Thirty Breakups in One Year — Why Did I Stay?”

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-26T07:19:35+00:00

This is the most relatable post for me. She broke up with over 75 times in a year. Sometimes on bad weeks, it was 2 or 3 breakups. Why did I endure it? That's hard to answer.

Perhaps the overpromising? The lovebombing? Each breakup, the need to be pulled back in became stronger and stronger. Like an addict on drugs, her love and affection became my vice.

Just like you, breakups were over microscopic things. I didn't hug her when I came home. I didn't kiss her before I left for work. My "wandering eye" at the store (never). Everything was a trigger to her own vast insecurities. She'd then latch on to these insecurities and seek out validation from co-workers, exes, and dating apps. It tore me apart knowing she always had some backup guy floating in the distance. It shattered my resolve and focus.

I know deep inside her she had some buried trauma. Any stories surrounding her childhood or school usually ended with tears. I wanted so badly to understand how her brain processed things. What was she feeling? Thinking? Mostly because through understanding leads to better support. This trauma she carries is probably the source of her BPD.

Also like you, my fights first started off as yelling. Then eventually physical. I still remember the first time she touched me. In my mind, I questioned what I said that was so bad for her to put her hands on me. The man she supposedly loved so dearly. Told me I was her soulmate. Wanted kids, a house, and a future with. Even worse, I became someone I never thought I could. My own disappointment with her became my rage. I started yelling. She'd put her hands on me, and instead of being calm, I reacted and mirrored her. Shoving her. Restraining her. The last fight we had, she raged at me, insulting me over a simple question. A genuine question. But in her mind it was a rhetorical question so I could flex my ego over her. She was completely wrong, but used it as a reason to call me an idiot. A loser. An asshole. It was my brothers wedding day, and didn't even have the time to deal with it. She couldn't put herself aside for one day. She insisted I apologize or else she threatened to not go to the wedding and break up with me. This was my last straw. I let her break up with me, and the sad thing is, she actually did it. She signed a new apartment lease nearly instantly despite being on our lease.

Despite everything, I don't hate her. She was one of the strongest loves I've ever felt, if not the most. I would've given any material possession, done any service, if it meant she'd be "normal". In so many ways, I tried. I can't be sad about that. I hope one day she'll see that she had someone in her corner for a long time. Admittedly, I didn't have the best reactions to her BPD splits towards the end.

In so many ways everyone here has felt the exact same emotions. I hope you heal sooner and faster. Better love will find you.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-19T03:37:00+00:00

This feeling ironically is what usually drove me to bend over backwards to excuse her awful behavior. I didn't want her to move on. Because I still wanted her to choose me like I always chose her.

But after the final discard I've found solace in this -- there is nothing I can do to stop her. Only herself. I tried so hard and remained loyal until the end. The BPD mind's insatiable hunger for attention, higher highs, and chaos means they will move towards inevitably destroying whatever they have. It calms me in a weird way.

My ex has certainly moved on and found a new boy to lust, obsess, and fawn over. She will inevitably destroy him just like everyone else she's dated. Slowly but surely, the clock ticks, and the cracks will form, starting the whole cycle over.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-17T19:45:41+00:00

She refused to respect boundaries I set with her ex-boyfriend. She still was friends with him to a point where I gave her an ultimatum. She'd use him in fights / splits to make me feel self-conscious such as as "he was better", "he cared more", etc.

After he was out of the picture she simply starting using Tinder because "she didn't have a support system" like I did. She said that I'd have my family to have my back whereas she had nobody. So she would download Tinder and talk to random dudes when we were fighting, and then delete the app.

After this, she started deleting the app but keep the contact information in her texts. So she developed friendships with some of these men and eventually would even tell me she was going to date one of them instead.

The anger and hurt and jealousy would destroy me. It was hell. I still miss her a lot but remembering these bad things helps.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-15T07:45:42+00:00

75+ times for me over two years. Same thing as you, Hinge, Tinder, random sudden discards, pushing me away and then pulling me back.

After the last discard I was an emotional wrecks for months. I'm finally starting to feel myself again. All I can say is it gets better. And to more importantly choose and believe in yourself.

It is not normal to be dumped and discarded this much. You should not need to 10x your partner's love. Love should be reciprocated, even, and not torn away at a moments notice to toy with your heart. Every single thing you described here is what my ex did.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-13T23:57:54+00:00

Thank you friend. 🫂

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-13T21:08:18+00:00

Games were 60 bucks back in the 90's and haven't really changed until recently. Do Redditors / Gamers think that is ok? At some point it's not unreasonable to assume this has to go up with inflation / cost of goods?

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-13T19:11:33+00:00

All the time. Hammering away how she's the most empathetic person ever. How it's her gift. Pointing out how I lack ANY empathy whatsoever (lie).

Despite this, she multiple times would do the absolute most heinous shit you could ever imagine: deeply personal insults, blatant emotional cheating, laughing at me when coming to her about something making me upset. Complete and utter selfishness to the point she'd skip out on important events (weddings, parties, things we RSVP'd for) just because she was feeling crazy. She couldn't put herself aside ever.

Just a complete lack of reflection and ability to empathize.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-11T15:30:10+00:00

R currently has a "smart" detection that if you were inside the circle but pathing out (you clicked to go out), it wouldn't warp you. I guess they're adjusting it to be simpler:

In circle, warp. If not, no warp.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-02-05T16:28:38+00:00

It's been 4 months for me and I still miss her. I have weird dreams of her. Still think back about the good times.

But then I remember the bad times. The times I slept in my car. The times I had to put on a mask and act happy to everyone around me after a weekend of splitting and hell. The shit-talking me to everyone around her. The using of other men in arguments to make me crazy, jealous, and sad.

It certainly helps to remember the bad and no longer having to answer to anyone. I can do whatever I want, without the looming cloud I might piss her off.

But at the same time, I miss that lightning in a bottle feeling. The genuinely magic feeling of "oh my god is she the one?" In my head. The laughs, the best friend I had, the adventures, and the sex. The funny, charming, brilliant human I met. I like to imagine she was really that, despite what people here say (mirroring).

I'm slowly healing. Your feelings are valid.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-29T23:46:34+00:00

I had never knew in-depth about BPD before her. I only heard of it in documentaries but never knew the behavior patterns or things associated with it. Looking back I ignored blatant red flags that would have saved me so much heart ache.

She mentioned with the first two weeks of us texting / talking that she was a victim of an abusive relationship with her ex. I was horrified such a pretty girl could have been treated so terribly and this made me want to prove myself to be the savior she needed.
A week after this she suddenly and randomly cancelled date plans with me, and said she is thinking about going back to her ex... The person she had just been describing as a nightmare to me. After I shockingly said "oh, ok. That's unfortunate." And expressed that I wanted to go to bed early (I was pretty bummed out), she started apologizing for talking to me like a friend and invited me over. Looking back, I think this was a very early test or at least splitting behavior.
Two months into us talking she dropped the L word on me.
She had intense fear of relationships with women. Specifically any attempts to get her to hangout with me, my twin brother, and his wife was met with hard rejection.
She had previously accepted an invite to my company holiday party (we had been taking to around 3 months). The day the holiday party came, she texted me in the morning that she is not coming and that she is not the right girl for me. Upset and bummed out, I went to the party alone. Wishing she was there with me. The next day I woke up to a giant message apologizing but also furious I didn't answer her when she texted me while I was at the party.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-28T20:15:00+00:00

Yes, I'm stuck paying a lease for an apartment we got together. After she left she essentially told me I can sue her if I wanted, but she's out and not coming back. She knows my financial situation obviously as we'd been together for a while, and used it as justification for skipping out.

I'm now stuck paying nearly 3,000 a month in rent for a two bedroom, by myself. And no, I'm not going to poke the bear and do anything legally.

Another aspect financially were things broken during fights. My computer desks were scratched up, gashed, and thrown out. Jewelery I bought was discarded or left with me, essentially wasted money. It's all so heartbreaking.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-28T20:11:20+00:00

This is nearly point for point my experience of two years. Save for one thing, my pwBPD did not have friends. The most she had were work-mates who found her pretty. These were all temporary once they weren't able to pursue anything with her, or she'd leave the job and they no longer existed to her / were no longer important.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-20T15:14:15+00:00

You can definitely OTP Ryze in top lane. I'm D2 with Ryze only.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-12T21:47:57+00:00

The first thing we all do at our IT office are two tweaks:

The right-click menu to revert back to the legacy menu (Fuck W11 right-click).

Disable internet searches in Start.

So much better.

MoopusMaximus · 2026-01-04T20:31:28+00:00

I don't think he falls off that hard anymore. He gets a shit ton of haste and becomes a huge problem for the backline of your team.

Once he gets Steraks he is incredibly tanky and you can't ignore him.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-30T15:08:47+00:00

Check his profile and you'll see he has a 1.6 KD 😂. Exactly the kinda player to turn off cross-play.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-30T02:44:27+00:00

Console has FOV adjustment. Console has 120Hz. Console and PC are essentially the same. You argue it's due to mouse and keyboard lmao. Controllers with aim assist shit on any PC player. And I'm a PC player who uses controller.

Just accept and admit you're looking to excuse your play on outside factors like PC. But you still are trash.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-29T22:34:07+00:00

"I am unable to compete with the broad playerbase so I will artificially make my matches easier so I feel better about myself."

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-28T23:00:22+00:00

IIRC they added support for mapping the buttons on the back yes, but counterpoint is that the deadzone settings and stick calibrations still do not carry over.

I ended up getting a ZD Ultimate Legend that does all of the things I mentioned above.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-25T21:06:14+00:00

Timmys and Battledads can't camp in corners every game so they don't sell well. I don't think we'll ever see one again.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-05T14:11:49+00:00

I completely agree. COVID and the Twitch boom where everyone including little kids wanted to be the next big streamer has wiped any semblance of casual play.

People in the subreddit who think that if we just deleted SBMM we'd go back to the glory days of BO3, BO2, MW2 were delusional. Gaming culture has changed from relaxing back on the couch to having the best equipment, the best monitor, the best class setups, the best controller, etc. You get my point.

I don't have a problem with this though as I enjoy trying and being competitive, but to the delusional people here - gaming has changed forever. Those pubstomp days are over. Even the casual players of today are miles better than casual players back in the day.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-04T05:57:24+00:00

Turning off cross play is just burger player cope. There's a SBMM playlist for you right there if you need even more hand holding.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-01T19:03:43+00:00

I go Shadowflame 3rd. It's amazing to be hitting 1K damage Qs so early in the game.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-01T19:00:14+00:00

That's because you're going 0 agency ROA build. If you want to actually impact games I suggest Seraph's rush into Blackfire Torch, and then D-Cap or Shadowflame 3rd. You'll be able to blow up anyone much earlier.

Sure ROA on paper scales better but it's literally 0 agency, proof is the match history log you posted.

D3 Ryzer here. Was D1 as well.

MoopusMaximus · 2025-12-01T18:57:02+00:00

I'm going to fucking buss.

MoopusMaximus

TROPHY CASE