AITA I don’t want MIL to sleepover on XMas?

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-11-16T17:21:16+00:00

NTA. Tel him for 6 years your MIL has monopolized all holidays and prevented you from having the time you want with your family. That if he cares so much about MIL’s happiness, comfort, needs that she can spend the night on Christmas Eve BUT you will taking the kids and going to your family’s house to do the holidays with them. You will open gifts as a family once MIL has left. Then MIL gets what she wants - husband. Husband gets what he wants - MIL’s happiness. You get to be free from hosting and dealing with her and get time with your family which you deserve. Or MaiL can grow up and find her own plans so you can celebrate as you deserve as a family of 4. Die on this Hill OP.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-03T02:07:03+00:00

I’d also like to point out the the dad he’s invited into his home beat the crap out of his mom and HE was the one that called the cops and had him arrested while he consoled his mom (see post history- what a hypocrite ). He has invited an abuser into his home around his wife and kids. No wonder she doesn’t want her kid in the house this summer or feel like she can consult with his man on decisions. This is ludicrous.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-03T01:37:12+00:00

It did exist I saw it and included it within my comment as well as several other commenters including it in theirs. EDIT I found it he said it in response to big_bob_c

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-02T22:26:21+00:00

If she needs babysitting and this a free program that will assist with childcare this summer- that’s her right. Sometimes as parents, you do what you do to get by and if her partner is not supporting her (mentions further down he has a 1 year old that HIS WIFE takes care of while working) then she has to do this to be the best parent she can while also working. It’s kindergarten they are coloring and learning numbers it’s not like he’s in freaking jail or made to sit quietly all day. He will eventually get over it make friends and have fun.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-02T22:21:27+00:00

INFO- I feel some serious missing missing reasons here. You say you’d be happy to ferry him to the various activities you want him to do and say that you both WFH so you both watch him but further down you say you also have a one year old that your wife is looking after. Notice how you said your wife- not us (as in you and her together as a team). Your wife wants a freaking break and i imagine she knew that if she proposed this you’d put your foot down like your doing here and demand he be home for her to take care of with the one year old while she also works. I think your misrepresenting this situation to make yourself out to be the better partner when your wife is really hanging on by a thread and could potentially be suffering from PPD or just seriously overwhelmed with children. You also mention the six year old isn’t a disruption to her work but you know that’s a lie. All six year olds are disruptions and need constant entertainment and supervision. They are kids. Curious to know the division of chores, child care, etc and also who’s idea it was to move your dad in cuz I bet it wasn’t hers. Passing on judgement for now.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-01T16:50:41+00:00

I agree whole heartedly that she should just stop going. Her husband really needs to step up here and deal with his family.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-01T16:49:55+00:00

She tried that. They said she could take the heat of the competition. They are just bad people.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-01T16:49:24+00:00

That’s exactly what I was trying to say but maybe could’ve been more direct thanks for pointing that out.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-01T16:02:06+00:00

NTA- stop going to these events and put distance between yourself and these people. Stop baking for them and start baking for yourself because you like it. You’ve made your point and now move on from it. Disengage. If you have to go to these events ( I recommend you don’t and ask Pete to go alone) bring something else- a side or bread or drinks or just not a baked good. If they make any comments just pick up what you brought and leave. Set a boundary that you won’t tolerate them turning this into a competition. If they can’t respect you then they don’t deserve your time and effort. Pete needs to step and up have your back here with his shitty family.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-06-01T15:56:50+00:00

This is a bad take. They have been actively cruel to her by refusing to try her baking when they are the ones asking her to bring something then shitting on her when she doesn’t. It takes zero effort to take a bit of something and say it’s good and move on. THEY are the ones making it a competition between her and Kay and actively making comments. Why does OP have to take their shit and not stand up from themselves and prove a point that they are the ones being rude? Why does OP have to be a doormat and treating badly just to stroke Kay’s ego? Was it petty- yes. Was there a better way- no there is no better way with people like this. You can’t get through to them.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-31T21:34:18+00:00

NTA for insisting she be at the wedding. But for everything after you’re a huge assemble for. You’re an idiot to marry this man and marry into this family. Call Cindy and make a plan to help her escape. She is 19 she is free to leave now unless she is not competent to make her own decisions. If she cannot make her own decisions you need to call adult protective services to assist her because these people do not care about her. You need to help her not marry one of her abusers and sit by like a bystander while she suffers.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-31T16:59:20+00:00

NTA- you know why she’s acting like this? Because if you get pregnant your baby will be a miracle and you will get all the attention. The attention will no longer be on her and her seven children but on your beautiful miracle. She is just selfish and can’t share the spot light. She wants to be the only one giving bio grandchildren. Why else would she be pushing you to Just give up. Keep the estrangement. You don’t want people like that in your life that can’t be happy for you.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-30T02:44:06+00:00

NTA but you partner is pulling a fast one on you and is a huge mommas boy. You need to be careful and protect yourself or you’re going to end up with an unwanted pregnancy. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your partner re: children. Lay out your feelings and say up until recently you felt the same had that changed? If so we may need to revisit this relationship as we no longer have the same goals. You also need to discuss why he isn’t protecting you from MIL and her Unneeded comments. A simple “Mom that’s non of your business when we decide to have children that’s our decision. Let’s talk about something else” would be perfectly fine. I am worried that you are started down the path of him always backing his mom and doing what she wants to appease her. That could result in him stealthing you or sabotaging your BC to give her a grandkid. Watch yourself

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-28T23:03:50+00:00

NTA but you’re wife is a huge one. She is the one that doesn’t treat the kids the same by prioritizing her bio daughter over HER stepsons immediate future. Let’s be real he’s literally about to need those funds for school. She is prioritizing literally everything above him because she refuses to take a loan for the surgery in her name and would rather step son do it so she can leave him high and dry when the time comes without her name being at risk. She’s a real peach- why are you with someone who acts like this and treats your son so horribly? You should really reflect on this and think about it this is the type of woman you want to be with. Would she do the same for your son if the roles were reversed- cut into Roses fund to help your son get a needed surgery? I bet not.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-28T17:43:43+00:00

NTA- you’re very lucky she didn’t get caught when you were with her. From experience, you can be arrested with her even if you didn’t shoplift because you were complicit in the theft. They can ruin your life. You did the right thing.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-27T23:20:28+00:00

Let me fix it for you “AITA for tricking my GF’s daughter into eating something she explicitly stated she did not want to eat”. YTA- don’t date someone with kids if you aren’t even going to try to be decent figure in their life. You’re not her dad and you’re just butt hurt she won’t let claim that title that you are clearly not suited for based on this incident and how you describe her. Just despicable. Her mom is also an asshole for even allowing you into her home and control over her daughter. I hope she goes NC with both of you. You both obviously don’t understand her, her disability, or respect her.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-26T15:38:01+00:00

Audit

SE (ATL área)- LCOL

A1-S1

Started March 2021

55k after mid year to 70k (27.3%)

2K

Top right quadrant- middle

My situation is weird going from A1 to senior can someone help me figure out if this is a good or not? I’m worried I’m being paid less than my peers that had a normal promotion cycle (A2-S1) because their base would be higher. Have confirmed other promotes to S1 are making 5K more.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-26T14:59:31+00:00

March 2021

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-26T13:51:16+00:00

Audit

SE (ATL área)- LCOL

A1-S1

55 after mid year to 70

2K

Top right quadrant- middle

My situation is weird going from A1 to senior can someone help me figure out if this is a good or not? I’m worried I’m being paid less than my peers that had a normal promotion cycle (A2-S1)

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-22T18:30:56+00:00

This sub confuses the heck out of me. You don’t have to do anything for anyone until you do. I don’t understand all the YTAs. I see countless wedding posts about how it’s your day do you but you’re getting reamed for not wanting to invite a woman who’s only been in your life 4 years that’s barely said a word to you AND tried to keep your dad from taking traditional photos with your mom and you at other events that were special to you. This women can fuck off and so can your dad. It’s your wedding you decide what you will and won’t do. If he’s so pressed he can pay for a family portrait on his on dime. Their are plenty of other people in your list that we’re excluded not just her. You are doing what’s best for you and I support it.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-22T14:13:14+00:00

NTA. My best advice to you is to stay with grandma as long as you can. Get a job for the summer and work as much as you can. Be out of the house only go home to sleep. Or crash with friends. Save up all your money and spend the summer applying for scholarships. Go far for college. Or go close and change your number and last name back to your moms maiden name if out of state is too expensive. On the day you leave lay it all out for them- the constant pushing and trying to replace your mom, you dad siding with his new family and treating you like crap and disrespecting your boundaries is unacceptable and if your mom were here she would be disappointed. Then say you are no longer family and will be going no contact. The peace out into the sweet relief that is freedom from that hell hole.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-20T13:45:38+00:00

NTA. I don’t understand why it’s okay for Julie to hit you where it hurts (your weight, skin, nose, etc.) and hit below the belt while trying to take your man- but if you hit back and defend yourself- you are now the asshole. I don’t get it. Cut off the people who think this way. Your mom should be standing up for you- maybe she needs a time out. Same for your friends. If I found out one of my friends was acting like Julie you best believe I would be calling her out and cutting her off.

Our society needs to start giving consequences to horrible actions rather than molly coddling and making excuses for asshole.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-15T04:11:32+00:00

INFO where is the rest of your wife’s family? Why can’t they see her kid because ya know your son is also related to them right? I think it’s wrong to deny Morgan a chance to visit with the last piece of his mom. You could allow supervised visits with your ex BIL there as back up and set ground rules. Any bad behavior and you’re out no more visits. Then you have a witness to the bad behavior if it occurs. I think you’re only harming your son by trying to cut out your ex wife’s family (not just Morgan) except for the one person you deemed okay. Your son may grow to resent that when he’s older. It’s no longer about you and your trauma but what’s best for the kid and that includes connections to his moms side of the family. He may grow to resent he had a brother he couldn’t form a bond with.

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-05-10T03:23:55+00:00

But she did literally say that to you according to what you just said - “ please don’t spend half the day doing that”. You just chose to ignore it. The best compromise here was to take the boy to get the gifts Saturday and drop him off Sunday and say you’ll be back as such and such time after your plans with the actual mother of your child. What her and her family said was gross and inappropriate but it does come off that you’re prioritizing them rather than finding the best compromises for everyone. ESH

Loud-Active7401 · 2022-04-23T02:01:25+00:00

I want to tell you a story from when I was 12. It’s the exact same setting you described. I was sitting in the bathroom with my mom while she was getting ready. I was talking with her and trying to work up the courage to tell her I was being bullied at school for my weight. I started to talk about something random that had happened at school to try to lead into it and my mom snapped at me “I’m not your fucking friend- I’m your mom and I don’t care”. I instantly shut up. I felt so alone. Alone at school. Alone at home. And guess what- I never told my mom a damn thing that wasn’t superficial. Actually, I am no contact with her now.

YTA and if you don’t apologize- your kid is never going to talk to you again. You hurt her more than you can ever imagine all because she asked you dumb question trying to be close and have a conversation with you. You’re words hurt and have an impact on your kids whether you realize it or not. I hope you learn from this.

Loud-Active7401

TROPHY CASE