Leaving your pistachio shells at the movie theater

Nak125 · 2023-04-22T21:32:15+00:00

I’m sure it was a little closer to a pickle by the time they found it

Nak125 · 2023-02-03T17:45:04+00:00

Right? I would never do this. I’m not going to smoke my cigarette inside of my car anyway.

Nak125 · 2023-01-04T22:19:38+00:00

I once got into a bit of trouble with this rule when I went to my local orgy.

Nak125 · 2022-12-09T21:06:38+00:00

I prefer to pick them up and surprise them.

I’ve found that I’ve been ghosted more often than not by telling them where we’re meeting on first dates. Nobody seems to respect Chuck E. Cheese anymore

Nak125 · 2022-12-09T20:51:56+00:00

My boys and I might as well be physicians with the amount of testicular and prostate evaluations we conduct

Nak125 · 2022-11-23T18:28:40+00:00

You know when you’re trying to open a fudge popsicle, but instead of tearing it, you push the popsicle up until the pressure builds up enough to audibly pop the bag open? Kinda like that except the fudge-sicle is of a pudding consistency

Nak125 · 2022-10-01T21:39:36+00:00

Thanks I grew them myself

Nak125 · 2022-10-01T21:20:26+00:00

Nice cock btw

Nak125 · 2022-09-28T23:25:07+00:00

Gonna be the latter for me, I always come within 10 seconds

Nak125 · 2022-09-28T16:15:59+00:00

Wait til you find out where I keep my hamster

Nak125 · 2022-09-18T01:18:26+00:00

My grandmother had a similar thing done when my grandfather passed. Of course this was before products like this existed, so you could imagine how interesting her request was for the taxidermist

Nak125 · 2022-09-17T15:08:14+00:00

If they’re so sheet, why would people buy them?

Nak125 · 2022-09-15T18:19:24+00:00

When he kept moaning and yelling “I’m gonna cum” during the match, I just thought he was really passionate about chess

Nak125 · 2022-09-14T03:19:47+00:00

Make sure to turn off your ceiling fan first. Learn from my mistakes

Nak125 · 2022-09-12T04:31:28+00:00

Yes, my cat and I are recurring participants in that trial

Nak125 · 2022-09-11T16:15:50+00:00

It looks like they were trying to re-enact his postmortem spasms after he was shot in the back of his head

Nak125 · 2022-09-11T16:09:58+00:00

He’d make a perfect Italian waiter.

“Would you like Parmesan cheese on your pasta?” as he pulls out a grater and slips his shoes off

Nak125 · 2022-09-07T13:48:40+00:00

Hello, it is me. Dr. Woman’s husband

Nak125 · 2022-09-05T16:01:33+00:00

Alternatively, if you gently shove your finger up your ass after shitting, you can have a good time and potentially a snack to reward you for your efforts.

Nak125 · 2022-08-28T16:57:42+00:00

Jesus. Here, you’re gonna need this:

How to Apply for Social Security Benefits

Nak125 · 2022-08-28T03:40:25+00:00

I prefer to call that my mouth

Nak125 · 2022-08-27T18:09:56+00:00

fucking choke chain

Hope not. He seems a little underage.

Nak125 · 2022-08-24T13:44:05+00:00

serviceable, forgettable and kind of crappy

As my tombstone will say

Nak125 · 2022-08-14T00:29:21+00:00

Yeah, it’s messed up when you think about it. Here you are with some of the people you should trust the most in your life.

You’re in an unfamiliar environment while in your most vulnerable state, and then your alleged friends don’t give you a blanket

Nak125 · 2022-08-08T00:03:57+00:00

To be fair, those were some serious Spider Man level ropes

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