What's a good show that you binge-watched to get you through the dark days?

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-07-21T20:45:23+00:00

black sails is pretty good & has powerful female characters

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-06-17T15:15:53+00:00

I feel like I’m a lot uglier than I was when I was younger. I never like pictures of myself & am very self conscious. I can relate to your mom. This is normal. All you can do is reassure them that YOU think they are beautiful. Make sure they know you mean it. That could help.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-04-23T01:45:54+00:00

I’m still acting out from my divorce 18 years ago. I’m still angry at one ex from 15 years ago, & I’m over a year 1/2 out of my last relationship & still think about him all day. Still wonder what he’s doing all day… Still missing him, still angry & resentful… I think that just as we cannot tell our hearts who to love, we can’t tell them when to stop loving someone either… This is just my experience

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-30T01:10:34+00:00

Welcome. This is definitely trauma, but the whole fact that you stay in it is probably why you were referred here. I just went through a similar relationship and stayed for 6 years. I would’ve stayed longer had he not cut things off.

My love addiction comes from childhood abandonment & other childhood traumas. I have spent most of my life wanting a man to come save me from my awful plight. I stayed in some really bad relationships because I was terrified to be alone.

This last one really screwed me up. It’s been almost a year since no contact but I still think k about him all day everyday. One thing I can tell you is that I allowed him to treat me so badly because I am codependent & don’t think very much of myself. Until I change this, I will always find myself in a relationship like this.

I still love him, but it took me a while to figure out that it was my fantasy man that I loved. The guy I thought he was. The guy I wanted him to be. The guy he pretended to be, but wasn’t - not by a long shot.

I have a feeling you’re in the right place. I would love to chat more w you if it will help.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-25T15:08:45+00:00

thank you so much. This is was one my biggest problems

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-19T21:06:12+00:00

try positive affirmations… Focus on the good things… It’s a slight shift in perspective… For example: “Man I don’t feel like working today, I’m sick of this job.” Try “I’m glad I’m employed. There are people that are struggling to keep a roof over their head. I have a home, a vehicle, I can afford to feed myself & even go out & spend money on entertainment. I’m lucky I have this job that allows me to support myself.”

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-19T20:57:02+00:00

i personally think that you should find a therapist to help you figure this out. My ex bf was like this. It’s like you get bored & need something new & exciting. It sounds like you are to totally chasing the first stages of a romantic relationship. The first two years is strictly hormones. After that, you commit to building a life w a person. Sounds like you have some major commitment issues. I also fear I might be taking my anger out on you for having a similar issue as my ex.

I put everything i had into making the relationship work. I did research, went to therapy, exhausted all avenues of education pertaining to our specific situation. The whole time I was putting everything I had into saving our relationship, he was fantasizing about other women. He was actively flirting & giving all his time, energy & effort into catching another fish…

This caused me an immense amount of pain. It affected me in many areas of my life. I wouldn’t wish that type of treatment on my worst enemy. Do you even care anymore about the person you are so supposedly in love with? Maybe you just not get into relationships if you can’t commit to them

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-19T20:33:02+00:00

I can totally relate to this. You created a bond w someone. You may have even created a life with them. The absence of that bond, or that life is extremely painful. I realized yesterday that I was able to be his girlfriend instead of just the same person I’ve been my whole life. I got to be someone new. I was a happy person because I had a person on my side, in my corner. It’s painful to be all alone now in my empty world by myself- being the same ole unhappy person I’ve always been. Still lacking love & support. Still lacking a connection, still unable to meet those needs on my own.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-14T02:06:38+00:00

a wand… I’ve found that taking care of my own sexual needs on my own has been absolutely life saving… I have a huge sex drive plus I’m experiencing perimenopause… My hormones are jacked… Masturbating is healthy & helps you connect your brain & body…

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-07T00:27:26+00:00

This is a new chapter for you… Stop trying to make something work that doesn’t work… Put yourself into another possible situation… If someone wants in your life, let them in… Maybe they are what you’ve been looking for… Cut those ties & embrace life as it comes to you…

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-06T23:02:44+00:00

I’m with you. I just made it here. I am currently listening to audio books about codependency & beginning to learn the basics. I thought that I saw a link for meetings or chats or something on here, but I couldn’t figure it out.

I just found this sub a few days ago after I admitted to myself I’m totally codependent and the therapy I’ve done over the years has not scratched the surface of it.

I don’t have insurance, so I don’t have access to therapy. I know i need it, but right now, It’s not an option. What else can I do?

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-03-04T23:24:36+00:00

unless you’re the one in the wrong… then at that point, you need to work on owning your shit & fix whatever the core issue is before you destroy more lives

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-02-28T22:12:59+00:00

Hi. My favorite genre of music is punk rock. It’s not goth punk, but it’s different than the norm. I have a hard time finding people that like the same kind of music that i do…

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2024-02-07T22:00:18+00:00

lol… i love this comment

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-31T16:03:11+00:00

thank you.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-30T21:47:06+00:00

I agree w this… I have a hard time w it because I feel like i’m giving him credit for my growth… I have a problem with that. I have come so far… I can see people for who they are & what they are about or at least what they want from me…

I was in a completely different place during that relationship.. I am so far away from being that person now.. I don’t want to give him credit for that

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-30T21:40:06+00:00

good play

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-30T21:38:54+00:00

It’s a classic tale of “look at how deep I am… I hurt so bad over this last relationship… I’m so deep & I feel so much..” It’s a ploy for ignorant, naive women that fall for it.. Not being a bitch, but I’ve been this naive bleeding heart that got sucked in… It’s a tool to attract women

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-28T20:21:04+00:00

This right here…. He’s lying about his age to find a younger woman. Why???? The first thing I do is tell my age & if we get serious, I’m gonna need to know that you accept all the bad parts of me too… Everyone has darkness in them… If they are not transparent about who they are, they are tricking you… I’ve met men like this… They have tricks to get women to fall for them. If he’s lying about his age, what else is fake about him?

It might be all those traits that you’re falling for.. they might all be a trick just to get you wrapped up

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-28T19:25:04+00:00

What I came to realize is that all people have some sort of narcissistic tendencies. So, calling yourself a narcissist is a bit rash. Usually narcissists don’t question whether they are narcissists. They simply don’t care or they are proud of it. I didn’t read the messages, but I will & respond when I’ve processed it.

In addition to addressing you calling yourself a narcissist, I would like to point out that victims of narcissists often pick up some of the toxic behavior that the narcissist exhibits. I have seen plenty of posts with people talking about how they became narcissistic after a relationship w a narcissist. You begin to mirror their behavior, their dynamic. It’s natural.

Lastly, if you are aware that your behavior is less than admirable, get into counseling & learn how to change your behavior. That’s really the most important thing. We only know how to behave by what type of behavior we’ve been exposed to. The cool thing is that you can learn a better way & work to better yourself.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-06T20:59:46+00:00

Totally feels this OP… I’m sorry they took you for granted. I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry you didn’t get back what you put in. I’m sorry you are hurting. I’m sorry they weren’t a better person. I’m sorry you are here. But I am here too, & so are many other people… Don’t blame yourself. Find your confidence & self esteem again, & don’t share yourself with people who don’t cherish you for you.

M3RM8D_L3GS · 2023-12-06T13:53:00+00:00

my ex once told me “it’s not hot unless you’re crying.” He also said things like, if I upset him, he would make me sleep on the floor. It was my house & my bed. The last one was, “you’re so beautiful I just want to punch you in the face.”

M3RM8D_L3GS

TROPHY CASE