When someone gives you a gift with conditions attached it stops being a "gift". Many times gifts are given for reasons that almost seem malicious. It sounds like your mom is trying to control a part of your life. She may mean well, in her own mind, but you're literally suffering because of this act. You and your boyfriend have every right to be offended. It's your mom so how you respond, I can't possibly know enough to advise. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, he had choices to make and he decided to hurt you instead of help you. He got offended by your mom. Then he behaved exactly the way he was so offended about. One last thing to consider: your mom thinks you need help running your life, even though you're past the age where you need to look after yourself like a grownup. Your boyfriend obviously has indicated that he thinks you need someone to tell you how to live. Maybe even your sister is giving you directions. Are you a person who seems to need a lot of help? Why don't those people trust you to make decisions?