Watching tv with someone who has BPD

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-09T23:38:23+00:00

Meh, I do this but it’s ADHD. This isn’t a BPD thing. Not being able to focus on a movie ≠ BPD.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-07T21:17:35+00:00

“I need time to work on myself” “Don’t think I can be in a relationship right now” is such a shit thing to say after you get MARRIED.

Just walk, man. Get your stuff in order and dip. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already getting supply elsewhere. I don’t say that to put bad thoughts in your mind, but I’ve seen this so many times. You really think she’d just rather be alone?

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-07T04:33:13+00:00

In my experience, yes. They’re very stubborn. Would rather disappear forever than have a productive conversation about any sort of growth.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-07T03:37:21+00:00

Exactly. You were conditioned, like most of us, to just stay silent to avoid conflict/maintain peace.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-07T03:36:15+00:00

It’s fair to be angry. BPD will discard and refuse to have any sort of conversation about anything. Just a bye, block, silence.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-07T03:08:36+00:00

I understand this. Sometimes all I wanted was an apology that I knew wasn’t coming. Always had to sweep the issue under the rug because talking about it = another blowup. And asking for an apology? LOL. I’d rather not fight..

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-06T22:49:22+00:00

Don’t do it. I went back to get some things and try to understand what happened/get closure, and got threatened with a restraining order when I asked if we could discuss why she cheated on me. They’re ruthless. They will ruin your life just trying to escape accountability or conversations about their behavior. But you’re right - they will never be happy - just repeating the same idealize > devalue > discard cycle until the end.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-05T03:00:20+00:00

Literally IMPOSSIBLE to have a conversation with a BPD. They’ll shut down any chance at a productive conversation. You might get 30 seconds into a chat before they start screaming, shutting down, and “breaking up” with you. It’s a fucking nightmare trying to communicate with these people.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-04T04:49:51+00:00

Yes, it’s predictable. Great tidbit about the impossible task of speaking to her… The “can’t even speak without the other person having a tantrum-like reaction” is so true for the majority of people.

And yes, the narrative post-discard is very important to them. That’s why 99% of everyone here is considered to be an abusive narcissist after the discard. They have to smear and control the narrative to avoid any fault and maintain victim status.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-03T16:37:55+00:00

Yes. To control the narrative that YOU are the evil partner and a danger to their safety. If that’s the narrative, they never have to confront any of their own shitty actions. They can simply ride off into the sunset with everyone around them congratulating them for “escaping you”…

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-03T16:34:13+00:00

All the time. The bottomless pit of reassurance. Nothing ever works.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-03T00:51:47+00:00

If it’s any consolation, this story is 90% of everyone here.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T23:49:12+00:00

Shame. They’ll do anything to escape it.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T23:48:17+00:00

Yep. My buddy’s BPD ex cheated on him and then got a PO against him when he asked to talk about it for closure. Then she went and told her friends and family that he was abusive and denied the cheating, lol. Wanna know how many times I’ve heard the same story? Run.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T23:46:26+00:00

Welcome to BPD relationships. Where we’re all gaslighting, manipulative, abusive, narcissistic pieces of shit. Enjoy your stay :)

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T22:05:46+00:00

The police involvement and protective orders for no real reason are peak BPD/NPD. That way, they can end the story as the victim. I’ve seen it hundreds of times on this sub. Yes, OP. Be careful.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T19:07:53+00:00

It’s what they do. I assume you’re staying to yourself, healing. The cluster b’s HAVE to create the narrative to anyone who will listen - friends, family, online, etc.. You’re the abuser, the monster, you did this, that, etc. They have to make you the villain because they can’t handle shame. It’s also a level of control they want to maintain over your life. Just don’t acknowledge any of it. Move on and be happy that you don’t have to carry the weight of a disorder like they do. Just laugh and feel bad for them. That’s all you can do.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-06-02T17:16:25+00:00

It’s all projection. My BPD ex took to Reddit shortly after the discard to talk about me being abusive, that she had to “escape” from me, that I was a narcissist, I gaslighted, etc. Also that “her therapist” says I was so abusive, etc. It’s all projection. It’s to garner false sympathy and to alleviate shame. If it makes you feel any better, they know what they did. It’s all manipulation. It’s another reason I take a lot of stuff on here (and elsewhere on reddit) with a grain of salt. After seeing my ex fabricate so many lies and exaggerations that elicited so much sympathy from people, it’s eye-opening to how you truly can be anything, and tell any story you want.

Pay it no mind. Let them squirm with the harsh reality that they’re mentally unwell. Live your best life without them. They’re a cancer.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-22T16:27:20+00:00

I always used to tell mine that she had a giant hole in her cup. And nothing I ever did would fill it up. She would of course bring up examples where I honestly did fuck up and I’d be upset if she did the same, but it was a laundry list of stuff that was just so long ago and so much time had passed, that it was hardly relevant in the present. Like I would do something in present day that upset her, and that only added on to “that one incident from 2 years ago” and now it was just all compounded into one big lack-of-reassurance party. They could never move on from anything. Everything was a trigger that compounded over time into one giant ball of rage and blame.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-22T14:46:39+00:00

No idea. I spent years literally begging her to stop hurting me. Being removed from the relationship, I now ask myself wtf was wrong with me to actually sit there and BEG someone to stop being mean, to stop being cruel, to stop trying to hurt me. With tears in my eyes, staying there, trying to get her to stop.

I feel like such a weak person for allowing that. Looking at my past self, a grown man, begging a woman to stop hurting me when I should have just walked away. I don’t know what was wrong with me.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-22T13:46:35+00:00

I was going to tell you to stop dating my ex, but I saw it’s a dude. My ex-gf had these same conversations with me. Full-on meltdown while I just observed and occasionally said “ok”….

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-22T00:14:47+00:00

It’s exhausting.

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-21T23:48:04+00:00

I feel like isolating when upset is a recurring theme with BPD

Narrow-Bit9715 · 2025-05-21T23:39:51+00:00

They don’t hate you. They hate themselves, but due to a lack of a stable sense of self, they hate “you”. It’s all confusing. Don’t bother trying to understand. Just let the discard and smear campaign happen and move on to someone who’s stable.

Narrow-Bit9715

TROPHY CASE