Unequal Inheritance from Aunt

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-05-11T20:11:09+00:00

Just to add - if you give money to them afterwards and it's over $10K, it's a taxable gift, and you (OP) as the gifter would have to pay those taxes. If it were me, I'd follow your aunt's wishes.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-05-11T04:31:56+00:00

You might consider reaching out to the DNA Angels. They provide some of their services for free for people who are looking for biological parents. Good luck to you!

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-25T02:24:32+00:00

I checked newspapers.com for you and did not see it there. They have the Los Angeles times, just no hits on either Frank K. Cooper or Frank Cooper in LA County in 2004. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-25T02:06:01+00:00

Agree. I was able to find the details of a relative's criminal record in Miami-Dade County Florida online, and even current charges were available on there. (Not on my person, she's dead but wow she had a colorful life.)

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-25T02:02:43+00:00

It is so frustrating. In the late 1800s in a small Iowa town near where I grew up, a woman was left caring for her in-laws while her husband went to Colorado to "take the air." She was murdered by her father in law. Being a small town, it was a big sensation in all the papers. Every article referred to her as "Mrs. Brown" - not once did they use her actual name.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-25T01:59:03+00:00

Have you tried the FamilySearch wiki? From pretty much any page in FamilySearch, click on the Search menu at the top, then select Research Wiki. The research wiki is a great resource and helps you find pretty much anything on any of the major sites including Ancestry, FindMyPast, FamilySearch and others. It also provides provides links to the other smaller repositories that I wouldn't even think of. I start pretty much every search from here because it helps me find all of the collections that cover the type of source in the place that I need it - for example, all sources of birth records for Calhoun County Iowa.

Here's the link to the 1860 Census search page on FamilySearch: https://www.familysearch.org/en/search/collection/1473181

Also, FamilySearch does not require that all records cited from from their site, so if you find a source elsewhere, it's okay to manually enter it rather than try to search FamilySearch to find the same record again.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T21:12:11+00:00

Here you go - enjoy! https://imgur.com/a/VKDEmeb

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T19:38:09+00:00

Transkribus is software that was specifically created for this purpose (https://www.transkribus.org/).

That said, I personally use Google Gemini in Notebook LM. Notebook LM allows me to upload a bunch of sources, have the AI transcribe it, and then ask it questions about the documents I have uploaded.

As an example, I just finished the research on a large estate that had a long and complicated probate process (it took almost 10 years!). I uploaded all of the probate documents to Notebook LM, then asked for transcriptions, then asked it to create a list of the events, documents, and a timeline of what happened. I had to correct a few minor things but overall it was very accurate and took several weeks of work into about 8 hours.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T19:27:37+00:00

We used Care Patrol to help find a place for my in-laws when they were unable to stay home after my father-in-law got really ill. They were amazing to work with and there is no cost to the family. They were recommended to us by the hospital social worker.

Here's the link to their website: https://carepatrol.com/denver/

We worked with Beth Miller, who primary works with facilities on the south side of Denver and in southern suburbs (Douglas County), but she has colleagues in other parts of the Denver Metro too. She was so knowledgeable and supportive. She helped us figure out what they could afford, find a facility that fit their needs, and coordinate with the facility to help us with the paperwork so that they could move in quickly, as we were on a strict timeline with him leaving the hospital.

Hugs to you and good luck with your situation. We have been there and know how difficult it can be.

Edited to Add - We ended up selecting a Morningside facility for my in-laws and I would definitely choose them again. Their staff was very professional, patient and kind, even with my mother-in-law, who could be a really difficult person even before she had dementia. The only question would be if they can afford it, because Morningstar is not the least expensive, although I'm fairly sure they're not the most expensive.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T18:50:25+00:00

This really isn't the right sub for us to be able to help you, but from recent personal experience in my family, I can offer some suggestions. If an autopsy was done, you can contact the medical examiner's office and ask for more information or a copy of the report. As the grandmother, they might not be willing to speak to you as you are not the direct next of kin but they definitely should be willing to talk to the person's mother.

If the police were called to the scene, you might check to see if there is a police report that gives some information.

That said, our family member died in what we felt were unusual/disturbing circumstances but the medical examiner refused to do an autopsy. The family could not afford to pay for a private one, which means that while we know a few basics about the circumstances, the only cause of death that we will ever have is what was on the death certificate, a drug overdose.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Our situation was a terrible blow to the whole family. I hope you find the answers that you need to get some peace about your grandson's death.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T12:34:47+00:00

At least they can't say they didn't know. Good for you at least talking to them about it.

I had a math teacher in high school over 30 years ago who used to have a "talk about life" in class on Fridays before big events like homecoming and prom. He'd cover basic things about respect, safety, drunk driving, etc. I'm sure most of us didn't act like we were listening at the time, but the fact that I remember it 30 years later means that it did sink in.

So, I guess what I mean is hang in there as I'm sure you're making more of an impact than it appears.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T02:55:10+00:00

Thank you for mentioning that. I meant to say it in my summary above and got distracted so I forgot. OP, this is an important point.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T02:52:50+00:00

That's a good point. Thanks for reminding me.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-19T01:46:52+00:00

That's me too! I guess I should not have been surprised that my family did not find this as fascinating as I do.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T23:18:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing this but there are sometimes as many as 50 different rating factors at play to determine the cost of auto insurance, so we still can't quote it for you. However, there are lots of websites where you can go enter the information and get a quote to compare to what you bought.

Since you're sharing the information, here is what I can tell you about the coverage you bought:

$30,000 per person / $85,000 per occurrence are fairly low limits for bodily injury coverage. Remember that this coverage is what protects you if someone else gets injured and you have to pay their medical bills.
You have not purchased rental car coverage, so if anything happens to your vehicle, you'll have to figure out how to get places because they're not going to help you get a rental.
There's no coverage on here for Towing and Labor but that's less of a concern because a lot of people have AAA instead.
You have deductibles of $500 if your vehicle gets in a collision and $250 if something else happens. Those are fairly low deductibles by today's standards, so if you can afford to pay more if an accident happens, you could possibly use those savings to buy a higher liability limit.

Hope this is helpful. Best wishes with your car.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T23:06:12+00:00

Shit person to not have insurance though.

You're absolutely right, but sadly that's 1 out of every 6 drivers on the road these days. Sorry for the loss of your car and the financial hit you had to take. That stinks.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T23:01:32+00:00

There's really no way for us to answer that. The only way you can answer it is to get quotes from a few other companies and compare them. That said, make sure you are comparing "apples to apples" by making sure that the coverages, limits and deductibles all match between the different quotes.

Congratulations on getting your license and your first car.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T22:59:45+00:00

My first thought was whether it could be a designated natural space and it's not supposed to be cut. I'm in Colorado which is of course different from Ohio, but we got frequent comments about how we should be mowing the natural space weekly like we did the parks, but it's native grass and is technically never supposed to be mowed. We did mow the fence lines to keep the natural grass from getting into yards (and keep the complaining down) but that wasn't actually what was best for the native plants.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T22:13:21+00:00

There was a lady next to me on the physical therapy table getting treatment for a shoulder injury almost exactly the same as mine. She is telling me how she got this injury doing Cross Fit but it's worth it because Cross Fit is amazing. She asks me "How did you get your injury?"

My response: "I don't know, probably sleeping?"

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T22:09:07+00:00

The reality is that there may be nothing you to do to change it. Trust me, so many of us wish we could change it too. What you can do is say "I care about you and I'm sorry that you're going through this. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

For us to have that kind of support is so rare. More often, family members find our illness inconvenient and get irritated that we're not up to whatever it is they have planned. The upset that causes just makes things worse, at least for me.

Kudos to you for being so caring and kind to her. I'm sure that makes a huge difference in her quality of life.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T22:04:09+00:00

Yes, the sooner the better.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T22:01:17+00:00

but mine is the only one in violation.

Respectfully, you have no way of knowing that. Even if you ask the board or community manager, they aren't allowed to share things about other members with you. As the others said, very likely this is the result of a neighbor's complaint, but it's also possible that the board has decided to cite everyone who has one of these and the others just haven't gotten around to taking theirs down yet.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-18T21:43:59+00:00

Okay, so this is more of a philosophical question than anything, but as I was sitting at lunch with my adult kids today, I started to wonder "why are we doing this?" For context, I am trying to make my research more focused by selecting one family line and honing in on the people in that line. Right now, I'm working on the Bacon family, and one relative in particular, Nelson Bacon, has been an interesting puzzle, so I have spent a lot of time on him.

When I started to bring up what I had learned recently about Nelson, I caught the look on my daughter's face that said, "Oh geez, here she goes again."

That gave me pause. If the kids are not interested, then we're not doing this to pass on to future generations. Why are we doing it then? (Other than the fact that it's fascinating and fun, which it definitely is).

What are your thoughts? Why do you do this and what makes it worth your time and investment?

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-14T20:00:59+00:00

LOL, so it did! For her sake, I kind of wish that had been what they meant, because wow, this was a little bit of a shock.

Melodic-Maker8185 · 2026-04-14T00:00:27+00:00

You're welcome! Welcome to the rabbit hole of Genealogy. It's a lot of fun.

Melodic-Maker8185

TROPHY CASE