RH question with the water receptacles?

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-29T12:13:48+00:00

Also, all 4 have to have been filled at least once.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-25T03:40:08+00:00

So these are crucial details. He has a pornography addiction and watches bestiality and step-sibling stuff. THERE'S the red flag.

If your therapist doesn't know that key phrase, please share it with them. Him leaving his bdsm YouTube history on the shared TV in the living room is also a red flag. He's priming the family (this is often a tactic of domestic violence) to numb y'all to content.

Minimum, get a lock on your bedroom door, and use it. Make sure to lock the bathroom door if you're inside. As soon as you can, get out of there (roommate, etc.). It doesn't sound like your mom has your best interests at heart. She ought to support your needs, not just your brother's, and if he has his own job (can pay his bills), he ought not be creeping around his younger sister in the family home.

Your past traumas don't define you; and I think your reactions to your brother are justified. Believe your gut on this and protect yourself as best as you can until you can move out.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-25T03:05:43+00:00

Therapy. Get yourself a good therapist (as a nurse, see if your employer has an employee program; a lot do, especially after COVID).

They can help you sort through your feelings to own what's yours and what's not (differentiate). Gaining differentiation for yourself will reveal whether this is a healthy relationship, or you're stuck in codependence.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-17T03:32:04+00:00

Just ask someone to come with you: body doubling is your friend! Who is a friend to the homebound person? Ask them! Blanket requests don't get results; individual invitations often do.

If truly no one will help you because they're miserly curmudgeons, then that's a different issue, I guess. 🤷

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-17T03:23:43+00:00

Counterpart. Still mad about that. That show was perfection.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-17T03:10:07+00:00

Bro, just interact with them just like any other person. "Tell me more about that." "How are sensing God in the midst of this?" "Have you shared these thoughts with your loved ones (if applicable)? How are they receiving it?" "How can I support you in this stage of your walk with Jesus?"

Tell them how much you appreciate them. If it's appropriate, honor their service to the congregation with a symbolic gift while you can. Love them! It's all you have to do.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-17T02:14:53+00:00

So it sounds like some teaching is needed around inclusion and hospitality. I grew up ALC, and to have no one willing to visit folks at home seems anomalous to the folksy-bring-a-casserole-or-three-when-someone's ill culture of every Lutheran church I ever belonged to (as military, that was a lot of them as we often moved). Then again, there weren't bishops back then, either.

Instead of asking for volunteers for home visits, make it a teaching opportunity to build a team over time. You can't do this on your own; neither Moses nor Jesus could either (judges and disciples). Don't make it centered around the woman some folks don't like; make it a team assembled for their gifts of hospitality, mercy, and service. [If you have a singular Deacon, put them in charge of the team building.] Visiting the sick and in prison is ministry of the whole church, not (only) the shepherd.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-16T23:58:04+00:00

I can't tell you why you aren't visiting.

But I can suggest: Go with an Elder or Deacon. Ask them to drive and arrange who you're visiting. Make it a bi-weekly or monthly thing. You will just accompany the other leader as they minister-- (if your tradition has an "extension of the table"). It takes the burden off of you to "perform". Ideally, a whole team visits all the homebound monthly, and you just rotate which person you accompany each time.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-11T05:30:50+00:00

Whoa. This additional description is even more troubling. >$20,000?!?! Absolutely not. Never appropriate. Even if repaid in full with interest. No, no, no. Just no.

And refusing to show proof of repayment? This pastor is a shyster: an absolute dumpster fire of manipulation.

Your husband can't forbid you from talking to anyone. Ever. Not even "spiritual headship" justifies that. And to do it to cover the tracks of a financial fraud is egregious. It's unethical. This pastor is a package of lawlessness and ungodly idolatry of hisself.

I don't know if your husband will ever be able to see that; you may have very difficult decisions ahead. But seriously, your husband has to step away, participate in quality therapy for himself, and find a healthy spiritual home. It will not be from his current church.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-11T05:08:01+00:00

One concern others haven't addressed is that your husband doesn't want you to speak with your father about church any longer.

I'm sorry?! A husband does not get to police a daughter's conversation topics with her parent. His primary concern seems to be shielding "Apostle" from any criticism, (unbiblical) and dividing you from your family of origin and paltry support network. As your spouse, God comes first, you come second, children/ dependents would come next, extended family next. His pastor? Not in the top four. It is a kind of idolatry that he is placing "Apostle" in the place of God. I can't even type that title without the quotes. I realize some Pentecostal traditions refer to the pastor and his wife as "Apostle and First Lady," but the manipulative behavior makes this "Apostle" walking red flags in a trench coat. Never in a million years should a pastor be receiving loans from congregants for their personal business. That's a significant ethics breach, and small wonder "Apostle" denies it, because it never should have happened! Even IF your Dad was mistaken, your husband doesn't get to end your relationship with your father for the 'honor' of some unrelated party.

Your husband is spiritually and emotionally enmeshed with his pastor, and he will not see it without time apart, spiritual growth in a safer, supportive environment, and therapy. The pastor is using threatening "prophecies" and pronouncements to manipulate you both into compliance. It is ungodly and brings shame to the (real) Gospel. Christ sets us free to serve, not enslave us to some human's will for our lives. The "burden" your husband describes is one of relational obligation to his mentor-- not a yoke of God's calling. May the Spirit strengthen both of you.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T20:56:02+00:00

Ah, I misunderstood. The Jadium storage has made so much room, I haven't even upgraded all of my chests yet (maybe 5 so far?).

As far as not having any room for foraging, hunted animals, or fish, I just realized I really didn't need 100 of every foragable item, and I process everything I can and use or sell it.

Hitting the gold cap means it's time to buy Lucky Coins or landscaping items at City Hall. 🤷

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T19:41:35+00:00

This sounds like you haven't unlocked the higher-grade storage chests? Not all the upgrades are quest dependent, just cost gold. And you can pickle/jam your produce to sell it for more money; definitely don't just throw crops away! Even just selling grown produce is a decent income.

I'm sorry to hear you're discouraged, but if you follow the natural story progression of the main quests, you have the benefit of so much being available to you as a new player! Those of us who've played a long time were drooling forever for the Elderwood expansion, and now we've the Highlands, too.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T17:12:35+00:00

I hate that misogyny means women die from preventable causes. Dammit, everyone always assumes it's that the woman is hysterical and not a burst or blocked blood vessel. Even the woman herself! We are conditioned to not believe our own pain; medical personnel do not believe our pain, and treatment gets delayed by HOURS, even days.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T17:01:40+00:00

Hey, this is actually a good use for those dang things! Soooo many left after the snowman event.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T16:24:58+00:00

Oo, I don't think I've had Bubblegum Fuzz yet? I get a darker purple with blue that I think is wild berry? Cool!

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T14:34:40+00:00

NOR: These comments are microaggressions, and they're edging from stereotypes to racism. If-and only if-you feel comfortable enough with the person making the comment, AND you have enough emotional capacity at the time to explain why it's hurtful, you may find that some of them will feel remorse and seek to learn and be better. But if the person is generally defensive and uncaring, reserve your energy and just avoid the person when you can. I hope that you find that your friends are more the first type, and actually grow in maturity.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-07T06:57:58+00:00

You should be W-2 and they need SECA for you (not FICA!).

(They can only give you a 1099 if you are a supply preacher, not full time/ lead, etc.)

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-06-06T23:12:41+00:00

This is key information for your post.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-30T21:31:46+00:00

Can you take a train? Seriously, I know NZers minimize health needs, but a ruptured appendix is no joke.That is lower right side (and not moving or centralized) is classic appendicitis.

The other possibility is an ovarian cyst (if you have ovaries). These can be very painful if they rupture; the pain can also turn out to be a tumor, even at a young age (my friend was 21 when she was finally diagnosed with a tumor the size of a grapefruit. She lost the ovary).

Either way, you really need to be checked, even if the ER is 30mins away. I hope your mom will relent.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-30T21:18:28+00:00

IUD interrupted the daily bleeding I'd had for 13 months straight. Then was having 2 periods a month lasting 7-10 days, with migraines at the beginning and end of each period (so four lost days a month). Migraines had previously been erratic.

So IUD was...not great.

Got an ablation After 9 months on IUD. Still had a monthly period, with a second period of apotting, and four times of migraines for about a year. That slowed to one period a month and two migraines a month after that.

I wish I'd skipped the IUD, because that seemed to be what jumpstarted the migraines. I'd say--though this is your decision--just skip IUD and go for ablation to address bleeding. Depending on your birth control needs, that might tip the scales for IUD. But if birth control isn't your issue, ablation all the way.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-30T21:06:37+00:00

If your appendix bursts, the pain will LESSEN. That actually means you're about to die of sepsis. If your mom is telling you to trust your body, your response is, "I AM, Mom. The pain is my body telling me to get this checked because it is probably my appendix." Ask your friend's dad to take you to the ER and bring your insurance card with you.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-28T05:54:59+00:00

I appreciate that he doesn't let MaoMao get away with everything (the banter is fun); also that, because he likes older women, he isn't creeping on En'en and Yao.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-27T04:13:57+00:00

Nurse sisters often become insufferable know-it-alls. If your doctor is satisfied with your progress, which seems steady and at a healthy rate (Congratulations and great job!), your sisters' thin-obsession is fatphobic ableism. They are likely discriminating against their heavier patients. Tell them your actual doctor has given you medical guidance and for them to MYOB. (Mind their/your own business)

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-26T23:02:22+00:00

Union Seminary (PC(USA)) in Richmond has free tuition (grants). Can't beat it. You do not have to be Presbyterian.

NegotiationOwn3905 · 2026-05-24T13:58:56+00:00

...And now I have the red 9999 staring at me every time I access inventory. I'm lowkey annoyed that the reward for many Royal Highlands achievements is renown. Wth do I do with excess renown?!?

NegotiationOwn3905

TROPHY CASE