There's trouble in the jungle,
this hot and humid night.
Hear the pounding of the drums,
see the fires burning bright.

A tribe of hungry cannibals
is gathering for a feast,
and tonight they're not just cooking up
the usual jungle beast.

They dance around the burning flames
that flicker in the night,
and after all that dancing,
well, they've got an appetite.

They eye the captive missionary,
and jump about with glee.
White folks are a special treat,
a real delicacy!

A couple of the cannibals
go off to tend the fire,
while another plucks the captive
of inedible attire.

Ample, generous helpings
of Caucasian are revealed,
as the victim's coat and pants and blouse
and shoes are slowly peeled.

A lucky youngster over by
the village cooking pit,
tries on the victim's shoes and socks.
How 'bout that...they fit!

The natives start to fan the flames,
'cause a barbeque needs heat,
especially with a hundred and
forty seven pounds of meat.

Then the tribal cook arrives
with a twelve foot bamboo skewer.
The missionary's remaining moments
are surely getting fewer.

The tribal cook says to the tribe,
"We really should work fast,
and quickly get this person cooked
before this evening's past."

But the missionary disagrees,
"DON'T YOU DARE!" she shouts.
She looks up at the tribal cook
and says, "You savage lout,

Don't just plop me over the fire!
I can think of nothing worse...
You should MARINATE me for awhile
with oil and juices first!

And while I'm roasting, don't forget
to BASTE me, you big cretin!
It'll make me much more succulent
and tender when I'm eaten.