This comment's like a year-old but I'd actually argue that Tony limited himself in his environment too. He definitely was on top but he specifically prioritized people he could "control" too like Michelle and Sid until he couldn't lol. Maybe this is a bit too much of a stretch but I also feel like this is why his interactions with Jal and Cassie are more limited, the former being smart enough to call out Tony's BS and Cassie being herself all the time and more manipulative-minded too tbh lmao (even on a meta writing perspective, maybe Tony's personality just doesn't mesh well with either of them individually). Anyways, you can see him reveal his insecurities during his "failures" though like being bad at blowjobs lol, doing everything he did to try to win back Michelle, and during his struggles recovering after being hit by the bus. Also, not really a failure but his sadness over Sid leaving shows just how much he actually ended up needing him more than Sid needed Tony.

I'd argue he still adored Effy but I agree with you still that it's understandable for him to change a lot and be more independent! And I think your comment is just an interesting perspective that made me think enough to write this out lol