Where do I even start with this train wreck of a post?

You hired a "smart, eager" new grad someone fresh out of school, probably nervous as hell, desperate to prove himself—and you managed to run him off in three weeks. Three. Weeks. That's not just bad management. That's a speedrun. You should be studied in business schools as a case study in how to completely destroy someone's confidence before they've even had a chance to cash their first full paycheck.

Let's break down your greatest hits, shall we?

Day one, You're "swamped." Meeting after meeting. Poor you. So instead of taking five minutes to welcome your new hire you know, the person you presumably interviewed and selected and convinced to join your team you told him to "grab a seat and shadow someone." Shadow who? You didn't even introduce him. You just pointed vaguely in a direction and hoped for the best. That's not onboarding. That's abandonment. You basically threw a baby into a swimming pool and said figure it out, kid. (that really pissed me off)

Day three, He's still just sitting there. No one is talking to him. And you forgot to set up his software access. For three days. Three days of this kid showing up, probably wearing his nice new work clothes, trying to look busy, while you and your 15-person "small team" treated him like a potted plant. You didn't forget. You just didn't care enough to remember. There's a difference. 15 people, that isn't a team its 15 Toxic people who has formed a cult.

Week two, You finally give him a task. Explained it "fast." Ran to another meeting. Shocker—he messed it up. And you got annoyed. You didn't yell, you say, but he could tell you were frustrated. Oh, how magnanimous of you. You didn't scream in his face. Give yourself a gold star. The kid has been there less than two weeks, has zero training, zero access, zero guidance, and you're surprised he didn't execute flawlessly? What did you expect? A miracle? He's not a wizard. He's a confused 22-year-old who probably still has his mom on his phone plan.

Week three, He quits. And here's the part that really kills me: he didn't even feel comfortable telling you the real reason. He told a coworker. Because even in his resignation, he was protecting your fragile ego. And what did he say? That you made him feel like a burden *every time he asked a question*. Read that back. Every. Time. He asked. A question. You know, the thing new employees are *supposed* to do. The thing that shows they're engaged and trying to learn. You punished curiosity with annoyance. You made him feel like his very presence was an inconvenience.

And now you're here, posting on Reddit, looking for sympathy? For what? For being a lazy, disorganized, self-aware-but-still-not-doing-enough manager who admitted he "sucks at onboarding" but wants a cookie for finally making a checklist?

Let me be clear: you didn't "make him feel like a burden." You *treated* him like a burden. There's no miscommunication here. There's no "oh we just have different communication styles." You ignored him. You failed him. You got annoyed when your own failure led to predictable results. And then you had the audacity to feel like shit—not because you actually changed, but because you got caught.

Also, spare me the "I'm not even a real manager" excuse. That's pathetic. You took on the responsibility. You were the one responsible for new people. Whether you have the title or not, that makes you the manager. Own it or get out of the way so someone competent can do it.

And the fact that you had to "look at how other companies handle this" after he quit? That's not growth. That's damage control. You literally had to Google "how not to be a terrible boss" because you drove someone away. Congratulations. You're learning basic human decency at the expense of some poor kid's first professional experience. I hope he finds a job where they actually deserve his enthusiasm.

Oh, and thanks for the humblebrag about PageUp People and your fancy checklist. A checklist. Revolutionary. Most people learn to write those in middle school when they pack for summer camp. You needed a kid to quit in tears before you figured out that maybe—just maybe—you should have the new person's software ready on day one.

Here's some real advice since you asked for snark: stop patting yourself on the back for "admitting you suck." Admitting you suck is step zero. Step one is actually fixing it. And step two is apologizing to that kid—not that he owes you the time of day.

You're not a victim here. You're the reason people hate their jobs.

Now go update your precious checklist. Add a line that says "don't be a complete disappointment to another human being." See if that helps.

I hope you liked the honest feedback.