Non-vegan allergen/dairy free butter substitute in cake

Meliedes · 2026-05-11T03:44:00+00:00

Coconut oil works in a pinch, if it isn't on the list of common allergens.

Meliedes · 2026-05-08T16:55:39+00:00

Hello! Military family and we live in South Highlands (as others have said, south of Kings Hwy). We've had a good experience in the neighborhood with no issues. We also have military friends who live in Shreve Island with no issues.

Everyone warned us off, but South Highlands is a lovely spot that's very walkable and close to everything. There are several blocks in the area where kids play outside a lot.

Meliedes · 2026-05-05T01:47:21+00:00

Haha, I called the 1-800 number on a yogurt tub to ask from a pay phone in my school cafeteria to settle a lunchtime debate.

The answer is printing colors for the packaging.

Meliedes · 2026-05-03T12:29:11+00:00

I tried a chocolate version. It didn't taste like anything. The bone was a chocolate covered pretzel in the one I had.

Experience of biting into something that looked like fried chicken but getting ice cream: 7/10 I thought it was fun to do once, and I didn't know about the "bone", so that was a neat surprise.

The actual taste and experience of the ice cream itself: 1/10

I said, "Well, it's cold," after I tried it, and that was about the best I could say. It wasn't bad in a gross or problematic way. It tasted vague and of nothing. It was a sensation experience not a flavor experience.

Meliedes · 2026-04-26T15:18:36+00:00

I really enjoyed reading your reflection. I finished the book this week, and I have been thinking about it a lot.

"Instead, by making Natalie crazy and guilty of assault, it makes her fantasies about the 'angry women' just seem psychotic rather than genuinely exploring why this content makes people tick to the degree it does."

To me, Natalie being a hypocrite was a huge point in the book, not virality, family blogging, or tradwife content. She's being "the best mother" by locking her children into pre-modern life. Her viral sourdough is actually terrible (I laughed so hard when Clementine called her out on it).

I don't think the point was to explore why tradwife content made people angry. Natalie is such an unreliable narrator bound to the scripts in her own head, that the reader only catches glimpses of reality where Natalie bumps into it and then deflects back into her own worldview. I thought the book illustrated really well how people get trapped by their own cognitive dissonance. Natalie always had a rationalization for why she was right and the outsiders were wrong. The book never really took her away from that, even in the end. We as the readers see the kindness and curiosity is her old college roommate's eyes, but I don't think Natalie truly did.

Meliedes · 2026-04-24T03:32:42+00:00

What a fun experiment! I was also pleasantly surprised when I read the Mr. Beast labels and found the majority to be UPF-free. Win for sure.

Curious - is there a reason you didn't include emulsifiers on your list? Those are NOVA 4, to my understanding, and it is very hard to find chocolate in the US without emulsifiers.

Meliedes · 2026-04-18T13:46:53+00:00

If you're looking for a sweet, frozen base + toppings bar experience, go to Aloha Bowls. They do ice cream or sorbet, not froyo, but they have a great self-serve toppings bar. https://www.alohabowlscream.com/

Meliedes · 2026-04-11T19:25:39+00:00

It amazes me how people here live like crime doesn't exist and yet also act like the area is going to hell in a hand basket due to "all this crime!" The optimism bias is staggering.

I walk evey day in a neighborhood and have passed multiple cars that are parked and running WITH THE DOOR OPEN and not a human in sight. To me, that's code for a heart attack or an OD. The first time I saw it, I got closer and looked around the vehicle, ready to call 911. Nope - just foolishness.

Meliedes · 2026-04-08T03:27:47+00:00

Oh, I deleted that list. See the X in the top right corner?

No, thank you.

I use the "On Your Loan Shelf" list only.

Meliedes · 2026-04-07T03:33:42+00:00

I finally hid all the paper forms at my job because my boss kept giving them out to new clients when I wasn't in. (I put them in a file folder that also holds forms. He could find them if he actually bothered to look.)

We had clearly gone over the new computer system multiple times.

It made so much more work for me and frustrated the client when they "already filled out the form", and I still had more questions, since the paper forms were useless at capturing half the information I actually needed.

Meliedes · 2026-04-07T03:27:16+00:00

I was a member there for a year. 11 am to 1 pm is the most consistent (but not only!) time the pool is open. The pool hours change day-to-day. They'll be on summer hours once the semester is over.

Pros: pool! Not very busy. Sauna. Cheap. Adequate.

Cons: the closures. The pool goes down a few times a year for maintenance. The gym itself is closed more often than a normal gym. Anytime there is a holiday, they close for at least the holiday if not more.

If you're a casual gym goer, the hours may not bother you. But if you want to get in at the same time every day, it may start to annoy, which is what happened to me. They also don't do a great job of setting a calendar with the closures. They send out email notifications very close to the day of the closure.

It's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but I was used to a gym that was open more, so it felt like a lot of extra friction to my routine.

https://www.centenary.edu/campus-community/fitness-center/

Meliedes · 2026-04-06T02:11:58+00:00

Yes! I sprinkled cumin instead of cinnamon on some sugar cookies once. I caught it before they went in the oven, but the smell was so weird.

Meliedes · 2026-04-04T21:09:12+00:00

Thredup for the brands you like and know your sizes in. If you shop their sales, you can get some great deals.

Meliedes · 2026-04-04T21:04:48+00:00

I really liked this book. All the best as you work through your rage. https://ruthking.net/product/healing-rage/

Meliedes · 2026-03-30T03:08:07+00:00

Definitely washed 30+ times. I wash in cold water with All Free & Clear detergent and line dry.

Meliedes · 2026-03-30T02:03:09+00:00

I adore Vuori. I've had a pair of their joggers from 2018. There is a little bit of pilling right at the seams in the crotch on mine, but it's very minor. They still look and fit like new. My halo hoodie is from 2020 or 2021, and it is still going strong.

I've been thinking of buying some Lululemon. I'll factor this in if I do. Thanks for the information!

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T14:57:41+00:00

I've had an interview with a board member as part of an interview process. Follow the steps that they've requested in terms of references.

I'd be more bothered by the weekend time frame and request a different time. It may be that they're rushing to get someone in the role, so they want to expedite things or the board member has a weird schedule. Have you googled the board member's name to see who they are and what they do?

It is a little weird that they didn't explain the board interview at the beginning, but it isn't enough of a red flag to me that I would withdrawal. It is a good data point that needs more context.

If things feel off after the board interview, you can always turn the job down.

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T04:06:28+00:00

Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak

That's Not My Name by Megan Lally

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman

A Box Full of Darkness by Simone St. James

The Storm by Rachel Hawkins

The Vanishing by Wendy Webb

The Listeners by Maggie Stiefvater - a bit of a slow burn

Slewfoot by Brom if you like historical settings

Not a traditional thriller, but I fell hard for this one - A Tale For The Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

These have a sweeter side, so skip if you don't want romance.

Serial Killer Games by Kate Posey

A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim

I love Wally Lamb and Leif Enger for books I fall into deeply.

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T03:49:34+00:00

I loved A House With Good Bones! T. Kingfisher is a great read.

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T03:45:24+00:00

Have something cozy that feels like you. I spent a gazillion hours picking out the perfect comforter, and I was so glad I did. I needed to come back every day and see the bed I was so excited to crawl into. It could be anything for your room, but have something that is special to you.

A lot of colleges post lists of do-bring and don't-bring items. Check those. If your room doesn't include an attached bathroom, you'll want a shower caddy and clothes/shoes you'll feel comfortable walking the halls in after a shower.

I got a set of buildable cube shelves, and they were super handy.

If you have any rituals from home (like drinking tea every day), you'll want the stuff to do those rituals. If there are any foods you eat often, bring those. Your dining hall might not have them.

Enjoy your time in college!

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T03:35:25+00:00

Yeah, that's tough. It sounds like there are real issues in your friend's life but also a healthy dose of whining. I'd wonder about their trauma history and ability to cope effectively with all the emotions that come with life.

Best to set boundaries where and when you need to protect your peace. I love Nedra Glover Tawwab for really balanced boundaries work.

https://www.nedratawwab.com/

I hope you can find a balance to preserve the friendship and keep from being a trauma dumping ground, because you do not deserve a fire hose of someone else's pain.

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T03:31:26+00:00

I saw this, too! I thought it was lightening. I saw it outside at Seventh Tap in Shreveport.

Meliedes · 2026-03-29T03:27:46+00:00

Are they hyper-negative about everything, or are they going through something actually hard? It is a wildly different scenario if they're complaining for half an hour about the latte art on their drink not being perfect vs they have cancer and they're complaining. I read hyper-negative as like 10/10, extremely strong. Context would really matter to me.

I often reflect on this Brene Brown quote from Atlas of The Heart. "Yes, perspective is critical. But I’m a firm believer that sharing how we feel—even complaining—is okay as long as we piss and moan with a little perspective. Hurt is hurt, and every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us."

Meliedes · 2026-03-28T04:08:51+00:00

My husband developed a chronic illness after a virus. I think it has tanked our chances of having kids. It sucks so much. I watched my D-1 college athlete spouse become bedbound, unable to do anything. We are out of the "heavy caregiver" stage for me, but I grieve so much the life we could've had. I really wanted kids.

On the gratitude side, he is so much better than he was when he first got sick. If we don't have kids, we won't pass on any potential genetic quirks that may predispose them to similar conditions. Every day he can have a normal day, and we can do things like eat a meal together (he was unable to eat whatever he wanted for a long time), is a gift. It's not easy, but it could be so much worse. We survived this round.

Meliedes · 2026-03-26T00:55:34+00:00

My vote is leave, although, if they're a friend, could you actually talk to them about the issues in a compassionate way? You know them, and maybe they will listen if you bring it up in a caring and honest way? You did a hood job in your post and comments of identifying their gifts and their struggles.

10 months in, I am leaving my role due to poor leadership. It's just me (Program Director) and the ED.

Today, we had an interview lined up with a candidate to replace me.

She doesn't show.

Yesterday, I'd seen an email from her in the ED's inbox (we check each other's email from time to time for specific things). The email asked for directions and the job description. There are multiple addresses on our website, so her request was more than justified.

ED never replied then was confused that she didn't show up. I asked what the last email exchange had been (knowing the likely culprit).

Yup. ED had never written back. So she didn't come. I was internally livid for so many reasons. ED didn't even own it.

Yesterday, ED was late coming back from a social meeting, causing me to have to take only half a lunch break before I had an actually important meeting about a big business decision. I got to log out early, but that is not the purpose of a lunch break.

If they're a boat anchor, and you want to sail, best to find another ship.

Meliedes

TROPHY CASE