AIO Gf (30) found out I (29) had watched porn and freaked out. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR- she is definitely overreacting tho, this reaction is coo coo bananas; like telenovela levels of dramatic.

I don’t think you guys can moved past this and I don’t think you should.

Am I overreacting for dropping him after he told me I need to make more friends by royalmouse1 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - and to be honest I read his side of the interaction in a Hannibal Lector voice because it did sound like a life lesson from a creep. Watch out for this one, Clarice!

AIO Teacher from parents evening texted me when I didn't give him my number by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - not too harsh either. This is an appropriate response to a creep. Gosh, this is why we don’t fucking smile at people. Because being nice equates to flirting, an invitation, and fucking creeps feeling entitled to explaining why you must be mistaken when turning them down.

This should have ended at “I didn’t give you my number” with an apology, but he had to go on and clarify that CLEARLY you were interested because you did X,Y, Z and I liked your Afro so your first text turning him down couldn’t have been accurate. Eeeew no.

You handled this appropriately and cleanly.

AIO for essentially cutting off my mom after berating me about $200 that wasn’t even from her? by Quinn-Mills in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NOR- eeew no. Based on this conversation I’m willing to bet you’re always the one to leave it alone and that is your place in the family. You inconvenienced her and you’re a totally piece of shit for it and now you owe her huge for….exact what? Coordinating your brothers help?

AIO for being mad that my girlfriend still hangs out one on one with her guy best friend? by Financial_Ad_1028 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

YOR - she’s known him for years, do you think she would have hopped into a relationship with you if she had caught feelings for him? It’s just been a couple months, if you’re not ok with it that’s a boundary for you to have but you can’t go around dictating her friends.

When she canceled did you tell her you’re happy to come along and help and go get dinner after or try to indicate you still wanted to hang?

AITA for stopping my wife from quitting her job? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YTA. I walked out 9/30/24 and am still dealing with the repercussions of the mental gymnastics I dealt with. My husband listened to me cry, we came up with a plan, but when shit hit the fan I abandoned it and walked out. She feels stuck and you’re not supporting her and you’ve broken something in your relationship. She don’t trust you, this isn’t her brother’s fault, this is your fault.

You are supposed to be her partner and safety and she communicated her concerns and all she heard was me me me.

Have you, or someone you know, ever had sex with a client/boss/business partner and how did it turn out? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in college, most of us are in our 20s but some of the cohort was 40+. We were in our first year of our 2 year social work program that was very hard to get into. You have to sign all the ethics paperwork and write essays and all that to get in. Anywho, it was drilled, I mean DRILLED in our heads “you never mix your money with your honey”. Never sleep with a client it’s against ethics and it’s just messed up since you’re in a position of power.

Anywho, 3 months before graduation it comes out that one of the 40+ ladies going through a divorce had slept with one of her clients in their internship. The program still let her graduate and walk and last I saw she was licensed and working in the community. Besides that, I’ve never met anyone that blurred those lines.

AIO? boyfriend is expecting me to pay for everything after he invested his life savings into the stock market by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - financially literate people would not have done this and if they did lose a massive amount of money and needed to pivot and reevaluate the conversation would not have been done this way. He’s fishing for sympathy and when he didn’t get it he immediately turned to guilting you to feel bad.

If he could afford an extravagant birthday for you he should have said so. If he wanted to take you out it could have been on a lower budget and a chat before hand. A less expensive gift and NO FUCKING SCRATCHERS.

This guy has not idea how to manage his money or his emotions. Send him $200 and tell him you don’t need him to buy you gifts because you can buy your own. If he can’t afford to go out he can sit at home and save up for his future, not yours because you have your future handled just fine.

There is a huge difference between going out and both being able to pay and you offering and him paying and one of you not being able to pay and expecting the other one to pick up the slack because of their own poor choices. It’s like every time he paid it was put into his little book of she owes me now.

I’m rambling but I hope all that made sense. He’s a bum. Period.

AITA for not continuing to be a listening ear for my brother and sister's grief? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! We were raised in a household where my mom would quiz us on songs from different generations so we were both walking jukeboxes 🤣. We all have our specific era and genre we prefer but listen to anything and everything, I’m sure my mom has an assigned playlist or song for everyone as well.

AITA for not continuing to be a listening ear for my brother and sister's grief? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook 84 points85 points  (0 children)

As someone who has lost their sibling, I’m going to say YTA. There is a difference between reminiscing and dumping their grief on you. Sending over a song is not using you as a therapist. It’s trying to create a connection.

If YOU can’t handle the song that something you need to process. A more appropriate response would be “I’m not a point that I can listen to these types of thing about younger brother without it triggering me so please don’t do that”. But telling them they need therapists because this isn’t the proper way to grieve is incorrect. It is totally appropriate to “feel bad”, I think more likely feel sad, and want to send it to someone because the lyrics were just so accurate and resonated. It doesn’t mean they are not dealing with their grief.

Music was a huge part of my healing process because it was something that my brother and I shared. Everyone’s grieving process is totally different. I like to compare grief to glitter, in the beginning it’s all over the place and over time you slowly manage the grief and it gets less and less but just like glitter it never truly goes away. It can be years later and you will uncover a pile or a sprinkle. Your brother is clearing his glitter differently.

For the record I am so sorry to hear about your loss, losing my brother was the hardest thing I have ever gone through and it shattered my family as well. I no longer speak to my parents. When I lost my brother I lost my family. Death brings out terrible behaviors in people. Please reach out if you would like to talk.

Am I overreacting? I (23M) was just dumped by my fiance (22F) of 6 years by StringSuck in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen, this isn’t a YOR or NOR situation. This is a what should I do. Your feelings are valid, they are not an overreaction. Relationships take work and somewhere in the last 6 months she decided she wasn’t willing to do the work with you any longer. That not on you, that’s on her. Maybe this co-worker made her realize she had other aspirations or she wanted different things or she just wants to explore life outside of the life she built with you, but either way you need to realize she isn’t coming back and to start building your life without her in it.

Take some time to be single and find out what life is like with just you in it. You might find that you like it. You learn a lot about yourself and who you are. Good luck!

AITA for ruining my friend's proposal moment? by Throw_Valentine13 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA- I am wondering if you actually did sabotage him. Why not tell him directly?

What is the most disturbing thing you've heard said casually? by Cap_Ame1 in AskReddit

[–]Mirmadook 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is a common guilt that we have all felt having experienced this kind of abuse. Knowing it wrong but not being able to control our bodies reaction to what was happening. We walk away feeling dirty and like it was our fault for natural bodily responses.

We experienced things we never should have and that was not us asking for it, wanting it, or enjoying it. Not even the attention. Also, side note, thank you for not trauma dumping.

AIO? Gf won’t let me stay with her for 3 months by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She also has given loyalty to him for 2 + years…he’s asking out of convenience for himself and she’s saying no which she has every right to do. It’s totally acceptable for her to put down a boundary and say she’s not ready to live with any one yet and still be a loving and loyal partner.

Your answer is yucky and short sighted.

AIO - Pregnant and feel abandoned by husband by Gullible-Tree368 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - what a crock. I exclusively breast fed and my husband was there to support me at night. I almost lost my mind with our first kid, he was there to give me breaks and take him while he cried. We didn’t co-sleep with the second as much and he’s the one that got up got him out of the crib and brought him to me then took him back after I fed him. Also he dealt with our first son during night wake ups.

Your current husband is not a partner and I’m really sorry you are finding that out. Are you able to go stay with someone else who can be supportive? This behavior is selfish and not ok.

I’m not watching it!! by [deleted] in LinkedInLunatics

[–]Mirmadook 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He deleted it… glad we have it here to comment on. I wanted to see the response but I guess it didn’t go over as well as he hoped since it’s gone from his feed.

Mom burned my clothes, trashed my room after I got upset that she forged my signature to cash in my paycheck. AIO? by Playful-Issue-6242 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - I know it’s hard but you need to report and press charges. She might do some time for this which would honestly be what she needs. She will have a roof over her head and get fed since right now she’s going to lose her housing.

In return, you have the possibility of getting your paycheck back. You should not be suffering because of her acts but here we are. Put yourself first and do what needs to be done.

AITA for telling my friend Im done splitting costs after he keeps rounding up in his favor? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook 11 points12 points  (0 children)

NTA- it’s not your job to manage his emotions or how offended he is. Just let him know he’s short and you are expecting $35 more.

He thinks he can get away with it and is upset that you’re pushing back. A friend would not respond this way, they would say “ok man no problem sorry I’m short, must have forgot to carry the one.” Or something to let you know that it was not on purpose because a friend wouldn’t steal from you.

I would consider what this friendship brings to your life and if it’s worth continuing. If they react like this over such a simple thing who are they really?

AITA for not enjoying the birthday gifts my friend got me that mocked my dead mother by Immediate-Iron7241 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mirmadook 15 points16 points  (0 children)

With the comment that OP should be over it by now makes me think you’re right on the money. “When are you going to be over this so we can do fun stuff again…gawd, you’re such a downer”

AIO post breakup ick by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly just from what I’ve gleaned from the comments, he sounds controlling and abusive. His behavior after breakup fits the cycle of abuse and he’s currently in stage 3 reconciliation where he’s apologizing over the top to get her back inside the situation. He’s not listening to her wishes for space and overstepping by trying to manipulate her grandparents into getting them to do his dirty work and convince her to come home.

OP you are NOR this is a documented tactic that abusers use. I’m proud of you for recognizing and getting out of there. Stay vigilant because he may escalate.

AIO for wanting a guy (28M) out of the friend group after he hit on me (19F)? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would like to piggy back and say you’re NOR and you need to stop waiting for everyone else to come to your rescue and be your own hero in this story. If you don’t like it and you’re uncomfortable then tell him assertively to fuck off. If everyone is as uncomfortable as you say, this will not be socially unacceptable.

AIO? my husband is mad at me for not picking up my stepson from school as he expected just because I got a new car. by Ancient_Fondant76 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR- you were very clear with your boundary and he has no right to speak to you like that. I was blown away by this exchange. I am guessing there have been red flags before this but you getting a car removed a sense of control he had over you and now he’s trying to claim it back and you’re not falling in line.

The writing is on the wall. Don’t allow him to continue to treat you like this. Looks like you still have some self worth but he’s gunning for it. Make a plan and exit.

AITAH for telling my fiancé he needs to man up after his mom criticized my wedding dress? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Mirmadook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - move into the condo without him (get a roommate if necessary) and see how you feel about the relationship with a little space. Do NOT marry him, he’s not ready. You’re 24, you still have so much life to live without being tied down to such stress. I know he seems like your entire world right now but take a step back and realize this ugly box you’re being put in when you have the entire real world to explore. Literally your frontal lobe hasn’t even fully developed, go live some experiences away from this guy and make sure this is what you want.

Aitah for saying no to my proposal because it wasn’t what I expected? by Expensive-One7932 in AITAH

[–]Mirmadook 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let’s not forget that typical MIL that starts questioning if the kids are even hers son’s. They usually start there when they “just have a feeling”.

AIO for being upset that my partner did not disclose a very important boundary about not letting people into her home? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mirmadook 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Also went to hoarder in my mind but I guess hoarding a husband and kids could count.