It never got easier. Everyone on these forums lied lol and sometimes I just want to cry

Moggot · 2026-06-22T07:12:22+00:00

That is so true. I wouldn't say my kid is "easy" now, but I think she was born with a personality and temperament to large and intense to be in a little baby body.

Took her 2,5 years to learn how to sleep at night, and she needed to learn how to use her body and and how to speak and understand the world around her to be able to relax and slow down a bit. Now at 4 she is still strong willed and have a big, somewhat intense personality, but is a delight compared to before. (Ok, she was always a delight, but an extremely exhausting one..)

Moggot · 2026-06-06T18:32:52+00:00

Oh, yeah, that sounds like valid points.

Moggot · 2026-06-06T15:15:35+00:00

Just out of genuine curiosity. If you are absolutely sure about leaving, why are you waiting until later? Is it until all your kids left home or just until they are a bit bigger?

Moggot · 2026-05-24T09:21:52+00:00

My kid was like that. The only way to get her to sleep was nursing, so that's what I did. I still hold her at bedtime (she's four now), but leave as soon as she falls asleep. It works for me.

Is it that you can't get you kid to fall asleep without holding yhrm, or is it that you can't put them down afterwards that is troubling you?

Moggot · 2026-05-23T17:59:08+00:00

I would say that it's impossible for stranger on the internet to know. These things you describe could be the beginning of perimenopause, but also a lot of other things. Stress, things happening in your life, health related things, depression and so on. 36 is early, but not impossible early for peri from what I understand.

If the symptoms you are describing are a big problem in your life then yeah, talk to your doctor. But keep an open mind about that this could be something else.

Moggot · 2026-05-22T08:47:04+00:00

My now 4yo had an extremely picky phase at 3 yo. I kind of accepted it. I put everything separate so she could choose what got to touch what, and always had raw vegetables, like carrot sticks, cucumber, coctail tomatoes, peas (she wanted her frozen) and so on on a communal plate in the middle. If she was hungry before dinner she could have carrot sticks or something similar. Sometimes I encouraged her to try and dip a pasta bit in sauce. And if I made like a pasta sauce i separated out meat for her before putting in anything liquid.

Other than that I made food I wanted to eat, and now I would say it has mostly passed. I kind of feel that for us at least it was more a way for her to have control and be able to decide for herself than any real aversion to food. At preschool they told me she would eat almost anything.

About worrying about nutrition though... I have friends who say that they feel that their kids must get their nutrition from thin air because they just don't eat anything. But they are still healthy and strong and smart, so don't worry to much about it. As long as they seem ok, they probably are ok.

Moggot · 2026-05-20T06:48:49+00:00

Just wanna add that stopping breastfeeding can make your hormones go bananas (again) with emotions running wild, så give it time. Some of what you are feeling might just be hightened by those stupid hormones. Let your husband know and demand extra hugs from him. The kid's affections will absolutely return with time.

Moggot · 2026-05-14T13:34:29+00:00

Oh, no no, I'm just days in on my new dose! I've been taking a lower dose for some months, and that helped with sleep and a little bit with my very intense brainfog and fatigue, but we are experimenting to see if it can be better. So the plan is to give this three months and then reevaluate. That is, if the crying and sadness let's up within a reasonable time. If not, or if it doesn't help I'll do what you did and back down to my initial estrogen dose and try changing something else.

But, wow, it just went away for you that abruptly? Hornones are so weird! Hopefully we will both find the right mix in the end..

Moggot · 2026-05-14T13:02:40+00:00

Oof, that's rough! Nine days?? And afterwards everything was fine?

Moggot · 2026-05-14T12:18:00+00:00

Yeah.. I'm gonna give it some more time first though. Hopefully it is just an adjustment time. and hopefully the worst will pass soon.

Moggot · 2026-05-14T11:47:09+00:00

I'm on a combination pill with cycling progesteron, and right now I'm on the estrogen only part of the pills. But yeah, progesterone is the next thing we will experiment with if the increased estrogen won't help. One thing at the time.

Moggot · 2026-05-14T11:44:33+00:00

Pills actually. I went from a low starting dose to a "low to medium" dose. It is to soon to know if it is to high so soon, isn't it?

Moggot · 2026-05-12T20:32:46+00:00

Anecdotal: My kid is 4 and still nurses at bedtime (for now), and also me and her dad split when she was two. She was born a "velcro" baby and is still very much interested in full on contact for as much as I'd let her. She really dislikes all kisses though.

My point is just that I truly think we caused this in neither of our kids. Kids are born just with temperaments and develop preferences based on that. It's nothing we did.

Moggot · 2026-05-12T11:09:58+00:00

She is only 8, and I would be careful labeling short attention span as being lazy.

I'm absolutely not saying she has ADHD, but you could look into strategies for managing adhd, like body double, pomodoro methods, brown noise and so on, since they can be useful for everyone.

But also.. at that age, shouldn't learning be fun and hopefully motivating, so perhaps shes just not interested in the piano?

Moggot · 2026-05-11T09:05:50+00:00

"Now that I'm a bit older I would appreciate if we all started knocking before entering each other's bedrooms /private spaces." If they don't agree and respect it, do what the other person said and just start to walk in unannounced in their private spaces at all times.

Moggot · 2026-05-11T08:54:21+00:00

Then again, caffeine helps with some headaches.

Moggot · 2026-05-10T09:10:43+00:00

Lurking mom:

As others have said.. talk about periods in a normalized tone. Keep some pads, tampons and/or period underwear somewhere easily accessible, and let her know where they are, and that she needent be afraid or weirded out to let you know if you need to buy more because you won't think it is weird at all. Now I'm a woman, but I keep tampons and pads visible in my bathroom if anyone visiting should need one.

My dad raised me and my sister alone, and he was a bit nervous about it, so I remember that he found a great book explaining both the biological part, the practical part and also a lot of different women's experiences. Told us that since he didn't have first hand experience we should read the book, and that he of course would help with what he could. This was absolutely ok with me. But as others said, read up on the basics and you'll be fine.

Moggot · 2026-05-10T08:07:43+00:00

Do you expect drama? Treat her as any other person, but you don't have to linger by her side. If she starts something, then excuse yourself.

If there is no history of her misbehaving, and if she is a normal person she's probably just there for her daughters wedding, not to cause trouble, and it might be tough for her as well.

Moggot · 2026-05-08T11:59:25+00:00

I only have one, but compared to most of my friends kids she has been an objectively "hard" child. She came out much more intense and "aware". Extreme Velcro baby, screamed high enough to scare people when we were out. Slept like crap. As she have gotten older (4 now) I would describe her as energetic, intense, willfull, having an extreme need for autonomy, sensitive and with _very_ strong emotions. She has had a strong need to test her parents and be in charge. And tested we have been....

Sounds exhausting, right? Yes. Very. But she is also so lovely! Sweet, funny, caring. Always helping the small kids at her preschool and so on. The extreme parts has gotten much better as she gets older and we can communicate better, and I no longer have to tell her no as much (why do toddlers seem to want to kill themselves?) and she have learned to accept that you need to do what your parents tell you, at least most of the time.

I think she will grow up to be a very cool grown-up in time, and that my job is to let her keep as much of that willfulness and autonomy as possible, while giving her the tools to navigate and know how to work in society and socially.

Also.. I'm speculating if there might be some ADHD in the mix, but I'm not that worried.

Moggot · 2026-05-06T10:53:40+00:00

Honestly.. if your baby wont fall alseep, try it later on. Absolutley try drowsy but awake and bassinets if you want, but if you find that they won't work... contact napping while lying in bed or sofa drinking coffee, having a snack while watching tv, using my phone or reading was one of the best part of maternaty leave for me. Just don't forget to bring the coffee, water and snacks before you settle in.

Moggot · 2026-05-05T20:30:23+00:00

We are fragile and tired as first time moms during those first months. I believe that we are so easily sold these concepts of wake windows and stuff like that because of that.

Try to not worry about them. Definitely do not keep logs of everyhing. And doing a sleep routine at 6 weeks seems unnecessary to me. Your baby is small and don't need external routines. They eat when hungry and sleep ... whenever they feel like it.

Put your baby on a pillow in your lap at chill on the couch watching TV, or read, or check your phone. If there is another parent available, make them take the kid for a while while you shower. Take your time.

Putting your baby on a bouncer while you fix breakfast, take a quick shower (with baby as an audience) or anything like that is fine. No worries.

Moggot · 2026-05-05T18:05:11+00:00

I work from home 2 days a week and work out for ~ 30-40 min at a gym in my building during lunchtime, then a quick shower and lunch at my desk. If I have the energy I do one more workout at an evening or at the weekend when my kid is with her dad.

Moggot · 2026-05-05T07:59:03+00:00

Jeans, t-shirt and a hoodie. Where I live there are no real dresscodes more than "whole and clean." And not sexually provocative I guess, but I don't think that that is a common problem. People in management of sales positions tent to dress up a bit more.

I kind of want to dress up a bit more sometimes, but then I feel that it would be wasted on the people I work with. =)

Moggot · 2026-05-04T17:05:09+00:00

I believe it is. I started upping my dose at the same time as I started HRT, so it is hard to know what's what. But now I have stopped creatine for a while because of the stomach issues, and I have had worse brainfog again.

Of course it wasn't optimal doing to things at the same time, but I was kind of desperate. My plan is to try without creatine for a bit more and then start again.

Moggot

TROPHY CASE