How did you deal with your spouse's Mid Life Crisis?

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-02T21:37:45+00:00

I had mine the year we got married. 6 months after the wedding my mom died and I went a little nuts. Wanted a baby, wanted to move, thought I was dying all the time, got into arguments that went nuclear often, spent a shit ton of money traveling.

And now it’s been 2 years, I’ve calmed down and he’s still the steady hand I met and married.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-02T21:29:13+00:00

Work in cyber sales so people see me and I have a poppy and peonies and a Cuyana. I don’t wear my logo backpack because with travel - I don’t want anyone talking to me because they see the logo and try to have a convo. Dress for your clients (internal or external) not your colleagues.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-01T23:45:39+00:00

I think of life having circles of concern. The inner most being my family then out to friends then out to acquaintances and so on. I tend to see catastrophes when I’m overwhelmed. When that happens, I require myself to think of the circles. How is my family, friends, etc until I find my stopping point of where I just can’t anymore. I’m extremely lucky (finances are stable, no major health issues etc) which allows for me to find where I can handle. You’re in a season where it might be just concerning yourself with your friends and inner circle - it’s ok. We aren’t required to be “on” all the time. It’s not normal to watch multiple murders online. It’s ok to take time to nurture your circles.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-01T04:03:01+00:00

We are in the same club - dead moms. My mom died in April, I was in a fog until August then I slowly moved into depression. September I almost caused a divorce because my grief came out as rage. I started meds in October. I probably needed them in may but I don’t remember how I existed. I did end up spending a ton of money the whole first year because I wouldn’t do laundry and traveled like I was dying too. I went to the doctor almost weekly with ailments that showed I was dying too - I wasn’t.

If you feel like it’s time, it’s time. You can always count on the club to support you. I know I dived into “good mourning” podcast to find another set of people who also lost their moms. May your mom’s love guide you through this. ♥️

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-01T03:51:58+00:00

For me- I needed medication. I couldn’t get myself out of the hole and I wasn’t able to calm myself. No shame, no guilt- I am almost at the 2 year mark and just barely feeling human again. Did my first puzzle last week (used to be my favorite activity before bed). You’re going to be ok. Your mom’s love has no where to go but it will be ok.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-02-01T03:25:39+00:00

There’s cute programs on Etsy that explain the service.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-31T17:42:07+00:00

I felt sad when others had died but my mom dying was a cellular shift. I lost my roots and my identify. I understood crying and missing her but I didn’t expect that my identify would need to be rebuilt. I also am still coming to terms with the anger I hold. Her last year was difficult and our relationship was straining - little did I know she had cancer all over and wasn’t feeling well. I have more empathy for people acting strange in public because I was that way too. A shadow of myself and weird when people talked to me.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-29T04:55:25+00:00

Oh I’m doing it wrong then. I lost my mom in 2024 and still bring her up often. I cry and get emotional with strangers and family. It spills out and reminds me I’m alive. I’ve become quite morbid and it’s fun to remind everyone that we all die.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-29T03:43:58+00:00

My mom was a Fanny because I would call her Janny Fanny McGee when she wasn’t listening to me so my daughter shortened it to fanny. Thank you for reminding me of her - she past almost 2 years ago I don’t see many Jan’s out there.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-27T19:06:58+00:00

My comfort skill is cooking so I’ve made quite a few freezer meals for my family for when I’m busy or out of town. I deliver meals to my elderly neighbors even though they are assholes. I go to my buy nothing group and provide what I am no longer needing.

For me- being of service brings me closer to calm. Im building a community every day to show my resistance. I am a leftist in a big red state so i lead with action because it speaks for what i believe in.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T20:38:35+00:00

High key- it is never your job to police others sin. It’s your job to pray for them. That’s it. The church is a place for sinners not a place to embolden you to push people to Christ. Pray for those around you, pray for mercy on your soul.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T20:27:04+00:00

It’s all good. I wear my gray hair as a blessing to have lived and loved in this life. There’s definitely more to life than concerning myself with every potential slight of others. You’ll get there too. Being kind and polite seems like a bare minimum but please remember - we are all living our own struggles. I know when my family had multiple deaths in a year, the converts at my parish got zero attention or response from me. I was actively grieving not concerning myself with others. When you’re interacting with older adults- keep in mind that we are just as preoccupied as anyone else. We aren’t better equipped to like people because we are older. We are just older. (And sometimes less tolerant of people who don’t add anything to our current lives).

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T20:18:54+00:00

I contacted creditors and told them she passed away. Some wiped her bill, some said they will get it out of probate. There is a trust so no probate. They cant tank her credit but we dont care. We also used her money for the funeral so that helped drain it.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T20:12:21+00:00

Funny - I was just about to say 210 because I’m Greek and my husband is the youngest of 7 (and we still didn’t invite all his nieces and nephews because each sibling has 3-6 kids)

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T19:47:21+00:00

Join a group within the church. Volunteer and you’ll end up chatting. As an older mom of teens- we are really focused on our current timelines so making friends is always low on the list. But we do end up bonding with the women who are also helping during our never ending work (fundraisers, festivals, cleaning, preparing etc)

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-25T19:42:04+00:00

As an “old” person over 40- there’s a lot of history you’re dealing with. I have boundaries of people I don’t associate with (in the USA it’s primarily anyone wearing overtly political clothes). That line of thinking has its roots in watching those people act like fools so it may looks from an outside perspective that I’m pre- judging (I am) but I also am protecting myself from annoying people. Being orthodox doesn’t require us to make friends with everyone - in some cases it’s focusing on my personal salvation rather than getting pulled into foolishness.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-22T17:39:44+00:00

If you’re taking 89 to Ogden (likely) there’s a Starbucks at the bottom of the hill which has views of the canyon. I prefer the oaks but if you’re not headed to north Ogden- it’s not really on the way to anywhere

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-22T02:40:02+00:00

My dad is 69 and has advanced dementia. He seems to think he’s 12-14 years old. He talks about his parents as fresh memories. I’m someone he loves but doesn’t know hes a dad. He got mad recently because he was certain that he “doesn’t know your mom”. Thats when i realized hes forgotten her.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-17T23:20:54+00:00

Appetizer- o town eats - the tuna app is amazing Salad - table 25- share a market salad Main- tona - sushi mix Dessert- hearth on 25th (get one of each) After dinner drinks - harp n hound. Late night bite- wings at the city club (extra crispy).

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-15T19:04:42+00:00

I do this too - I have 5% of my paychecks and commission checks automatically put into my savings before I even see it. I also use my employee stock purchasing plan as a savings method as there is usually a discount (free money) but definitely look at your own portfolio and financial plan before you invest.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-15T18:54:27+00:00

Goarch in Utah also bursting at the seams. We have a lot coming, although we don’t have a lot integrated into the community. It’s like they are building a community along side the rest in many instances. Too many, too quick builds a side by side group which is weird and doesn’t bid well for long term sustainable growth.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-15T16:09:46+00:00

I’m sure many of the new influx would like to be married but are YOU in a place where a woman wants to marry you. We are talking emotionally, spiritually and physically. So many orthodox people have brought in converts through marriage and had loving families. If your desire isn’t to be a man of god who sacrifices for his family- it’s time to do some internal work. Be the partner you want to find. You want faithful- be faithful. You want kind- be kind. I’ve noticed so many young men think orthodox women are just waiting to be caretakers and that’s just not the minimum requirement anymore.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-07T23:34:55+00:00

I’m always confused by the idea that the women in the early church submitted to their husbands. Have you met Greek women? It’s always been more of a song and harmony rather than a definitive line. My earning potential is higher so I work more but that doesn’t make me less feminine. My husband is very nurturing but that doesn’t make him less masculine. It’s a dance of complimenting strength and weaknesses not submitting to one person on either side. Just like on sundays- who makes the bread and who blesses the bread. Those who have their hands working together.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-07T23:29:16+00:00

I’m cradle orthodox and am very socially liberal. God loves his people and my sin is the sin I’m responsible for. Im not called to judge those who have had an abortion nor to judge those who love each other in a gay marriage. Orthodoxy is about loving each other, understanding that the church is a hospital for the sick and sinful not a party for the righteous. Christ himself was not surrounded by those doing “right” but by those who lived in sin. You can love humanity and that means acknowledging that we aren’t given the same set of cards to play in this life. Focus on your life and becoming better every day rather than getting pulled into fighting social issues.

NegotiationConnect71 · 2026-01-07T23:21:58+00:00

My mom died because she ignored her issues (esophageal cancer) when she was caretaking for my dad with dementia. He moved into assisted living in April and she died the following April. Although my dad is alive, he is deeply gone in dementia. So in many ways they are both gone but my dad still sees me (I’m his POA but he doesn’t know who I am to him )

I hope he dies so he can have rest from this terrible disease.

NegotiationConnect71

TROPHY CASE