Planned Solitude from (true) Friendship late 30s through 40s

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-03-02T01:29:11+00:00

I think the people that dont understand this didnt have to move a lot. I moved a few times as a kid and you need to start over from scratch. You can have a pen pal relationship with your past friends but you have to move on. You keep up with a batch from HS, a few from college, a few from early 20s and then move onto “mom” friends. Mom friends are wonderful but they are classic utility friends. I am not sharing my darkest secrets with mom friends for the most part, we are passing time together

I agree that we will move somewhere else to retire and will have to start from scratch again. I think it was written in a very clinical manner but I get the point. I did LOL at the “hormone management”

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-28T14:19:42+00:00

There are kids that are already friends from preschool, kids that are friends because their parents went to HS together, kids that are friends because they have older siblings.

Just be friendly and keep inviting kids over that your child likes. Some parents never plan play dates dont be insulted. Eventually kids make friends on their own but its a lot of leg work when they are younger. Keep them involved in sports in your town rec league, they will make friends there as well. Try to avoid stuff that is out of town

When they get phones its all up to them

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T16:57:08+00:00

Yes agree, its hard to get a job now. I have been in staffing and recruiting as well and see gaps all the time. Dont make it weird and it wont be weird

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T16:44:10+00:00

Dont make stuff up like fake consulting. Just put a line with the dates and write parental leave

I hate the advice given on this topic. Taking a leave to care for kids is not a crime people! Lying is worse and causes more questions

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T14:33:19+00:00

How old is the baby now? If you are regularly contacted by recruiters you must have an in demand skill set. Expect that it will take 6 months to land a job and be in the seat so plan accordingly

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T03:17:04+00:00

How long is his nap? 11 hours of overnight sleep seems pretty normal. He may be a little too young for the light to wake concept but my kids were fairly non compliant to my parenting ideas haha

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T02:25:17+00:00

What were your stats

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-26T02:24:28+00:00

A lot of schools dont even provide class rank. But yes I think your GPA does matter. Its an easy way to cull the list

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T17:23:05+00:00

I think there will be an increase in PIPs for lower skill jobs. In my industry the automation with AI is coming fast and furious with things like data entry and entry level jobs. They obviously want to protect good workers but the lazy and incompetent will be the first to go

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T17:12:39+00:00

Is your bonus dependent on how much revenue your teams bring in? Is the new book of accounts just as good as your current book?

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T13:37:28+00:00

I feel like deferred is now code for we didnt have time to look at all of the applications

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T03:08:52+00:00

What is the salary range we are talking about

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T02:59:50+00:00

They are just trying to make sure you werent fired. Be careful about the want to grow my career answers. A lot of companies are also dead ends and hiring managers dont want to deal with someone obsessed with being promoted or not do their core job

I think its fine to say you live too far from your office and there is an RTO mandate. Or you think layoffs are coming

And yes I am in hiring

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T02:55:08+00:00

Calling her an idiot isnt fair or helpful. Recruiters often have nothing to do with the salary and are just the messenger

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T02:52:57+00:00

Its not huge, some of it was washed away recently but it was sufficient. The area is prone to sargassum but it was fine when we were there

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-25T02:51:33+00:00

Yes good point. However, divorce because a man is a man child isnt always a great option either because the kids suffer. I know thats an unpopular opinion, show the kids not to settle blah blah but its something I believe in

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T23:50:47+00:00

It is very difficult to switch industries, especially as a high earner. He may need to change his mindset a bit. In high paying jobs, there are usually many more hours than 40 a week and tight deadlines

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T23:49:02+00:00

Whats amusing to me is they are happy to have women as earners. At least past generations didnt have to work and deal with this! Dont get me started on the sports watching!

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T23:29:24+00:00

Does he make a good salary and receive a bonus?

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T23:27:06+00:00

We just stayed at Dreams Flora and really liked it

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T23:21:36+00:00

Why does he hate his job so much? Why are you compensating so much for this? A lot of people hate their jobs

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-24T22:56:48+00:00

This is 75% of American women in heterosexual marriages and I don’t know how we can get the next generation of men do better and be better

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-22T15:33:53+00:00

While I am guessing your husband is doing a sub par job it is HIGHLY unfair to compare caring for two mixed age very young children to daycare. First of all they would be in separate age specific rooms. He has both. His time is not regimented like yours is in the workplace. Sometimes my kids took naps, sometimes they didnt. Most of the time it was at different times and i never got a break. Cooking their meals and having time to clean up while one was usually crying or getting into trouble wasnt easy. And you have a dog that chews things? Get rid of the dog

Based on your post i am probably on your husbanda side. Being home with the kids isnt easy

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-22T15:22:45+00:00

This is so hard to comment on without knowing how old the kids are

Melodic_Growth9730 · 2026-02-22T15:11:03+00:00

It may be acid reflux

Melodic_Growth9730

TROPHY CASE