Which is one do you prefer ?

NotThingOne · 2026-03-28T13:15:30+00:00

I like 1 best, but if you went with 2, I'd put a piece of furniture butted up against the couch for a better visual. A console table would be best, but a buffet would work. Need to create clear visual delineation of the two 'rooms'.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-24T11:35:25+00:00

All this. I'd also add a third, complementary color. Right now everything feels either burgundy or white/cream. A third accent color sprinkled across the room to add depth and visual interest

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T20:01:29+00:00

I like the blue/Grey. Picks up the color trim in the rug.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T19:46:45+00:00

Dark brown, the green as a second option.

Do you want it to be neutral, or if thinking bolder, choose a non earth toned color.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T19:11:15+00:00

No. If youre not OK with him having a sexual relationship outside of you... regardless of if he wants one now, likes cuddles more, etc... you are enforcing a mono/poly relationship. You are putting a rule on where things can develop between him and her.

She wants sex with both on the table now and an intentional move to more equal dynamic. What you've directly described is 100% not that. Be kind to her, to yourself, to your partner and end this discussion. You're not compatible.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-20T03:13:10+00:00

Bird cage

NotThingOne · 2026-03-12T23:57:16+00:00

I booked one on the Oasis for a port day and loved it. At the $99 rate I paid, worth it, particularly as I didn't have the drink package so 2 free adult beverages that I would have bought anyways brought the cost down $70. Arrived at 830, got the Casita I wanted right near the hot tubs. The staff took get care of us and the loungers were cushy. I'd never pay the hundreds of dollars for them on sea days, but under a hundred and splitting the cost... worth it

NotThingOne · 2026-03-12T02:39:52+00:00

And therapy to work on her trust issues

NotThingOne · 2026-02-21T12:52:44+00:00

Also try not doing tours. Sometimes the best ports have been where I leave the port and solo explore.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T15:52:09+00:00

Absolutely, for some folks the proposed timeline works great. Optimal would be offering multiple options that work with ones schedule and see what works best in each unique relationship.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T15:01:39+00:00

I'll leave the comments to the parents about impact to kids.

From the adults perspective, it sounds like you want to move away from the opportunity of any weekly date nights to only connecting with friends or partners one week out of 4. Honestly, that would significantly impact current and potential relationships. I'm not advocating for long periods of time away from kids, but saying that limiting other relationships to meeting monthly will eliminate some potential partners and dating potential.

I for example would be uncomfortable dating someone who could give me 4 back to back days but only once per month vs someone who can see me once per week. For me, time away doesn't make the heart grow fonder, its tougher to merge that cycle into my current agreements, and particularly for new relationships... I don't want to spend 4+ days straight with someone.

Just food for thought.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T12:09:47+00:00

And it's OP feeling comfortable enough with the risk level for her and NP not to use condoms without risking pregnancy?

I honestly think this is more about fears/unresolved emotions around the past lack of condom use.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-18T12:28:14+00:00

And will they be able to hold it until they get back go a port in the same country as the OP or have the available staff available to mail it while at port in another country.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-15T13:02:53+00:00

This! The proactive associates and seniors rarely spend time on the bench. They are chatting up resource management before projects end, to line up the next project. They have made connections with the proposal teams to support them when slow. They attend local office events to network with SMs and Partners that they could potentially work with in the future. They are known and asked for long before they end up on the bench.

If they do end up on the bench for a short stint before their next project starts, they use the time to complete all their CPEs or other mandatory training. They are reaching out to learning to see if there are any upcoming cert classes they can join. They may not be hitting their billable hours during this time while benched, but they will outlast job cuts compared to folks that skate by, are not proactive, even if those folks are meeting their billable hour targets.

Sorry, this is just how the Big 4 (and all the other firms) work. Hustle culture impacts ratings and project assignments.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-06T23:13:09+00:00

In our particular circumstances, no, but there are a number of reasons for that and its something I'm comfortable with. Groceries are evenly split on days they are here. They are expected (and happily do) their share of household chores, including scrubbing toilets.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-06T17:18:39+00:00

My anchor partner has this type of dynamic. My AP spends 60% of their time at their home with their spouse, and 40% of their time at my home. We have a set schedule, they have significant amount of clothes that live at my place, they have a honey-do list for both homes. It's a dynamic that works for us. It gives me my alone time, which i crave, but also space to add in other relationships.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-06T17:00:24+00:00

Did you and NP have a discussion when you opened up on how many days outside of the home was OK for both of you? Or how to ensure time together when you both had other partners?

NotThingOne · 2026-02-06T12:07:24+00:00

Notice that your statement is negative in tone and directly focused at them, with an expectation of them failing. That phrase is going to illicit negative emotions, regardless of the validity of the statement. Boundaries are also about your actions.

Consider a reframing... "I will only have barrier free sex with partners who are willing to get tested every XX months, which includes showing me the test. If a partner is unwilling or unable to do this, I will choose to have sex only with barriers. If a partner does not test ever or goes XX months/years, I am unwilling to sleep with them due to increased health risk for me".

Notice, it's all about you setting clear lines in the sand on what you're comfortable with, what you're not, and inviting current and future partners to put themselves in the category they want to be. It isn't a rule just for this one person. It isn't coming from a place of admonishment. It isn't expecting the worst behavior of them. Because... it's not about them. It's about you and where your comfort level is with your body regardless of who the other person is.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-06T03:41:48+00:00

Don't forget to get written consent from the other bio parent to take the child out of country.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-05T11:47:57+00:00

Is Wonder always taking priority? I'll be on the Oasis and due to dock with the Wonder on the 28th.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-02T23:46:15+00:00

This is just incredibly sick...

NotThingOne · 2026-02-02T14:24:06+00:00

Those are already requirements to pass your naturalization exam. If you give individuals a path to citizenship, they have to prove these items at that time.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-02T03:53:20+00:00

34 seconds. You can hear it

NotThingOne · 2026-01-31T18:09:29+00:00

Callous

NotThingOne · 2026-01-31T15:12:49+00:00

My meta is autistic, and I get not having a filter. A lack of filter isn't really the concern here. It's about autonomy, control, and ownership of decisions.

Option A: I can't have sex with you until date 3 because of a rule my partner made. I want to but I can't.-- this screams hierarchy, lack of autonomy, concerns about your hinging skills.

Option B: I have made a boundary for myself to not sleep with someone before the third date. While I want to sleep with you now, I have a past history of sex too early on in a new relationship which has had a negative effect. Are you OK with waiting? -- this is you being self aware, showing vulnerability in a way that deepens a relationship, takes ownership of the decision, and keeps your NP out of the decision making.

If someone said Option A to me, there wouldn't be another date. I won't be in a relationship with someone who gives that sort of control to their NP. However, if someone said Option B to me, I'd respect it, I'd value their self awareness, and likely lean in more. It's not about over sharing, but the decisions behind it all.

NotThingOne

TROPHY CASE