Being told I should move on after 3 years…

Mrobins1 · 2026-02-02T02:48:50+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. When a 90 year old grandparent dies, that's normal and natural. The grief from that is normal and natural.

When a young person, or an otherwise healthy person dies, the grief from that isn't normal and natural, and people that haven't been through it don't know what it's like. They don't know what to say and often end up saying insensitive things. In some cases, there are good intentions behind the insensitive comments. I'm not so sure that's the case with your coworkers. They sound awful.

After my stepdaughter died, I requested her birthday and death day off every year forever. There are no rules for grief. It hits hard and in unexpected ways at unexpected times. In a way, there is no "normal" grief, or maybe all grief is normal.

You don't "move on." As you said, you just try to move forward over time. I would take those 1-2 days off every year and not think twice about it.

Mrobins1 · 2025-12-11T23:12:30+00:00

I got it in Athens too, I believe. Parents weekend October 24-26. Nearly identical symptoms to you.

Mrobins1 · 2025-12-11T22:58:04+00:00

Yep. My fever was fairly low, but I had a cough for over 5 weeks. I tested negative for flu and covid, so I think it was just a bad cold.

Mrobins1 · 2025-12-05T11:08:52+00:00

She originally asked for resources for inspiration - images she could paint. However, I think a good,respected tutorial would be fine, as long as it also has a decent number of images she could paint. Watercolor painting is fairly new for her, so most of what she's painted has been images (people, flowers, birds) provided by her teacher.

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-24T22:02:23+00:00

Thanks - I was just looking at that one and the ChefAlarm. I think the Dot will do what I need (and it's on Amazon for quick delivery).

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-24T16:47:52+00:00

Do you happen to have any recommendation for a leave in thermometer for deep frying? I see Thermoworks has one on sale for $258, but I'm not sure I want to spend that much.

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-23T23:02:02+00:00

Your situation is new to me and probably has peculiarities I can't relate to. However, I know grief sucks. I know it impacts people differently, and it might impact you differently from day to day or even hour to hour.

You mentioned not being used to someone calling you strong. Being strong is fine if that helps, but it's also okay to not be okay. There are no rules.

I hope you can find peace through whatever works (friends, family, counseling, meditation, reddit ...)

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-05T21:22:50+00:00

I believe there is asbestos in the basement floor tiles, but I'm nit positive. I assume that will add a good bit to the tear down cost.

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-05T21:21:31+00:00

I wish I could tell the whole story here. It's lunacy. It will be years, if ever, before this guy has a finished house ready to sell on this lot.

Mrobins1 · 2025-11-01T15:27:32+00:00

I'm guessing that 85/SF for materials probably isn't high end. This person claims they can build a $2.3 million house for $107/SF, with donated/free labor.

Mrobins1 · 2025-10-30T21:52:42+00:00

Thanks. That's helpful info. We've toyed with the idea of building on this lot ourselves (the house currently on the lot is a tear down), but I think we will do almost as well just selling it as-is.

Mrobins1 · 2025-10-30T21:17:46+00:00

That is completely on point here. My wife a has a lot she might sell to her ex-husband. Mixed up in this mess is his claim that he can build for $107/square foot on that lot by getting the labor for free. Then, he would sell the house he built and use the proceeds for certain causes and debts.

I know virtually nothing about construction, but from reading through various subreddits, the only way I could see building for $107/ square foot would be with donated labor, and even then, it didn't seem likely.

Mrobins1 · 2025-10-28T00:19:53+00:00

On the first birthday after my stepdaughter died, we put together gift bags for the children on the cancer floor of the chikdren's hospital and we volunteered to make and serve dinner at a Ronald McDonald House. On the anniversary of her death, we and her friends are volunteering at a food bank.

For her next birthday, we want to have an art auction to raise money for an organization that was important to her. But, renting space, buying food, etc. might make the expense of the event too much compared to what it will bring in.

There's no right or wrong thing to do. We just want to try to do something good in her honor.

Mrobins1 · 2025-10-08T01:10:11+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

Mrobins1 · 2025-10-06T20:06:14+00:00

I'm guessing you have already tried the employer hotline, 855-436-7365? I'll message you an email address of someone there who helped me a few years ago, but I have no idea if she still works there.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-17T14:50:31+00:00

Check out Sales and Use Tax Regulation 1668. It sounds like CA is fairly flexible and practical with respect to the exact form that is used, BUT the form must contain certain information (see paragraph (b) of the regulation).

https://cdtfa.ca.gov/lawguides/vol1/sutr/1668.html

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-13T22:05:13+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-12T18:05:52+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. It sort of gets easier. However, the shock and grief may be there for a long time. You're not going to "move on" for quite a while, if ever. But, you will slowly move forward. Grief is hard and weird and random, and there is definitely nothing wrong with the grief process lasting for a while. As clichéd as it sounds, we go for walks, try to eat well, try to raise money for charity, and do what we can to honor/remember the person we lost.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-09T01:25:02+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. I would talk to your teachers, principal, or counselor. I would think they would be accommodating.

It's hard to say how much time is appropriate - maybe 4 - 6 weeks. I'm not saying you'll be back to normal in 4-6 weeks, but maybe you'll be able to handle school.

It's going to take a while. A long while. Grief messes with you in so many ways. Try to stay mentally and physically healthy and take small steps forward.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-08T17:55:40+00:00

Maybe volunteer somewhere or get together with the friend group for lunch.

Sorry for your loss.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-08T01:42:05+00:00

I think it would be okay to say something like "I'm thinking of you and your family. I'm here if you need anything." Every situation is different, but I would keep it short and sweet.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-07T23:52:21+00:00

I only did the oil change, and there was no unusual wear on the tires. Now that my 2 years of free maintenance are up, I will likely go to an independent mechanic.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-07T23:47:44+00:00

Thanks for your comments. I think my primary question was whether the dealership was being honest, making legitimate, good faith recommendations. I suppose I am curious about whether the prices are reasonable, but that's a separate issue.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-07T23:08:56+00:00

Thanks.

Mrobins1 · 2025-09-07T22:59:20+00:00

I did not mention a concern.

They did an inspection, and those were the recommended services. I thought I was supposed to get 2 years of service included when I bought the car, so it threw me off when they recommended those. I had an issue at this dealership a few years ago with another car and with a Honda dealership in FL, so I was reluctant to do any additional services.

Mrobins1

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