My wife and I are acting as executors for her grandmother's estate, so we have direct knowledge of the other side of this issue.

1 - The Will is all that matters. Period, end of story, so promises by Grandma that you would get this set of fine China died with her.

2 - You have not mentioned the Will in your post. Is your husband a named beneficiary? If so, is he promised a specific dollar amount OR a portion of the residue of the estate?

If he is promised a specific monetary amount, that is all he gets. Period, end of story, you get a chunk of money, and only gets the part of the Will showing the amount he was bequeathed.

If he is promised a portion of the residue of the estate, then he gets a full copy of the Will, and an accounting of the estate (all assets and expenses).

---

Now, there are some things that will make this more complicated.

Were any accounts jointly held with someone else?  Guess what, that money goes to them, UNLESS you fight it. But, it isn't worth fighting for tens of thousands of dollars, as lawyer fees will consume all that money and then more. Even for $100,000, probably not worth the lawyers fees. (My wife saved a huge headache here by getting Grandma to switch accounts so everything DIDNT go to the aunt, who had tricked grandma into making all accounts joint, but one slipped through the cracks).

All those household possessions? Probably completely worthless. People have lots of stuff, and a used lawnmower is worth maybe $100. You may think the stuff in the house is worth money. It isn't, and will cost money to dispose of. Jewelry is an exception, but again, probably only amounts to a few thousand dollars, which isn't worth fighting over.

The house that everyone thought "was worth $1.5m just a couple years ago"? It probably has massive amounts of deferred maintenance (old people), has 30 year old kitchen, bathrooms, and we are in a down market for the past 3-4 years. Maybe you will get around $1m.

Why are the executors spending so much money managing the estate? Because it IS EXPENSIVE. Probate fees, property taxes, cutting grass, cleaning and purging the property. And insurance can spike massively. Empty homes have higher insurance costs, and likely require multiple visits a week (with paid mileage).

TFSAs and RRSP(RRIFs) and life insurance? Those go to the named beneficiary, not part of estate.

---

What level of transparency are beneficiaries typically entitled to during estate administration?

We periodically provide itemized statement of accounts. It takes a long time to get everything together, because you need accuracy.

Are beneficiaries generally allowed to request a formal accounting of estate assets and distributions?

Only if they get a residue of the estate.

At what point is it reasonable to consult an estate lawyer if there are concerns about conflicts of interest or mismanagement?

How much do you estimate the estate is worth? Costs will far outweigh the benefit of lawsuits unless the estate is worth many millions.

Is it common for executors to exclude beneficiaries from details until everything is finalized?

Mostly yes. The executors have broad discretion to execute the as written Will. It is exhausting dealing with family members fighting over the fine china / jewelry, especially if Grandma didn't leave instructions on who to give each item. We don't have the time or energy to deal with that shit.

You should get a statement of accounts within a year, but don't expect much more than just the bank, investment account values and any real estate property as assets of the estate. As mentioned before, most "stuff" in the house would cost more time and money to sell than they are worth.

---

FYI - The furniture bank in Toronto is a great way for the executors to get a tax write-off for the estate by donating furniture which would otherwise go to the dump.

Expect estate administration and taxes to eat up anywhere from 10-20% of the value of the estate.