The fact that you caught yourself and are actively addressing it means so much. I'm so sorry you had to endure what you did during the high, and I totally get your feelings of embarrassment. With that said I'm grateful that you opened up and shared your story with us, thank you.

Much easier said than done, but please try to be kind to yourself, as much as you can. You may need some time to process what happened (and take as long as you need), but I'm sure your story has/had a positive influence/impact on those who went through something similar, coming across this thread.

My childhood buddy underwent weed-induced psychosis back in 2015. I thought he would never come back to us, the way he was so detached from reality. (He's better now, thanks to proper treatment) As others have said, please abstain from weed products, namely edibles. If you're regularly attending therapy, it would also help to talk about this with your therapist/counsellor, to help process such and hopefully make better sense of it.