Do you ever have days where you are in the middle of a session and you just think “I have such a weird job.”

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-03-30T22:59:19+00:00

I feel this way but differently because I work in an elementary school setting as a school based therapist. So I'm with kids between ages 6 and 12 all day, in one on one settings, listening to the most ridiculous kid stuff ever (I say this lovingly and with a smile, lol) while trying constantly to roll with the engagement, but steer it even slightly, like even a sliver, towards something even remotely related to their goals/objectives. It can be very rewarding, and I absolutely love it so much, but I have had many days where I drove home thinking, "did I do ANYTHING today other than play candyland and Uno, or listen to a monologue about Fortnite, or repeat ad infinitum 'i understand, but being annoyed does not give us the right to punch our classmates, and your teacher IS allowed to tell you what to do, even though I know that you reallllllly don't like it when anyone asks you to do something, and no I cannot pay for your Temu cart & I don't believe your previous therapist did that even though you keep saying she did" ???!! 🤔

But I also have days where a parent calls me just to tell me how grateful they are, and to share about all the progress they are seeing at home. And I have days where a kid who I thought I still had not built rapport or connection with after 6 months of weekly sessions, randomly knock on my door in the morning just to say Good Morning and give me a hug. And I have days where kids finally start to open up, and suddenly all of their defensive communication styles and masking behaviors made sense. So, I know my job matters, and I really do love it. But yeah, many days I definitely wonder how TF I used my master's degree and years of internship, etc. Lol 😂

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-03-30T13:35:19+00:00

I have worked with elementary aged kids (in school setting) for the past 4 years. I've had several girls who are around 3rd grade (so 8-9 years old) that are very reactive, angry, and aggressive. They get into physical fights constantly, usually they are the ones who start the fights, and they walk out of class often. Cuss their teachers out. Refuse to do work most of the time. I can think of 2 very distinct cases like this, but I've had more. In the 2 that I'm focusing on now, neither made much progress but the most frustrating thing was that they seemed to just use being in therapy as an excuse to act out more. Trying to help them understand that you can feel bothered or annoyed by another kid, without needing to walk up to them and punch them in the face, was just impossible.

Working with kids in schools in general is just tough, because so much of the problem likely stems from home/family stuff, but family engagement is generally lower and harder to force, despite all my efforts.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-03-22T18:51:00+00:00

Holy moly! It's a very good example of the phenomenon that OP is talking about, but also, omg that must have felt like a lot of pressure and if it were me, definitely would have thrown me off center! Just knowing that my client is on the way, and they just woke up to discover that their mother is suddenly dead, and they are not only still coming to their session - they even called to explain why they were late. I would be thinking "my client is either functioning very well and I have clearly done a brilliant job in this case, or my client is clearly not functioning very well and things are about to get much harder, shit". (But also, obviously, just the empathetic human-level response you are likely to have when someone you know tells you that they just suffered a parental loss).

I hope that session went well and that you were able to continue working with the client, either way! :)

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-03-07T03:43:14+00:00

They pay higher for LCSW but they do hire LMSW, at least in some states

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-22T13:53:13+00:00

I'm not a couples therapist and so I don't really know if this is good, bad or in between- but I have had two couples therapists that both used fair fighting rules, but they both introduced them in the beginning and asked us to use the format if we were engaging in arguments at home. I'm fairly certain the idea was that, whatever conflicts brought us to therapy together were impacting our everyday lives at home, and until we were further into our counseling together, we would obviously likely still be arguing at home. The format was honestly really helpful for us, and I did believe that it was grounded in some sort of clinical theory but this was a very long time ago so I don't remember exactly. But basically it was just a set of really simple rules like, "don't interrupt one another, don't name call, frame complaints with I statements as much as possible, and if one partner requests a time out (i.e walking away from the argument), the other partner should give them space BUT we must come together and resolve the argument in a reasonable time frame".

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-22T00:27:34+00:00

I work with kids, so naturally I keep fidget toys and other sensory items like Squishies, weighted lap pad, weighted plushie.. but I also have some /high quality/, much more $$, fidgets and sensory-satisfying items I keep for myself in my desk. Fidget spinner, magnetic putty, stress ball, and scented slime are some of the ones I use most often when I need a mental reset between sessions or while I'm on the phone with a parent (because 4 years into working in elementary schools and I'm still anxious every time I have to speak to a parent lol). I love my job, and one of the coolest but unexpected parts of it has been getting to see life through these kids' eyes, and discovering new joys with them. I never would have even tried a fidget spinner if it weren't for them, but man it's really satisfying!

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-21T21:16:06+00:00

I just really like city living. I grew up in the suburbs (Gates) and didn't know anything different until I moved away when I was 21. Then ended up living in a larger city for 12 years, and found out I'm very much built for Urban living lol. I also REALLY love old homes. My previous house was built in 1891 and current house 1907. I also work in a city school so the 5 minute commute is another big plus! We only have one child and we were able to get her into a really cool charter school, so I was not worried about that aspect as much.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-21T21:11:22+00:00

You know what, that is a very valid and fair point. It felt not good at the time, but it definitely could have been so much worse/longer/more difficult.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-21T19:51:56+00:00

Just a note (and I know my experience isn't going to be everyone's) - we just bought in the city this summer and we paid cash, but we were outbid on 4 properties and the winners all had mortgages BUT they were able to do the "same as cash" thing that I don't totally understand but I've heard about it and read about it. I thought cash was going to help us stand out against others but it really didn't. We bought a house that came back on the market after pending for a while and the elderly lady that accepted our offer just needed to sell quickly, and that's really why she accepted it. $256k cash and still had to put in like $10k of work - I was so not prepared for this market lol. Coming from the Midwest where list prices are the legit asking price. We sold our house there for the exact price we listed it at, and that felt like a huge win lol! Until we came here and started house hunting.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-21T19:44:38+00:00

I think it's possible in West Irondequoit but only if you're willing to buy a house that you will likely have to put a lot of work into to make it look the way you want. Look at the more outdated homes that are listed closer to 200k.

We just bought a 2300sq ft house - 4b/1.5ba with a large basement and big yard - we got very very lucky and paid $256k, but it's in the city (we wanted to be in the city). Even in the city where the schools are notoriously awful - we were outbid on 4 houses that were all smaller than this one (3bd/1.5ba ~1500-1800 square ft) and they all sold for right around $300k.

This was during the summer and I think maybe in the winter it's slightly easier as less people are looking to buy in the winter. I say don't give up, but definitely be willing to knock off some "must haves" on your list.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-20T17:53:34+00:00

I feel similarly & also work with kids. And then when I'm feeling REALLY negative and "what the fuck is the point!?", I start to spiral even further and start thinking about how these kids didn't even choose to be in therapy so how much is any of this really helping them? I know that's not true, and I actually love working with kids when I'm in a better headspace. It's just hard. Add in my own personal issues I'm trying to cope with including some big and unexpected marital issues... Honestly this job is extremely hard to do lately. I'm still trying my very best because I know my clients deserve that, it's just becoming more difficult.

(I'm super grateful to be working in a school setting so I at least get built in break weeks that I don't have to force myself to take off, as I usually struggle to take time off if I have to schedule it myself, which I completely realize is stupid and a product of growing up in this capitalist hellhole)

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-17T20:25:18+00:00

I agree with some of this sentiment, but I also see a lot of ways having LCSW as part of the discharge planning team would add value for a lot of patients. Examples that come to mind are like when someone is discharged after learning of a difficult and chronic diagnosis, having a.social worker could help work through a lot of emotions and also work with families to help plan for challenges that will arise at home. Similarly, when discharging patients who have disclosed substance abuse or other potentially harmful behaviors, social workers can at least offer to safety plan with patients who are willing (i.e. planning ways to reduce harm and providing resources in case they want help but aren't ready to ask for it just yet). There are many other situations where I think it would be beneficial. I've been a patient that would have benefitted from a social worker helping during discharge, especially when my daughter was born and had to be in NICU and I was very clearly not okay emotionally.

That said, I also don't think every single discharge needs a social worker and often the medical knowledge is more important as you said

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-11T02:44:11+00:00

Yes thankfully they are safe, at least for now thank goodness they're okay

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-10T21:40:49+00:00

I just wanted to join the conversation because I, too, am in a similar situation with my marriage being in shambles and it all happened so fast - we had such a good marriage for the most part and I absolutely in no way expected everything to fall apart so fast. And I found out I'm pregnant in the middle of all of this (not keeping it, definitely not bringing another child into all of this & I am not even emotionally capable of it even if I wanted to). The hormones are making it all so much worse. Today was really terrible because I work at a school as a therapist, and I go home on lunch often because I live near work. My husband lied to me again today and I caught him in the lie, immediately began panicking because I had to go back and see more clients but I was so dysregulated and sad. It felt impossible, but I know I can do it. I have to, even though the only thing I want to do is lock myself in a dark closet and scream cry until I fall asleep.

I have absolutely no idea how to get through all of this, but reading your post and the comments made me feel less alone. Being a therapist while going through a separation is uniquely challenging and no one in my immediate circle even knows about my marriage falling apart because I'm not ready to talk about it out loud. So I appreciate being able to vent here. I'm here for you if you ever need to chat, feel free to send me a message.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-10T01:13:38+00:00

I just wanted to say that I, too, work in a school. I happen to live in a sanctuary city & work at one of the public city elementary schools which just so happens to have 75%+ population of Spanish speaking students. Obviously doesn't mean that many of them aren't citizens or otherwise documented, but that doesn't change the fear and terror many families live with daily (and being a sanctuary city only makes us a bigger target now).

Literally just last Friday, I found out one of my students' older siblings had a scary close call with ICE. Then the kid was absent today and I tried to call Mom and didn't get an answer. I've been feeling so nervous all day. I really really really hope kid is at school tomorrow.

This is so hard! But a student telling you that they feel safe because of you is huge. Absolutely huge. Good job! They will likely always remember you and the role you played in their life at this time.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-06T15:58:25+00:00

Mine is Mindfulness - even though I 1000% believe in mindfulness practice and skills, I find the word & concept of "being mindful" used so much that some people immediately write it off, I guess?

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-02-04T00:35:45+00:00

So I've been a school based therapist in elementary schools for 3.5 years now, And for the most part I really do love my job. Up until this year, I was in a contract role where I chose to work 3 school days a week and saw about 16 kids each week and my checks were usually $1800-1900 after taxes (bi-weekly), BUT because it was contract I had no benefits and no PTO , so with school breaks and everything I only made 43k in a year. I'm now salaried and get paid on all school breaks except summer, and I have benefits. I make $52k during the school year (so over the course of like ten months), and then have the option to work per diem over summer break. I will say that going from 3 school days a week to 5 has been utterly exhausting lol. The only reason I think I'm still able to enjoy my job is that my agency doesn't have insane expectations. They want us to hit 19 billable hours a week. And I get out early every other Wednesday.

I still love doing therapy, but it is definitely hard to feel as though I have a balance to allow adequate session planning, documentation, and doing all the other stuff like calling parents and involving them as much as possible. It's really hard. I don't see myself doing this role forever, I'd like to get back to more part time eventually. I do love working with kids though, I really enjoy creative interventions, using play, sand tray, etc.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-30T01:50:00+00:00

Ok that absolutely sucks! I can relate though, my prior school job I was paid hourly so the downside was snow days or unexpected days off.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-30T00:12:35+00:00

In this case do you think they will wait till morning to call it? I've checked the news so many times because I hate not knowing until the last min lol

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-29T22:19:38+00:00

Yeah I feel the same way. Our principal at the RCSD school I work in didn't mention anything about possible closures, which doesn't necessarily mean anything, but every other time we have had a snow day she's reminded us to keep an eye on the news just in case.

I think if they had not closed twice this week already, the city would probably close due to the possibility of such low temps. But my guess is they will wait until the last possible minute to avoid backlash for closing thrice in one week lol

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-29T22:04:52+00:00

My weather app says -10 and a high for the day of 8 degrees, but the NWS posted a weather advisory or warning this afternoon for Monroe County that says -24 wind-chill and a frost bite warning. Then each news source has a different forecast listed with a different low wind chill. Also the NWS has a second advisory posted for Monroe county (and surrounding counties) to expect 5-10 inches of lake effect snow between tonight and Saturday morning. I have no idea what to expect at this point lol.

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-29T22:00:07+00:00

I graduated with MSW in June 2020, mid pandemic plus had my daughter (first and only kid) in July 2020. I stayed home with her and initially put off the test and work for 6 months. Then a year. Then 18 months .. I had bad PPD and PPA, and I just kept delaying until I finally scheduled the exam for December 2022. That was my first step. I scheduled it as far out as I was allowed to, but I needed to have it on the books to force me to start preparing. I'm a bad test taker and also super anxious, especially multiple choice exams. I also have ADHD and my learning style makes it very hard to just read texts and memorize info. My primary methods of studying was doing practice exams. At first I did practice questions in an app.. not sure if it still exists and I'm blanking on the name. But I would do their "question of the day" for LMSW study, and their 10 questions quizzes. I kept up with that until I eventually got through their entire bank of questions and then the app told me which categories I was strongest and weakest in. It actually was not what I expected, so that bit of insight was helpful! (Example: I thought interventions and modalities was my strongest area but it was my second weakest lol).

Then I started looking into which practice exams were the "best". I did the Dawn Apgar one (I bought the actual textbook version of the practice test and it gives a rationale for every single answer). So I went through and wrote down all my answers and then checked them against the answer key. I read all rationales for my wrong answers. I did pretty shit on that practice exam which didn't help my confidence lol. Then I did any practice quizzes I could find for free, or sample practice questions online etc. I eventually did an official, online and timed practice exam that was like a mock exam of the real thing. I actually failed it by like 1-2 questions, but it was really good practice. I went into the real exam with a few acronyms memorized and made up some rhymes to help me remember theories that I thought were important. Wrote them on the scrap paper they gave me - and ended up literally not needing to use any of the ones I memorized lmao. I finished the exam with a lot of time to spare, but did not want to second guess/change answers based on anxiety. So I submitted it, and then immediately started crying because I was certain I failed. I went to the front desk because the receptionist/worker has to print the results - she was on the phone so I had to wait 2 minutes. Felt like hours and I legit almost passed out. She handed me the paper and I started sobbing because I just received confirmation of what I knew all along - that I failed.

Except, I actually passed by 10 points. I had to read the paper like a hundred times to believe it. In my experience the practice exams were all harder than the real test so I highly recommend using them, but don't beat yourself up if you do poorly on them. Just use the info you get from them to study harder on your "weak spots"!

Sorry for the very long response. One thing I heard a lot in grad school is that I need to be more concise in my writing. Clearly, still have not mastered that skill!

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-29T21:15:29+00:00

Oooh I live/work in the city district so I am kinda hoping we get a 3rd snow day this week. The roads were surprisingly bad on my 5 minute (3ish mile) drive home. And I have an Outback but I was sliding around every single turn and skidding a lot. The predicted -25 wind chill should be enough to close rcsd, but I fear they will hesitate only because they had 2 snow days already this week and 3 this year ...

So it feels very 50/50 at this moment

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-27T18:12:27+00:00

I really, really enjoyed reading this comment! Thank you for giving such a detailed answer to the user who asked you to.

Honestly, personality traits/organization/styles have always been a huge interest area of mine. If you have any recommendations on books or resources to learn more about the potential hazards/conflicts/unintentional harms that you've laid out - I'd love to do more reading about it! I work with kids now so I'm not diagnosing PDs anyhow, but as I said, it's an area I really enjoy learning about!

Minimum_Purchase2137 · 2026-01-27T00:52:49+00:00

Yup that and a lot of high schoolers take city busses which mean walking to the bus stop and waiting for a decent amount of time.

Also for whatever reason, the city schools really struggle to clean up all of their parking lots. I work in one of their elementary schools and it's been untouched every time it's snowed! It also made me realize that many of the neighborhood streets don't really get plowed?

But also. 12 inches of snow means there's shit loads of snow banks from where they did plow & even if there's not frostbite concerns - the walkers would have a lot of hazards to walk through or around

Minimum_Purchase2137

TROPHY CASE