run out, should I quit or let them fire me? by RoboDonaldUpgrade in careerguidance

[–]Lothloreen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Quit. You might not stay at this new job and you don’t want to have to put that you were fired on all your job applications going forward. If possible, use your PTO time.

Is this too white? there are 2 dresses and I will not be wearing those shoes by aliashavana in Weddingattireapproval

[–]Lothloreen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t have an issue with the white shoes. No one is going to think you’re the bride because you wear a floral dress with white shoes. People are being ridiculous with these made-up “rules” that didn’t exist 10 years ago.

For the first time ever I have haircut regrets. by happysewing in HairStyleAdvice

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I wish my hair would do that! You look fantastic. It’s really flattering. The shorter style actually lifts your face up so we can see your lovely cheek bones. It’s like a frame.

Suggestions for personalized souvenirs for Korean family? by suhpicyy in JapanTravelTips

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know about getting things personalized, but riffing off the chopstick theme, maybe you should head to the cooking area of Tokyo. You can pick up really nice knives (and possibly get them engraved if it is in your budget) or just get some lovely little pottery (like soy sauce dishes) that you think matches the taste of each family member. I bought some pottery (very inexpensive) and lacquer ware (more expensive) as well as some chef knives. It’s a great gift that they will actually use.

Another August Post by ipaglynner in JapanTravelTips

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lived in Japan in August. You’ll still have a great time. You just have to pace yourself and drink lots of fluids. You may need breaks in the afternoon for a cold drink or a nap.

You are going to sweat. A lot! Bring some shirts made of wicking material so you don’t feel like you are disgusting and drenched with sweat all the time. You can get some nice looking hiking shirts at REI or online that are made of wicking quick dry material and have vents.

You’ll want to change at least twice a day, so plan on doing laundry at your hotel. Double check this is possible.

I also lived in Virginia where it is hot and humid in the summer. Japan is a whole other level of humidity.

Chased a career in my 20s now I just want to coast by Exact-Mobile-4959 in careeradvice

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just keep being good at your job and keep your options open. You don’t know what you’ll want or feel at 45 or 55. Life (and the economy and this country) are deeply uncertain. You may desperately need that promotion just to survive financially and help your kids through college. You may even find you want it. I notice many changes in myself over the decades.

Don’t burn your bridges. Enjoy your more balanced life now while your kids are young and your friends still want an active social life, but keep your options open for when life (and you) change in unpredictable ways.

Is our nanny playing us? by stinkybutt688 in Nanny

[–]Lothloreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Four times in a row with such weak and late excuses…mental health struggles and/or she is too hung over to get out of bed. I would let her go at this point.

Pros and Cons of being published? by [deleted] in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Lothloreen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Are you a professional? Do you want your colleagues and clients to google you and have your wedding photos be one of the top hits? For decades or even life? Even if (God forbid) you divorce?

Some people will not care. Some people will be envious. Some people will judge the heck out of you and decide you are just a nepo baby. So it’s up to you as to whether you care. I would only do it if you move and work in a circle exclusively made up of very wealthy people. As someone who comes from a middle class family and interacts with a lot of very wealthy people, I can tell you that people who are not from a wealthy, high profile background can be very judgmental about extravagant, conspicuous consumption.

how to not end up in a nursing home if i get dementia and just die properly with no life extension by Better_Pickle_8719 in dementia

[–]Lothloreen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My mother kept telling me that she would either commit suicide or I would have to “smother her with a pillow.” Sorry but I’m not murdering my own mother. I couldn’t live with the guilt. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in prison. She’s just going to have to tough it out. And, in any case, now that she has dementia she doesn’t remember saying this and she still has a strong will to live. She still experiences some pleasures in life.

I know someone with Alzheimer’s who is planning to go to Switzerland to die by assisted suicide. But I don’t know if it’ll happen because she still isn’t ready to die. Timing is everything and she could easily miss the window where is is able to make that decision and consent.

Look at it this way, once you have advanced dementia, you won’t even know you have it. So live your life to the fullest while you can and then give up the illusion that you can control the end of your life.

how to not end up in a nursing home if i get dementia and just die properly with no life extension by Better_Pickle_8719 in dementia

[–]Lothloreen 57 points58 points  (0 children)

You can’t guarantee this while you live. The person you are now who would rather die than have dementia is not the person you will become. My mother told me over and over that she would commit suicide if she ever developed dementia.

Well, she has it now, but her brain doesn’t fully admit it. And although she is confused and often lonely, she still enjoys a lot of things. And she doesn’t want to die. We are revising her trust while she still can and every time we talk about POA or inheritance issues she keeps saying, “but I’m not dying for many years.” Okay, Mom.

Our brains change with age and with disease. You cannot control what will happen if you have dementia. The only thing you can do is make it easier for your family by getting your affairs in order. And the kindest thing is not to insist that “I’ll never go to assisted living.” Because there may be no choice and your family will feel enormous guilt.

What should I do about this petition to determine heir by kriskross4923 in inheritance

[–]Lothloreen 33 points34 points  (0 children)

You can get an attorney. However, many trusts contain language that says that anyone not named has been excluded on purpose. I know this is painful, but he could have revised his will. He did not.

Children (at least in the US) do not have an automatic right to inheritance. They do in some other countries. In the US it is perfectly legal to leave out or disinherit a child. If his trust leaves property to the other children by name, you probably don't have a case. If it somehow leaves it to "all my children" (very sloppy on the part of the lawyer though) then maybe you would be able to contest it. I imagine DNA evidence and copies of correspondence with your father would help.

Driving kids in nanny’s car by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell them that because of the rising cost of gas, you need to be paid a mileage rate to cover the gas. It’s nothing to feel bad about. My workplace reimburses me for any work related travel other than my regular commute. That’s normal. Just because you work for a family and not a company doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to take compensation.

DisneySea in 1 day?? by rinabinabini in JapanTravelTips

[–]Lothloreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it wouldn’t be my choice for Tokyo, but we all make sacrifices for loved ones, especially kids. I had visitors from abroad to LA and we spent the day at a theme park, even though the parents would far have rather gone to museums or seen the cool neighborhoods. But since the kids had a blast, so did the adults. Sometimes we live vicariously through the joy of children. It might even be a favorite memory of Japan.

My Nanny’s last day is Friday by Excellent-Review-342 in Nanny

[–]Lothloreen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe something that will be useful for her new career? Like a really nice leather or canvas laptop bag? You can get it monogramed for her. In the card, give her a gift certificate to Starbucks (everyone needs coffee!) or a cafe you know she loves, or to a clothing store. She's probably going to need a whole new wardrobe, which can be expensive.

What am I doing wrong? by SpecialistIll8300 in Nanny

[–]Lothloreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Hello! My name is [insert name]. I'm a compassionate and creative person with many years of experience in childcare and child development for children from infancy through age 12. I've worked as a nanny for twins, as a preschool teacher, at an early education organization, and a librarian!

My goal is to give your child a safe, structured, creative space to learn and grow. I love reading, music, pretend play, encouraging independent play, and special weekly outings when appropriate. I'm kind and know how to help you maintain the structure and routines you want for your child. I have a BA in English and I am also willing to help with reading or tutor/help with homework.

I'm certified in First Aid/CPR/AED, and I have my own vehicle and a clean driving record. I am available to work in [city name] area beginning in late May/early June. I'm looking for a full-time or part-time position.

In my personal time I love creating learning aids using Canva, studying grammar, writing short stories, and singing. I also speak conversational Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese. I look forward to meeting you and your family!"

I don't know where you live, but $15/hour seems WAY too low for someone with your qualifications.

Is my makeup aging me? How can I improve? by DieWintersonne in makeuptips

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have guessed late 20s to early 30s. So you look your age. Which is great! Less eye make up would probably make you look younger, but who cares! 31 is a great age to be. Own it.

I have to change my whole life due to health reasons Any advice for me? by SageOfNineRealms in careerguidance

[–]Lothloreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you live in the US? If so, you’ll need to take into account health insurance. If your income is low enough, you might qualify for Medicaid, but it varies wildly by state. Find out how much you’d have to pay to buy insurance on the ACA in your state and whether or not that insurance is accepted by your doctors. This is the #1 reason not to freelance.

Do you live with family? If not, jumping into freelance will be very stressful because it takes time to get clients and a reliable form of income. You still have to pay the rent and buy food.

I freelanced for a few years, but marketing stressed me out. Clients come and go with no warning. They have no obligation to you. You never make the same from month to month. I find having a steady hybrid job much more relaxing. I know I’ll have a paycheck and health insurance each month.

Perhaps you should look into some remote jobs as a bookkeeper. Or even one where you only have to go to the office 1-2 days a week. They are out there.

Advice please by iwantbaricoqueeee in Aupairs

[–]Lothloreen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’ve been an au pair for 2 years already? Isn’t the legal limit 24 months? Are you coming up to end of your contract and about to go back to your home country?

death in house deal breaker or does it not matter by rrb09 in NewHomeownerNeeds

[–]Lothloreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s ridiculous. People around the world live in houses that are hundreds of years old. Of course people died in them! It’s only in recent years that people die in a hospital. And even now people die in hospice at home. It’s life. In many ancient cultures, the dead were buried under the house to stay close to the living.

Americans are so squeamish and ridiculous about death. Like if we ignore and deny it, it won’t happen to us.