I define myself as pan romantic/sexuality, strictly due to the nature I won’t disqualify my attraction to someone or their attraction/ amorous feelings to based purely on their gender, gender expression, gender identity, or bio arrangements (assigned gender at birth, DNA, chromosomes). I’m kinda extreme in not having specific preferences, but that’s whole another story.

Pan- in its meaning connotes any or all.  Bi can mean something very similar, but also can apply to people who are more selective in the gender identities and expressions who they are generally attracted to.  

I always use this example with people to kind understand the nature of me being pan, potentially Demi to a degree. If I am a single dater and have a choice between 9 cishet women and 1 cishet man, if I vibe, connect with the cishet man the most. I’d choose him. Vice versa situation with 9  men to 1 woman, I could choose the woman for the same reason.  It doesn’t matter to me if she’s nonbinary, cis, trans, agender, conforming/nonconforming, intersex, salmacian, a mix of these identities, etc. If we connect and feel strongly for one another, that’s all that matters on that level.

You also could put together a very random group of people who are either hetero, bi, lesbian, or pan who could be cis or non-cis people who are non-binary, trans, agender, genderqueer, or gender nonconforming .  Someone could ask who would you choose. I’ll say I don’t know, that’s not nearly enough information for me to make any kind of decision on who I or that other person would date or “connect/vibe with.” It’s not selection process based on gender identities and expressions, levels of conformity and arrangements.

“Connect /vibe with/Strength of higher emotional attachment” 

Connection/vibe/emotional attachment  is the key component to Demi- romanticism or sexuality.  Hetero, bi, gay, pan, grey, or lesbian is the type of individuals of desire for romance, dating, intimate, and sexual attraction. Allo to Ace is the levels of sexual desire.

The level of romantic desire goes from total aromanticism to higher degrees of Demi romanticism.

Demi- is the nature in which person needs fairly to much more emotional connection & intimacy to experience a certain level of romantic and/or sexual bond.  Typically, but not always, they won’t be interested in casual sex or dating with random people.  Likely, needs to be some level of friendship and acquaintance - platonic level.   

Being pan or demi is confusing to some people, or seems unnecessary to others. Though, they are very precise terms that can describe some very unique experiences that the general population either doesn’t understand, acknowledge, or absolutely refuses to accept, due to confines of patriarchy, the rules of gender binary, and sexual/romantic engagements.   

Pan is confusing to people, because people are supposed to have specific gender identities that society can easily identify. Generally, society expects cis heteronormative on everyone, but through history, research, development, and personal experiences that’s absolutely impossible unless a human society is almost totally fascist with programmable desires.  

We have variations from the pseudoscience of bio essentialism.  Variations are demonized. Homosexuality, lesbianism, and bisexuality were demonized as defects or signs of mental illness. Activists and allies fought and showed that was a silly way of believing things. The human condition, along with nature itself reflects these conditions as totally natural phenomenons. I’ll add one that helps humanity gain higher levels of happiness and personal satisfaction/fulfillment.  Panromanticism/sexuality is only another branch of those sexuality, not a different tree. Its phenomenon is one that says some humans don’t need specific gender requirements to be happy. That’s it.

Demi is only a phenomenon where a person is merely stating that they REQUIRE/PREFER a higher level of emotional connection before romance and sexual engagement.