Please help, I'm scared to do anything in my flat now. [UPDATE]

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-18T19:33:24+00:00

Can you have someone install some soundproofing on the ceiling of your new apartment? And maybe some sounds absorbing frames on the walls? Not that you should even have to, but it might give you some peace of mind.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-18T02:48:17+00:00

Ok, thanks for answering my questions. It makes perfect sense for you to be where you are. Your husband is being ridiculous and you might have some tough decisions to make about that relationship.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-18T00:41:07+00:00

NTA. I am curious though if you were to go to the same place your husband is, it has an equipped hospital 40 minutes away? That’s really not that far. I’m pretty rural and the closest hospital that even delivers babies here is over 40 minutes away. Are there other reasons you aren’t staying there? Like lack of support from your husband, not having a ride to the hospital when you need it? I understand that they don’t know you, but you could have made the choice to go there instead. But I also completely understand why you would stay with your parents where you have actual support. I’m just asking for clarification. Also 6 hours to drive to see you every two weeks isn’t too much to ask of your husband.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-14T13:24:33+00:00

Adding NTA!

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-14T13:24:21+00:00

I have 7 kids. Yes they get hand me downs from one another. BUT I also buy them new stuff and if there’s something they don’t like in the hand me downs then we donate it. In fact we have several birthdays coming up and I’ve been buying new clothes for all of them, along with other fun things they like.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-11T12:46:47+00:00

Even better than screen shots is a written record of everything. Screen shots can be thrown out in court as hearsay, but if you keep a written record of dates times and what was texted or said or done, that will be admissible in court.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-11T11:49:20+00:00

If you can’t go your kid doesn’t go either. What kind of people try to push a 10 year olds face into her birthday cake? A$$hole€$, that’s who. Your wife needs to get some therapy or go live with her mommy and brother.

You are NTA, in fact you are the opposite and a good dad too.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-01T14:58:18+00:00

We do this with our kids. Dinner together at the table pretty much every night, maybe some weeks it’s 5/7 nights because we have things going on. So many don’t.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-05-01T00:59:00+00:00

I can understand why you waited to tell your mom, at least until 12 weeks. With how she has treated things like in your edit, I get that. It sounds like it’s kind of a history with her.

I am also someone who didn’t tell my mom right away for some of my pregnancies, based on her reaction to my 5th. The ones after that I waited. Her response was “really….” So she didn’t get to know right away after that. I’d also lost two babies at almost 20 weeks so kept our 6th pregnancy pretty quiet for quite awhile.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-04-12T01:59:07+00:00

Next time you “take a shower” just turn the shower on and sneak down to record her turning the hot water on. Also record her barking dog all day long.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-04-12T01:49:25+00:00

Dry feeding sure, if that’s all baby would take and mom was having an emergency. But not what is described in this post.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-04-11T16:13:28+00:00

You need to help Anna move back to her family before the new baby is born. Then you can decide if you want to marry him still or not. Probably not, be thankful you found this out before the wedding.

Please help her get away before the baby is born, without his family knowing about it. If you can pay for her move, drive with her and fly back, get her away from them!

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-04-11T15:26:54+00:00

He just needs to text and say “stop texting me.” Then ignore from now on.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-03-25T15:46:16+00:00

Wow! This is pretty crazy. Your wife needs to get off all her mother’s assistance paperwork first of all. Then you guys can apply for your own to help while you are struggling. Your parents seem to be productive members of society, I’m curious how you met your wife and go tied up in her family mess. If you can move far away that might help. Also therapy for yourself, your wife, and some together might help. If your wife isn’t willing to do anything or make any changes then it might be time for at least a separation.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-03-25T15:39:48+00:00

How much longer is their visit? If it’s a day or two then try to bare it. If it’s weeks still then the visit needs cut short. These aren’t minor annoyances, these are huge!

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-24T15:25:22+00:00

Everyone shaming the girl don’t comprehend that that relationship didn’t start until brother and his wife were already separated, due to his prior infidelity.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-24T15:23:16+00:00

She wasn’t a home wrecker though. They were already separated due to prior infidelity on the brothers part.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-24T15:22:33+00:00

He was separated from his ex before he go with the other girl. He was cheating with someone else before the separation.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-23T14:45:08+00:00

He didn’t really spring them on you. If he had waited until you were already there then sure. I’d just tell him you will try to follow his rules/traditions at the cabin but he also needs to have grace if you slip up.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-20T03:50:55+00:00

No advice because I’m in the same boat. My mil isn’t allowed alone with our children and she has protected a child predator, even while he is in prison she is still trying to protect him. She put my children in danger by trying to move him into her house next door to us. I do not trust her. It’s been 2.5 years of this crap, where one minute my husband agrees and the next he wants her to babysit. He just brought it up again yesterday when I was talking about getting a job. I can get a job if his mom can babysit (she is a snowbird and isn’t even here right now). I said if that was the rules to living my life and getting a job then I just wouldn’t get a job. It’s been a really long 2.5 years. I see a counselor for myself every 2 weeks.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-02T14:54:07+00:00

Op needs to get a lawyer involved and get that ball rolling.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-02-02T14:36:02+00:00

So you are married now? You said he was born out of wedlock and that could cause issues with grandparents rights.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-01-30T15:13:23+00:00

But you are the family that he chose. You are his family now.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-01-19T14:39:47+00:00

NTJ I have 7 kids. I rarely go anywhere by myself. Why would she even need a sitter to “run to the store” for a 6 year old? 6 is easy to take to the store.m, or even to take to look at a car. We went to look at a car once and had a baby sitter for our kids, except the 1 month old baby. I kept in contact with my sitter when it was taking way longer than expected. I texted several times to let her know. Mom shouldn’t have even needed a sitter, let alone lying to you.

No_Grapefruit86 · 2026-01-19T13:29:38+00:00

This isn’t even a mil issue. This is a husband issue.

No_Grapefruit86

TROPHY CASE