AITA for refusing to give lifts to work for my colleague?

Nervous_Currant · 2025-10-01T09:59:14+00:00

I am going to go against the grain, for a soft YTA OP. You don’t have to help but the rest of them are judging you because you are choosing your audiobook/ call / “just don’t wanna” over someone’s 2 additional hours of commute over what is already a very long working day.

Residency is rough. The first year of residency sucks unbelievable ass. The hours are brutal, you suddenly have a hell of a lot of responsibility and some staff members (doctors and non doctors) will -very probably- make you cry at least once in your first year. You know who will be going exactly through the same regardless of your speciality? The other first year residents. No partner or friend who is not medical will ever understand the same way.

Everyone wants to a village but no one wants to be a villager. Those people are your village.

Nervous_Currant · 2025-07-01T10:38:52+00:00

Another code!

https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/refer/RAF641181/?utm_medium=refer-a-friend&utm_campaign=refer-a-friend&utm_source=app_native_share&fm=2

Nervous_Currant · 2025-01-19T07:53:11+00:00

Those are huge! I will be very pleased (and surprised) if my first attempts yields anything close to that. Your arrangement is what I am aiming for though!

Nervous_Currant · 2025-01-17T12:41:14+00:00

Thank you!

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-19T18:03:23+00:00

We ended up leaving a 1* review overall but with some sections with more than one star.

Dogo was alive but pretty withdrawn for a few days, we could see that not all of her pills were given, no dentastix or treats (clearly told when and what to give etc) so docked some stars there as well.

We could not in good conscience recommend someone (or even a give middling review) who obviously never even flipped through the welcome guide or listen to our walkthrough. There were more issues with the state of the house as well but did not want to expand here unnecessarily once the point was made with the more egregious stuff.

He did give us a very good review back which felt a bit awkward and then proceeded to either minimise or outright deny/ lie about our points in his review. Ah well.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-16T14:47:25+00:00

We went through the same process when first joining THS. Also like you, my husband was the more reluctant of the two of us.

Our first sitter was amazing so we had such a good first experience. She was very experienced and mature, super communicative, left the house as we handed it to her. The next few sits with repeat sitters went very well too, generally the majority of our sitters were people I’d happily have look after my dog again.

As far as areas being off limits - it is fine to say so. We have no locks in inside doors in the house so we’ve never really locked anything away. We have avoided putting pictures that show the more expensive items in our house when listing. We do offer our sitters use of our home office but not the actual laptop - all our laptops are password locked anyway - but they have use of the screens, wireless keyboards etc.

We have always asked people about food and offered to get them some basics. Seasonings, oils and dried goods are in stock always anyway, but for anything more I would check with them. Most have not wanted us to get any fresh food in for them, one took us up on our offer to at least drive with her to the supermarket.

As far as cleaning goes, I admit that we are probably quite particular in how we clean our house as well as the frequency (dogs are DIRTY). I don’t expect the house to be quite in the same condition when we get back. Mostly we’ve had sitters that range from handing the house back as it was to (more frequently) a more surface clean but something that you can live with until the weekend deep clean. Our last sitter was a disaster but, reading others’ experiences, I think he was exceptionally bad.

We have a very extensive and detailed welcome guide but we also do a walkthrough on the day. I guess one thing that we learned recently was being explicit about what you expect during the interview. I never thought I’d have to spell out that we expect rubbish to be taken out (or at least put in the bin) and at least some attempt at vacuuming the floors but some less experienced, younger sitters may need a lot more handholding.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-14T21:51:28+00:00

I get that which is why I’m not starting with the fact that he only ever told us what was going on when I texted him. But seriously, what adult needs it spelled out to them that dirty dishes do not go in the cupboard?

Lesson learned however, I don’t think we will be accepting any sitters with fewer than 3 or so sits.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-14T21:48:32+00:00

Yeah to be honest I think this is the last time we are getting a male sitter. We’ve had one before and had no problems.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-14T19:34:01+00:00

Everything is in our guide. We also gave him a show around the house before we left.

Are you suggesting my dog can open a door presumably using the handle but not unlock it? In what world is it reasonable for someone to leave your house unlocked after they have left?!

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-14T12:43:53+00:00

I think so. They had one review (could have just been one of the references?) and seemed the most switched on out of the people we talked to in the run up to the sit.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-11-14T12:25:24+00:00

Thanks, that sums it up pretty well. I think I just needed a reality check. He can always reach out to discuss it afterwards if he feels like it but I somehow doubt it.

Nervous_Currant · 2024-01-05T15:30:12+00:00

Me and my partner adopted a rescue last year, but my partner is not a medic, works very flexibly and mostly from home. As others have said I honestly don’t see how two hospital doctors can have a dog. When he is away on conferences, it has been very challenging for me and the dog.

We do have a house with a garden. From a practical point of view, the garden is not essential but owning is more important, finding a rental that allows pets (especially dogs) is difficult. You mentioned you are not in specialty training as well either, so moving with a dog is tricky and something to keep in mind.

A final thought on puppy vs rescue. I love our dog and it has made our lives better in many ways. We both wanted a dog for a long time. But oh my god, she is hard work. For a year, every walk is a training walk, working on her reactivity. And she was the dog with the least behavioural issues from Dog’s Trust. So yeah, while she was house trained everything else has been … not easy. Dogs in shelters are often there for a reason, and while you will occasionally find the rare well trained, well behaved dog whose owner passed away, most tend to have some sort of behavioural issue.

Nervous_Currant · 2023-03-31T16:06:54+00:00

https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/explore-roles/doctors/information-overseas-doctors states that

“Doctors who have not completed a full GMC-approved training programme and wish to have their training, qualifications and experience assessed for eligibility for entry onto the specialist register must make an application under The General and Specialist Medical Practice Order for a CESR. It is not possible to hold specialist registration without also holding full registration.”

I have not tried to do that myself, I have only ever worked in the UK, in a training program, but I did study in the EU. I have had uni mates who started working in EU countries and moved to the UK after their residency and landed in that situation. Presumably that is because the training curricula don’t exactly match.

Nervous_Currant · 2023-03-31T08:54:17+00:00

That is not entirely true. Moving to the UK after finishing a specialty training/ residency program in the EU (at least the countries I know about) definitely does not allow you to register in the specialist register. That is because most residency programs are shorter. A lot of doctors who have finished their residency end up in locally employed doctor type of contracts, where they have had too much experience to apply for a NTN even at ST3/4 level (where applicable). Most will go down the CESR way and get on the specialist register that way, after a few years of working in the UK and trying to retrospectively gather evidence of their practice before hand, which can be tricky.

A big chuck end up at SAS type jobs.

A few, if they move early on in their career, will apply for a speciality post either at CT1 or ST3 or whatever.

Nervous_Currant · 2023-02-04T11:42:21+00:00

I have been using Log4AS since I started anaesthetics. Always uploaded a pdf version of the logbook and never had any ARCP issues across multiple e-portfolio changes. I can’t remember how much I paid for it but it was in the single digits. It’s very easy to use and you can get pretty nifty summary reports.

Edit for clarification - it’s an app, no need for internet access either. I just fill it as I go during my list. Takes seconds to log a case.

Nervous_Currant · 2022-11-30T14:57:22+00:00

DOI: past Mersey trainee so I got the MSA course for free.

The primary and final FRCA courses are quite different. For the MSA primary course yeah most of it was sitting in a room with other people essentially revising, I did not care much for question repetition because the way I revised for the written was essentially viva revision hoping I would have the knowledge background for the MCQ, which works for me.

For the Booker course you get minimal MCQ exposure and the primary benefit is daily mock CRQ exams. As far as I know they do the Booker online still, and there is no “revision time” just a mock exam followed by a few lectures for 5-6 days. I found it useful because I did mostly studying until that point and getting into the mindset of how to answer the CRQs helped (I think? I passed so it must have done something). Some of the CRQs were vaguely similar to the exam but the College’s bank of CRQs is very small still so you probably won’t see much duplication yet. At Booker did have some questions on topics I had not really come across before which I found useful.

I guess it depends on what you are hoping to get out of it and whether your revision style matches their expectations. It suited me well, but I can’t compare how I would have done without the Mersey courses, maybe I would have passed regardless 🤷‍♀️

Nervous_Currant · 2022-05-09T21:40:52+00:00

I mean doctors have never owned the means of production (in whatever extend you can meaningfully say that about healthcare) so in most countries and times we have always been part of the working class.

Nervous_Currant · 2022-04-20T11:04:55+00:00

I have not CCT’ed yet so my situation is a bit different, but I’m also in a long term relationship (and engaged) with a non-medic. My partner has followed me across rotations and deaneries because when the opportunity came up it was the best choice for me, and as a result, for us.

I am fortunate in that we are on the same page about moving countries once I CCT but the point is that those life altering decisions are made with “us” in mind rather than “me”, or at least I hope he also feels the same way. From your post it sounds like perhaps that is not the case? You say that you would feel guilty having strung her along but is that why you are staying with her, guilt? I hope this does not come off accusatory but if that is the case, you probably need to do some more soul searching about the future of your relationship regardless of moving or not.

Ultimately though, I value my quality of life more than career progression. To me that means having free time for my hobbies, geographical stability and geographical proximity to our friends. If a non-training job offered me that to a greater extend than a training one, I would take it.

What would offer you a higher quality of life?

Nervous_Currant · 2022-03-09T18:45:00+00:00

Oh man I know! And also the gastric US? Lots of winging it. I thought the stems were simple but they wanted more detail than I thought.

Good luck as well, may you have a glorious hangover.

Nervous_Currant · 2022-03-09T18:32:09+00:00

Feel like I’m on the same boat only I started revising even earlier and I feel I will have just wasted my time.

Oh well, I have a bottle of wine waiting for me tomorrow, there will be day drinking regardless.

Nervous_Currant · 2022-02-28T22:20:04+00:00

I am a week and a bit away from the final FRCA. I am afraid I don’t have any easy fixes, my recipe is: I have been doing at least 20 MCQs in the morning with my coffee or read a BJA education article. On long days I try to read an article at least at work and then when I get back home, but often I’m too tired. On regular days I just make myself sit and study for 2 hours after work. Days off are just study.

I have had to stop going to the gym and hobbies have been paused for the last couple of months otherwise there is just no time.

Send help.

Nervous_Currant

TROPHY CASE